


Sunshine Through Dark Clouds

by Diggy



Series: Riley Universe [SDV] [1]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Body Dysmorphia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, References to Depression, Romance, Sam is a golden retriever and you can't convince me otherwise, awkward stumbling relationships, cringe-worthy first encounters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 55,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23607073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diggy/pseuds/Diggy
Summary: Before there was Shane, there was Sam.And before there was Sam, there was Riley Peters: City girl that had just moved into the middle of Nowhere Valley, in a run-down farm and way over her head. Yet a few years later here she was in her best friends room staring at a hole in her sock and planning a night of pool and pizza at the Saloon just like every other Friday.If only she'd taken the hole in her sock as indication for the kind of night she was in for and stayed home. But then again, if she had, the night wouldn't have progressed the way it had and then she never would have run into Shane and that would really have been a loss in itself.If only she knew.
Relationships: Abigail/Sebastian (Stardew Valley), Sam/Sebastian (Stardew Valley), Shane/Female Player (Stardew Valley)
Series: Riley Universe [SDV] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797919
Comments: 208
Kudos: 152





	1. The Hole in her Sock

It started with  **_Sam._ **

Now I know what you’re thinking. Sam? I thought I was reading a story about _Shane._ And you are, I promise. 

But before there was  _ Shane,  _ there was  _ Sam.  _

And before there was Sam, there was Riley Peters: City girl that had just moved into the middle of Nowhere Valley, in a run-down farm and  _ way  _ over her head. I mean she knew nothing about even keeping a potted plant alive and even less about crops and soil conditions or any of the three-million variables that play a part in growing your own produce. 

But Riley was a trooper. She was one tough cookie and she hated most of her existence up to that point so she figured moving to Stardew Valley and just out of Pelican Town would at least be an adventure to break up the monotony of cubicles and three-hour traffic.

So she did it. Grandpa passed away, left the farm to her so she packed five boxes of belongings, three of which actually made it to town and uprooted her entire life. She was 28 years old and had nothing to show for her near three decades of life other than a useless degree and vast crippling anxiety that she tried her damndest to get over.

But then she found herself here, in a tiny town where everyone knew everything and where if you sneezed at 9am, by the 3pm the same day everyone knew you had a cold. 

For the most part everyone was friendly. There were the older residents. Mayor Lewis who had a golden streak of naughty in his silver hair but welcomed Riley as if she’d always been a part of the community. 

Marnie the local rancher. She gave Riley some extra feed every winter to help with the cold season and brought her a stray dog when Riley had developed a rodent problem.

There were George and Evelyn, both seniors and living with their young adult grandson they’d raised since he was a toddler. George wasn’t the friendliest of folks, but Riley gave him a pass seeing as the poor old man was ridden to a wheelchair and despite his harsh bark, everyone knew he had a lot more good in him than he let on.

Then there were the more middle-aged lot. They took up a majority of the population, most with young adult children. Like Jodi the housewife and Kent who was deployed overseas. Elliot who lived on the beach and did...well, Riley wasn’t really sure. And Doctor Harvey who was way,  _ way _ too friendly with everyone but that was probably a good thing since he was the only doctor within a hundred mile radius.

Pierre owned the local store and he fought tooth and nail to keep his doors open despite the ever looming threat of Joja mart nearby. Riley was extra thankful to him because he always bought her produce and though she wasn’t an expert, she was fairly certain he paid her more than he really should have.

Then there was Caroline, his wife. She was okay. A little more free spirited than you’d imagine. That was probably where their daughter Abigail got it from. When Riley first moved into Town Abigail’s hair was ultra violet. Then one time it had been hot pink, electric blue, she was pretty certain she’d worn a red wig once too. But for the most part her go-to color was purple. Some shade of it anyways.

Abigail was friends with some of the younger generation in town. Sebastian, the outcast son of the local carpenter, Robin, who was always trying to convince Riley to upgrade her tiny house despite the fact that she could barely keep the lights on. 

And then there was Sam. The first time Riley met Sam three things came to mind:

_ Sunshine. _

_ Music. _

And a shit ton of  _ energy. _

Like  _ too _ much energy. Like she was pretty certain Sam had enough energy to power the whole town if she could just find a way to bottle it up. He was pretty immature, but she didn’t really blame too much of that on him. He was young, still lived at home, still had his mother babying him as if he was 8 like his little brother Vincent and not 22-years old and more than capable of folding his own underwear. 

But Sam had something about him that just made everyone smile whenever they were around him. One would assume it was his naivety initially. But under further inspection Riley came to suspect it wasn’t so much that Sam didn’t see the darkness around but that he purposely chose to ignore it and keep on shining. 

It did everyone a lot of good. His best friend was Sebastian who apart from having his own demons about being uprooted at a vital age, losing his father at a young age, and being moved to the middle of a secluded mountain, new step-father, and new baby half-sister all at once….now lived in the basement of his mother’s house and somehow had this early 2000’s emo vibe to him always. A little sunshine on all  _ that _ shadow did him a lot of good. It was a  _ balance.  _

In fact this was one reason Riley became so attached to Sammy Sunshine. He balanced out all the darkness everywhere. He was someone who could make her smile after half her strawberries rotted with spring bugs, or bring over a movie and popcorn and every blanket he could spare in the middle of the winter when the tropical native was  _ way _ underprepared for snow.

He was  _ good _ for everyone he interacted with. 

So naturally after about a year of quickly becoming inseparable to the blonde goof, Riley found her feelings shifting towards the more romantic nature.

And that’s when she realized why Sammy Sunshine was always smiling so much.

Because deep down somewhere, amidst the hair gel and musical fingers Sam was  _ head-over-heels,  _ so far past the point of  _ no-return _ , whole-heartedly and completely  _ in love _ with his best friend.

Except it wasn’t  _ her. _

* * *

  
  


Riley stared at the ceiling as if it were a magic 8 ball, willing her answers to the universe’s secrets.

“Sam?” Her feet crossed, mismatched sock colors colliding and perched atop his headboard. Riley glanced at her feet a second just in time to notice chipped polish peeking out from torn cotton strands of her sock.

_ When did that get there? _

Sam made a noise but didn’t turn away from his screen until a loud buzzing erupted from the phone beside him. He glanced at the screen, read it for a second and then lit up.

“Hey, you wanna go to the Saloon tonight with Seb? Play some pool? Get our asses kicked again by Sebastian’s insane abilities?” Riley knew he was fishing for a snicker with that last comment.

This wasn’t new. In fact she’d even take a gander at calling it a slow emerging  _ tradition _ . Almost every Friday like clockwork they’d all meet up at the saloon, have some dinner — typically pizza — and play some pool or old-school arcade games. It was nice.

It was fun.

It gave her something to do.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Riley stared at the pale pink fleck of toe polish sticking out of the hole in her sock. From his desk, Sam eyeballed her wearily. 

“You okay?” He was being nice. He was always  _ nice.  _ That  _ nice _ was the reason she was drawn to him in the first place. Only a couple of days after moving to town when Riley had more blisters and sores than clean skin and had wandered to the saloon for food she didn’t need to grow or prepare herself. She’d sat at a table on her own, ordered a beer she barely looked old enough to indulge in and sat in silence eating.

And then Sam had wandered over, introduced himself and invited her to come play pool with he and his friends. The rest was  _ history. _

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she mumbled only half truthfully. Physically she was fine. She was healthy, the year’s profits gave her a healthy bank account to last her the winter. Things were going well. But these days of sitting around doing nothing brought to light what  _ was _ still missing in her life.

“Is Abigail coming too?”

There was a brief pause. When she’d first met Abigail and Sebastian everything was purely platonic. In fact, she’d actually thought for one hot minute that they were related the way they seemed to go so well together. 

But they were just friends at the time. Good friends, but  _ friends. _ Friends in the same way Sam and Sebastian were friends. Or the way she herself and Sam were friends. Sam, Sebastian,  _ and _ Abigail were like the three musketeers before Riley had arrived on scene.

And then out of the blue one day Sebastian and Abigail arrived at the saloon a lot more chummy and with a lot of uncharacteristic physical contact and it was clear as day that the two would-be outcasts were hooking up. Of course this only became more apparent when Sam dropped by early one weekend and found a half-dressed Abby in his best friend’s room.

“Probably.”  _ She was always around lately. _

Sam didn’t say the words but Riley could practically read them on his tongue. She frowned. She knew Sam had a big heart. When she’d first met him he had a skateboard in hand and a half empty can of Joja Cola in the other. She pegged him for the stereotypical skater-boy type. He even had the highly gelled hair in natural blonde to go with it.

But he wasn’t. He was a  _ really _ nice guy. Not even the fake  _ ‘I’m being nice to get in your pants,’ _ kind of nice, but the real,  _ ‘I don’t have any reason not to’ _ kind of whole-hearted  _ nice _ .

Sometimes Riley even wondered if things had been different, would she have ended up with him. Maybe she could one day stroll into the saloon with her arm around his, kiss after a toast, play footsie under the table, make promises with her eyes, and let him take her to bed at the end of the night. Maybe she would even marry him one day, have a couple of strawberry-blonde and blue-eyed babies. She could almost see it.

That  _ maybe _ was so promising that they even gave it a go once. They tried the relationship thing, and while there was never anything wrong with Sam there was also not a lot actually  _ right _ between them. He wasn’t bad at anything in particular. He was sweet. He was caring. He was the sunshine that kept the dark clouds at bay in her worst days and a laugh on her better days. But being in a relationship with him... _ kissing _ him, was a lot like trying to kiss her brother. It was weird. It didn’t spark anything other than  _ ‘this isn’t right,’  _ and it just didn’t click.

It took Riley a whole year to understand why. She  _ really  _ liked him. In fact she’d even gamble and say she  _ loved him _ . While she wasn’t necessarily  _ in love _ with him, she could be. He was attractive. Tall, lean, amazing body that was just a level or two of understated below Alex’s. And for every inch of beauty he had on the outside he had twice as much on the inside. He  _ could _ have been perfect for her. There was only one snag in that grand-ole’ plan.

Sam wasn’t in love with  _ her. _ And try as he might to will it on himself, he simply couldn’t. And the primary reason he  _ couldn’t  _ was because he was in love with someone else entirely. And Riley was pretty sure that he’d been in love with their particular individual way before she’d even moved into Stardew Valley.

“You need to tell Sebastian.” Sam immediately whipped around to his friend with as much of a lethal glare as he could muster. The look in his green eyes was almost frightening with its intensity.

“I’m not going to ruin this for Seb.” Sam’s voice was never harsh nor raised, but there was an edge to it at the moment that made his words cut through the air with dangerous precision. “He’s  _ happy. _ It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him so comfortable in his own skin.” Riley wasn’t sure ten layers of foundation to hide freckles and black hair dye to hide ginger counted as  _ ‘comfortable in your own skin,’ _ but it wasn’t the time to bring up that fact either.

_ Was he trying to convince  _ her _ of this, or himself? _

Riley felt her face fall with the swallowing of her own heart.  _ But what about your happiness?  _ She wanted to ask him the words out loud, but she didn’t.

“Besides,” he turned back to his computer. “I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship with this. He’s been my best friend since my mom moved us here when we were little kids. We’ve been through a lot together. He knows me better than anyone else and I don’t want to risk that for a whim.”

_ A whim. _

“You risked it with us,” she countered. Riley studied her friend from her reclined position. Even upside down and turned around she could see the shift of weight in his shoulders and body language. Her ray of sunshine was being eclipsed by a dark cloud. It saddened her to think that one thing Sam wanted most in the world he’d already written off as unattainable or worse,  _ “a whim.” _

“That was different.” Sam’s voice was a lot quieter. He picked at his fingers and tried to look as if that was stealing all his attention. But Riley saw the fractional shift of his eyes. “You were different and I knew you loved me too.”

_ But I wasn’t the friend you were in love with. _

She wanted to say it. She really did. But Riley couldn’t bring herself to do it. Seeing her dearest friend with that look of hurt just made her swallow the thoughts all at once and relinquish them into hiding for the time being.

“Let’s just go meet up with them.” Riley pulled her legs down and sat up with a spin of her head. “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen them anyways. Maybe things have changed.” She put on the best smile she could muster.

If only she knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoying the story? Connect with me and other readers at my very own Discord server! https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	2. Bad Omens are Much Too Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail has a problem. A very big problem.
> 
> Riley goes out on a limb to help her friend. But when her less-than-master plan backfires in the worst way possible, the new farmer finds herself in an embarrassing situation -- and at the mercy of one person she never expected to ask for help...

**Chapter 2:** **Bad Omens are Much Too Quiet**

* * *

When Riley and Sam walked into the Stardrop Saloon it was already booming with life like any other Friday afternoon. Gus and Emily were working the bar, the first staying put for the most part, forcing the latter of the two to do most of the work waiting tables, serving drinks, and taking orders. Despite the bitter cold brewing outside as the threat of a first snowfall loomed, it was warm in the Saloon. 

“Emily!” She waved her hello to the young woman who glanced up, smiled seeing Riley, and then motioned that she’d be with them in a moment.

Sam maneuvered his way through the tables with Riley following in his wake. Riley smiled as she passed friendly and indifferent faces, taking note of Marnie and Lewis at one table, and Clint with rosy cheeks and eyes locked on Emily as she served back and forth behind the bar. 

Riley finally made it to the back room where the pool tables awaited attention just as Sam greeted their friends.

She knew immediately something was wrong. Sebastian had a hollow expression that wasn’t too strange for his bad days but seemed off considering how happy he’d been the past couple of weeks. But it wasn’t Sebastian that sent off red sirens as soon as Riley entered the room.

Abigail was leaning against the pool table, just a foot away from Sebastian but somehow looking like she may as well have been on a different planet. Her eyes looked a little puffy, her hair was slightly mussed and she looked like she hadn’t slept in a while. 

“Abigail?” As soon as Riley said her name Abigail lifted herself off the table, grabbed the older woman’s arm and muttered something about “girl talk” to the boys before yanking Riley with impressive force towards the women’s restroom.

The violet-haired woman blundered into the room with a boom of the door then proceeded to peek below each stall until being reassured no one else was in the restroom. Only once she was certain they were alone did she face Riley who sat patiently against a sink for whatever she had to say.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

The room dropped ten degrees just with those four words. Riley’s eyes widened, her mouth went slack and Abigail shrunk three inches in height. “I don’t know what to do.”

Riley wanted to help. She wanted to give her friend some reassurance, some golden advice to make it better, but the only words that could tumble out of her mouth were _“how?”_

Abigail groaned loudly, threw her hands in the air then covered her face.

“This is such a fucking disaster.”

And then she started to cry.

Riley felt even more uncomfortable if possible. 

_Poor Sam._

Almost as soon as the words drifted to her subconscious she felt horrible shame thinking them.

“I’ve fucked it all up.” Abigail’s voice was harsh and shaken and very clearly as disastrous as the rest of her seemed to be. 

Riley walked over to her, still not certain what to do but figuring anything was better than just sitting there stupidly. As soon as she reached a hand out to her friend however, Abigail pushed her away and just whined even louder. 

“I had to fuck this all up.” She was red in the face and quickly escalating and it dawned on Riley only then that maybe she should have locked the bathroom door behind them.

“You know, I’ve been pegging for Sebastian for so long and we finally got together and the sex was _awesome,_ but I can’t get birth control in this fucking town where everyone knows everything and Sebastian couldn’t buy condoms without his own _mother_ finding out by the time he gets home, but I found some in the bathroom and I thought _‘hey, it’s better than nothing,’_ and so we did it and it was _great_ and so good and then…” Abigail covered her eyes with her hands as if that would magically cover this epic disaster she had brewed. She took a watery breath and gasp before continuing.

_“And then the condom broke.”_

Riley felt her breath catch in her throat. The thought of Abigail pregnant? With _Sebastian’s_ child? The _two_ of them? She couldn’t see it. Not initially.

Then she couldn’t _un_ see it.

_Sam was going to be heartbroken._

“Riley,” never had she heard the young woman sound so frail. “ _I don’t know what to do.”_

Riley wanted to help. Never had she seen the daughter of Pierre and Caroline look so small, so frightened, or in essence so _young._

The bathroom door suddenly opened and a loud and stumbling Pam managed to bump her way in, pass right by Riley without even noticing her presence and into a stall. Abigail’s eyes stayed watery and pink but she kept her voice as low as possible.

It was sad.

She looked so pitiful just sitting there. She looked like a little girl who’s world was falling apart at the seams and unraveled like a badly sewn art project; like her sock with the hole in it.

And Riley, the woman who had the maternal instinct of a crab and generally lived her life in solitude or in the presence of purely platonic friendships decided if there was ever a day to go out on a limb for a friend, now was the time.

“Have you taken a test yet?” Riley asked low as soon as the sound of a flushing toilet blocked anyone from hearing her words besides Abigail.

But the question made _horror_ pass across Abigail’s deface and it was answer enough for Riley. 

Pam walked out of the stall just narrowly missing toppling into Riley as she stumbled to the sinks and bubbled up in drunken humor.

“Ah, Riley! I didn’t see you.” She finished washing her hands and without even turning off the faucet or noticing the younger, distraught woman in the room turned to the door and left.

“ _I don’t know what to do.”_ She repeated in the tiniest voice possible. That much was clear just by the repetition of such a fact.

But Riley has always been a problem solver. A problem solver and a planner. And right now her friend needed a plan to get her problem solved. But before she could even do that, they needed to know if there even _was_ a problem yet.

“I’m going to run to the store.” Riley made for the door but paused before opening it. “Go get something to drink and don’t use the toilet till I get back.”

And that’s how Riley Peters found herself running to Joja Mart to buy a pregnancy test.

Now thinking about it, she should have taken the hole in her sock as an indication of what kind of day she was going to have.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Riley’s heart was pounding much more vigorously than she should have. There was a grand ole’ mess of emotions going through her head and thoughts both ugly and scary that she mentally all pushed to the back of her mind because right now she just needed to focus on getting to Joja Mart undetected and smuggle out a pregnancy test without anyone in town finding out.

It only dawned on her about halfway down to the store that this grand plan of hers entailed that she would actually have to _steal_ the pregnancy test.

Just that fact alone made her pulse even more static, skin clammy, and a horrible nausea start in her stomach. She felt like she was going to puke.

Not many people were out 6pm on a Friday night, and the first few flakes of snow were beginning to fall from the sky, threatening Riley with the impending freeze of winter.

Riley pushed the doors open to Joja Mart with more enthusiasm than necessary, making everyone stare as soon as she made her entrance.

_Smooth._

_Great job staying hidden, Peters._

She smiled meekly, quietly took a flier then tried her damndest not to let the sweat of her anxiety drip down her face as she carefully made her way towards the drug aisle and out of view. 

As soon as she was behind a shelf taller than her and out of the eyesight of anyone else, Riley finally managed to breathe. Her lungs burned slightly and her head was dizzy and the pit in her stomach felt somewhere between a low heartburn and the aches of a need to vomit.

 _Those fucking nerves_.

She pressed on, passing the foot supports and braces, grabbing a box of bandages so she wouldn’t be empty handed, then turning into the _‘family planning’_ area and feeling her stomach flip again.

_Keep your shit together._

Condoms, KY, and some products that would make her blush if she wasn’t already ready to pass out littered the shelves. Riley looked around, wondered for the first time in... _ever_ why there were so many brands of condoms before she finally spotted that tiny pink and purple box and grabbed it as if the carton alone would burn her.

“Five minute pregnancy test.”

Perfect. Riley stuffed the box into her jacket, stood up at an inglorious speed and turned to make a dash out the door…

And collided with a rather hot and solid body.

“What the fuck!”

But it was too late for anything to be said that could really have any effect because Riley was a jumbled up mess of anxiety and that solid form she’d rammed into was very clearly much stronger than she and without so much as a waiver when she hit, sent her falling backgrounds into the ground with a loud tumble of cartons and several boxes of condoms and lubricants clattering to the ground around her — including the pregnancy test flying out of her coat pocket.

Riley froze. Her elbow was on fire, her ass was sore from all the weight she registered landing on her backside, and _fuck,_ something sharp was under her thigh. But Riley was frozen because a man was staring at her dumbfounded, wearing a Joja Mart jacket and hat and for a long second Riley was almost sure it was Morris, the store manager.

Except it wasn’t. At second glance Riley made that discovery very quickly.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

She knew this man. He was Marnie’s nephew (she thought.) Shawn maybe? No, no, _Shane_ . She was pretty sure his name was _Shane_. 

Except right now it barely mattered what his name was because he was staring at her, catching her red-handed with stolen merchandise in her coat and more boxes of condoms and lube than she’d ever need in a lifetime scattered around her like candy from a piñata, and looking exceptionally _pissed off._

“I-I…” Riley’s voice stuttered and then she swallowed so hard it physically hurt.

This was _bad._ This was so many shades of bad she was certain she needed a whole paint aisle of swatches just to cover how many colors of _fucking bad_ this was.

_This is where I die._

Except she didn’t die. At least she wasn’t yet and Shane was quickly losing the very little patience he had and a breath away from just calling Morris over and having him deal with this mess because his shift was over more than an hour ago and the only reason he was here in the first place was because he’d stupidly forgotten his wallet in his locker and had to go back to retrieve it.

But now his ten seconds of patience had expired and Shane gave a disgusted grunt of annoyance and turned to leave and Riley could see the entire town talking about how she’d gotten caught stealing a pregnancy test and, _fuck._

 _“Wait!”_ She’d meant to shout the word but instead it had come out as a squeak that only made her predicament even more embarrassing which was hard to imagine given that she was lying in a pile of condoms.

Shane kept walking though and Riley swallowed the pain of her elbow to the back of her mind and rushed to get up as quickly as she could. He was already halfway down the next aisle and practically fuming in annoyance when she reached him and grabbed his arm.

“What do you want?” He ripped his arm from her reach as if she burned him by touching him. “I’m busy, leave me alone.” He turned to continue on down the aisle but Riley had long surpassed rational thought and was now functioning on survival instincts to get through this ordeal without either the whole town knowing or being arrested for shoplifting.

“I wasn’t stealing, I swear!”

Shane looked unconvinced and made a sound.

But to both of their surprises, he hesitated.

“I swear, I was just trying to get what I needed and get out of the store without half of Pelican Town knowing by the time I make it back to the Saloon.”

It wasn’t a lie. She was only leaving out the part about the pregnancy test not even being for her but she really didn’t think at this point it would do her any good to bring down Abigail in this sinking ship with her.

Shane only looked more annoyed if anything and yet something held him in place and he wasn’t sure why.

He shouldn’t care.

Hell, he shouldn’t even have _been_ here. What fucks did he give if this stupid farmer was trying to steal…

He only noticed right then what she was trying to steal.

 _Farmer’s got herself knocked up?_ _Oh shit._ It made so much sense now. 

Shane groaned loudly and rubbed his tired eyes roughly with his hands. Of all the nights for this shitty encounter..

“I just don’t want the whole town to know, I _swear_ I was going to pay for it, I just…” 

Riley’s voice broke and she felt her resolve quickly crumbling and knew if she said anything else she’d either burst into tears or self combust.

Shane glanced at her once more and grimaced. She looked so stupid in front of him, scared and nervous like a child being caught stealing candy by her school principle. 

He shouldn’t care. He really shouldn’t have cared at all, waltzed right out of that situation and continued on to the saloon to drink until this whole day’s events disappeared from his memory.

But he couldn’t.

Shane took one more look at the pitiful woman’s young face and felt something fracture inside him. 

Without another word he grabbed the box out of her hands and shoved it in his own pocket and quickly started walking down the aisle.

Riley watched in startle, fear, and some bewilderment as he briskly made it the entire length of the aisle before turning to give her an impatience growl and beckoning her to follow. She wasn’t sure what was happening but she wasn’t a woman to question good fortune so Riley scrambled up to her feet, winced at the swelling she knew was blossoming in her elbow and quickly caught up with Shane.

Shane went the rest of the way through the store and out the door and didn’t stop until they were only a handful of steps out of the Saloon and away from any prying eyes, eclipsed by the darkening sunset and wisps of snow flakes falling from the sky. He took the half crushed box out of his pocket and offered it to her without a word.

Riley stared. She just stood there in silence and stupidly stared at the box, brain not computing what was happening, only further pissing off the man who might have just saved her a lifetime of embarrassment.

“Are you just going to stare at it or take it?”

His gruff voice finally snapped her attention and Riley quickly grabbed the box. No sooner had she shoved the stolen goods in her own pockets that Shane had made it into the Saloon and left the door to close behind them.

And like that Riley Peters was left alone.

Standing in the first snow of the season.

Staring at the Stardrop Saloon’s door with a pregnancy test in her pocket and wondering _what the hell just happened?_

She really _should_ have taken that hole in her sock as a warning and stayed in tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's like four lines of this that just made me laugh so hard, I had to share it with friends that never even heard of Stardew Valley. And unsurprisingly, meeting a romantic interest while sitting in a piñata of condoms also made them laugh.
> 
> So I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Prepare yourselves, lovelies! Things are about to get SO much worse...
> 
> As always, leave me love and ask me a question if you'd like!  
> (Really. I mean it. I'm communication starved and I thrive from comments and knowing I'm not the only one enjoying these stories.)
> 
> \- Digs
> 
> Enjoying the story? Connect with me and other readers at my very own Discord server! https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	3. Tequila is a Cheap Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't need your cheap shots for sympathy."
> 
> “It’s a thank you,” she muttered, much lower than she should have. She looked up mentally prepared to be assaulted with a crippling glare by one of the most sour residents of Pelican town and something very strange happened.
> 
> He had green eyes,
> 
> And she forgot how to breathe.

**Chapter 3:** **Tequila is a Cheap Shot**

* * *

Riley wasn’t sure how it happened because all the details kind of blurred together. Somehow she had managed to get her composure long enough to shove the pregnancy test into her pocket, walk into the saloon, and wander back to the bathrooms without even noticing Sam calling her name in the background.

And now here she was, sitting cross-legged on the bathroom floor, door properly locked this time around and Abigail in the stall trying to pee on a tiny stick like her life depended on it.

Riley felt nauseated. She wasn’t the one who was potentially pregnant and yet she felt like she was going to puke. 

She buried her face in her hands and felt the urge to laugh maniacally but chose instead to bring up her knees and hug them close like a tiny child who couldn’t process everything going on.

_Like she wasn’t almost thirty and more than capable of dealing with this shit._

It wasn’t even _her_ that was potentially pregnant. 

I mean _Riley_ was old enough for such a thing but Abigail was barely old enough to drink and still finishing her undergrad and just wasn’t in the right place in her life for all this to potential fuck it up. Riley would have been _much_ better suited for this.

And yet the thought...

_Her? Pregnant?_

What a thought. The closest thing she’d even had to having sex with a man in the past year was Sam...and Yoba knew how _that_ ended up.

And even before then she hadn’t been with a man in…

Actually when _was_ the last time? How sad was it that she barely remembered? It had been so long and yet she hadn’t actually thought about it much and she was fairly certain that somehow that had made it even worse.

The flushing of a toilet broke the silence of the room like a bomb going off and Riley looked up just as Abigail slowly walked out of the stall, pale and shaken and eyes teary, red, and puffy. 

“Riley I don’t know what I’m going to do if…” Abigail didn’t finish the sentence without her lip starting to quiver and eyes getting watery.

Riley felt bad for her and yet she didn’t stand to comfort her and instead gave her quiet sympathy. She was tired, her elbow now was beginning to hurt like a bitch to the point where she didn’t want to move it and there really wasn’t anything she could do for Abigail than wait for her five minutes to be up.

From inside her pocket, her phone buzzed quietly with an incoming message. Riley did her best to retrieve the phone with her one good arm and felt her heart sink seeing Sam’s name pop up.

_What’s wrong with Abigail? Sebastian won’t tell me anything._

Riley’s heart fell even further and the pit in her stomach deepened. 

_How do you tell your best friend the person he’s in love with may possibly be about to have a child with someone else?_

Fuck. Even thinking it made it worse. 

“Two minutes,” Abigail spoke meekly while glancing at her phone for time. 

_Yoba._

She needed a drink after this.

The strangest thing happened the instant Riley Peters thought of those words. A face flashed in her mind and it wasn’t Abigail, or Sebastian, or even Sam’s.

_Shane._

His face came to her mind all at once and without warning and Riley felt like time slowed down for a minute. 

He could have ratted her out. He could have turned her into Morris and had her arrested for shoplifting or forced everyone in the store to find out _what_ she’d been trying to lift and ratted her out to the entirety of Pelican Town. By Monday morning she’d be getting baby shower gifts.

But he didn’t. She hadn’t said two words to Shane since moving into town other than a quiet ‘Hello’ once that he’d quickly blew off and yet he’d shoplifted a pregnancy test for her, didn’t say anything and…

Oh shit.

Actually she didn’t even _know_ if he was going to tell anyone yet. He was in that bar right now, drinking away and possibly one beer away from spilling the beans to all of Pelican Town that Riley Peters was-

“Holy fuck!” Abigail’s abrupt burst shattered Riley’s inner monologue so harshly, she nearly got whiplash from her eyes snapping to Abigail. But that thought in itself evaporated because the instant Riley saw the utter _relief_ flood Abigail’s face, she didn’t even need to ask what result was on the test.

“It’s negative!”

The relief in the room was like a tsunami hitting the pier. It washed over Riley easing one of her worries and completely changed Abigail’s entire outlook as if she’d just earned 18 years of freedom. Like that, the suffocating tension just washed away like debris on the beach.

“Thank Yoba,” she dropped her head into her arm on the sink and took a deep breath as if she hadn’t all night. “I swear I’ll never sleep with him again.”

Riley cocked an eyebrow and pursed her lip knowing full well the likelihood of such promises being kept was about as likely as her promising to give up solid food.

But she wasn’t about to belittle her friend. Not now after everything she’d been through. 

After everything _Riley_ had been through.

Which reminded her…

“You know what?” Riley stood carefully, wincing as she shifted her elbow and noting not for the first time that she really might have done some damage there but choosing not give it any attention yet. “I need a drink.”

Abigail, still flushed on the bliss of relief, was washing her face and trying to wipe away her ruined mascara and puffy red in her eyes and motioned her thanks once more as Riley finally unlocked the women’s room door and made her exit. Just outside Sebastian stood looking every second as sick to his stomachs with nerves as Abigail had been only moments before and Sam confused behind him.

“I think Abigail has something to tell you in there,” Riley motioned to Sebastian and he didn’t even question wandering into the ladies’ room before disappearing inside and leaving Riley alone with a still rather clueless Sam.

Poor Sam. Her poor Sammy Sunshine. She felt pity knowing he was in love with someone he didn’t think he could ever have and that made her even more sad when she had pondered the possibility of Abigail being pregnant with Sebastian’s child.

“What the hell is going on?” Sam asked, looking as if he missed some big sign when he wasn’t paying attention. Riley smiled, his sincerity and warmth just making it better and worse all at the same time and rather than answer him verbally pulled him in for a hug and let him hold her close.

And he did. Sam hugged her close and warm until Riley felt like a little bit of his sunshine was soaking in through her skin. It seemed to ease her anxieties a bit and for the first time that night she actually felt as if she wasn’t suffocating.

“Are _you_ okay?” Sam whispered much more softly this time. He touched her elbow accidentally and felt her flinch with a low hiss and knew now more than ever he’d clearly missed out on something. Riley hugged him just a little closer and finally exhaled the long breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

_My poor Sammy Sunshine, who deserves his own sunshine._

He let her go quietly but the sad smile Riley wore when they separated clearly made him uneasy as evident in his expression.

“I think it’s best if maybe we see if Sebastian or Abigail wants to tell you what’s going on before I do.”

They were best friends and she knew if no one else did it, she’d eventually tell him what had happened that night, painful as it would be to see him hurt over it. But first she wanted to give Abigail and Sebastian a chance to do it. Maybe they’d ease the burden a bit if they admitted how badly they’d fucked up.

She also wanted to get a drink. She really needed one after all that. And ice for her elbow. Now that things were calmed and Sam was around her it was starting to throb painfully. 

Luckily alcohol could also help with that.

After proclaiming her intentions to be numbed in some sensory clouding, Riley left Sam at the pool table and made her way towards the bar just as Sebastian emerged out of the women’s restroom and nodded to her a silent thanks. The saloon was much busier now, everyone who drank standing and crowding near the bar, and everyone who didn’t or already had enough, sitting at the small tables scattered around. 

Or fast asleep over the table in the case of Pam.

Gus was mixing drinks and serving them and Emily flashed a brilliant smile as Riley made her way through the booming crowd and finally made it to the bar.

“Hey Emily, can I get pizza for the pool room, a shot of your cheapest tequila and a bag of ice please?”

Emily made a face at the odd request but once glancing down at the young farmer’s injury quickly put some of the puzzle together and went to fulfilling the order. Riley watched her grab a plastic bag from underneath the bar and begin scooping in some crushed ice. The wonderful woman then took the extra step to close off the bag with a rubber band and set it down on the counter for Riley, followed by a shot glass. 

“You know, if you drink too much it’ll cut the effect of any painkillers you try to take later.” Despite her warning she filled the glass to brim with the cold golden liquid and plopped a wedge of lime on a napkin beside it.

“Your energy is all over the place, Riley. This one's on the house tonight.”

Riley _really_ didn’t deserve this tiny town’s kindness. Still she was grateful beyond measure for wonderful people like Emily and Sam and brought the glass closer to her with a thankful smile.

“Bottoms up, farmer!"

The shot burned all the way down but Riley chased it with the wedge of lime and the combination of the two seemed to ease the sting of liquor and make its effects seem to deep into her soul even quicker.

“Thanks,” she finally gasped out with the clink of the now empty shot glass on the counter.

“Want another?” Emily offered with the bottle still in hand. Riley shook her head, still sucking on that like a child and Emily began putting the bottle back up on the shelf when a voice popped up.

“Should you be drinking in your situation?”

It was like a switch going off. Even with a shot quickly dissipating some of the tension in her head, the moment that voice spoke up Riley Peters felt all that anxiety from before flood back and overwhelmed her until it was hard to breathe.

Shane was _right_ there. Tucked away against the wall, a beer mug in his hand, slightly rosy tint to his cheeks telling her it probably wasn’t his first nor his second. 

She wanted to explain everything to him. She also wanted to thank him. In fact she had about ten things she wanted to say to him right then in there but her brain was short circuiting and whether it was the pain in her elbow, lack of food in her stomach, stress of _everything_ that had just happened or the cheap shot of tequila going down...the only words that managed to come out were:

“It wasn’t for _me.”_

_Smooth._

Shane caught her eye and for an instant Riley thought he was going to come over and start up more conversation. Instead he shrugged, made an uncaring face and turned his attention back to the bottom of his mug.

 _Asshole_.

Well, asshole or not he had helped her out and she was thankful for him committing a petty crime for her and saving her crippling embarrassment that would potentially keep her locked up the rest of winter.

She turned back to Emily who had a weird smirk on her face but didn’t say anything.

“Actually get _him_ one too and put it on my tab.” She turned to leave and to her shock an arm reached out for her.

“I don’t need your cheap shots for sympathy,” Shane’s voice was rough like sandpaper and his balance was just _barely_ off. Riley didn’t really think he needed any more shots, period. But that rebuttal took more mental capacity than she had left for tonight and she didn’t have much energy left to argue either.

“It’s a _thank you_ ,” she muttered, much lower than she should have. She looked up mentally prepared to be assaulted with a crippling glare by one of the most sour residents of Pelican town and something very strange happened.

He had _green_ eyes. 

Pale blue-green like a pond in spring, vivid and blooming with life and full of _something_ that just seemed to hide beneath the surface. And the longer Riley stared into those eyes the weaker her legs seemed to get and more her head seemed to spin and it didn’t register that she had forgotten to breathe because _something_ kept her staring. 

But it didn’t keep Shane, and instead of staying eye locked with the farmer for the rest of the night he simply maneuvered around her, grabbed the shot with one hand, downed it with _barely_ a wince and then shrugged.

“Buh, whatever,” and he retreated back to his corner.

Riley’s heart was beating fast and she felt clammy. Like her entire center of gravity had shifted and she was failing to stay on her feet.

But rather than focus on _what the fuck just happened_ , she put one foot in front of the other and made her way back to the pool room.

Her friends were waiting.

Yeah, that was _exactly_ why she was retreating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every good romance needs a good start, right? Hopefully this fulfilled that!
> 
> Leave me some love! Do you like whats happening so far? How do you think Riley and Shane will ever warm up to one another. Will poor Sam ever find happiness, or are you more team Sebastian/Abigail? (Can you tell who Sam is in love with? I thought it was obvious but there seems to be some mixed opinions floating around!)
> 
> \- Diggy  
> Enjoying the story? Connect with me and other readers at my very own Discord server! https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	4. One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley experiences the "tequilapocalypse" and barely remembers the previous evening with Shane.
> 
> Lucky for her, she has a very good friend who's more than eager to fill in some of the pieces...

**Chapter 4: One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!**

* * *

The sun was shining in through the window curtains when Riley started to come to the next morning. She plopped one eye open, felt all of the weight of the sky come crashing down on her skull all at once immediately closed the eye again with a loud and ungraceful groan.

_ Fuck. _

What did she  _ drink _ last night? Or how  _ much _ of it had she drank, anyways? 

Her head hurt, her eyes throbbed, she had a sharp pain in her elbow, and her throat was sour and dry and tasted oddly of vomit and tequila and... _ fuck. _

They say being drunk is temporary but by Yoba, it hits you worse the following morning than it did the night before and right now she felt as if death itself were wrapped around her like a tortilla on a burrito.

A rotten, dry, sitting-in-the-sun-all-summer, moldy,  _ green _ burrito.

That had been drowned in tequila. Repeatedly.

From off to the side she felt the brief vibration of her phone buzzing but she didn’t even  _ dare _ try to read a text on a brightly lit cellphone screen when she felt like she was dying. Not yet anyways.

She grabbed the nearest fabric around her, threw it over her eyes and figured it was winter so there wasn’t much watering, sewing, or harvesting waiting on her to get up too quickly.

She breathed.

Hmm. This... _ thing _ smelled like...sweat...grass...cigarette smoke...and moldy beer.

With a disgruntled moan of annoyance, Riley quickly ripped the smelly fabric from her face and hurled it away with as much force as she could possibly muster in her excessively hung-over state. She quickly replaced the smelly fabric with her one good arm and without much further thought, willed herself a few more minutes of rest.

From outside, snow was beginning to cover the earth like a thin sheet of powdered sugar on a dessert. The wind blew softly, not enough to do any real damage but just enough to whistle between loose roof tiles and make a sound that didn’t let Riley get any more sleep.

She cracked an eye once more and sure enough the whole world spun and burned and seemed to crash down on her like a nuclear warhead sent out by the tequila army.

But after a moment of physical agony and disgust...it calmed. Her head still hurt, her own inner thoughts were still  _ way _ too loud but her head seemed to spin a little less and settle down enough to at least clear her vision.

She was in her room.  _ Good.  _ I mean it wasn’t like she really expected to have woken up in anyone else's room unless she’d ended up crashing at Sam’s but she figured the fact that an eight-year-old didn’t barrel into the room at the ass-crack of dawn pretty much threw that possibility off the field.

Nope. There wasn’t really anywhere else she could have woken up. Not in a town where she knew everyone and anyone worthwhile was either hooking up with someone else or deeply in love with their unattainable best friend.

Who wasn’t her. Never her.

Riley groaned and flipped on her stomach. Everything spun and she could taste the bile building up in her stomach and threatening to erupt out of her throat like some volcanic eruption. Even her teeth seemed to throb with the ache in her brain, a dull pulse like a quiet drum beat.

She breathed slowly and evenly, letting it settle before she tried any other movement and that seemed to appease the foul gods playing volleyball with her stomach.

Yoba,  _ why… _

She peeked out her eye again and it was mildly better the third time around.

Rosie lay in her bed in the far off corner, her blanket half covering her but her bushy tail sticking out the end with her ass in the cold air in the same way she slept every night and always made Riley laugh. 

The sun was  _ definitely _ bright out, and judging by the lack of frost on her windows’ glass panels, it was probably hitting mid-day soon,

Great.

_ Awesome. _

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Something blue caught her eye. It was crumpled up in the corner of her room, laying on the floor against the wall like discarded trash or dirty laundry after a midnight tryst. Riley starred at it, not really thinking too hard about what it even was or what significance it held for longer than she should have.

Something tickled the back of her mind. She wasn’t sure what it was but there was  _ something _ hidden in the fog of tequila and bad memories of the night before trying to claw its way to the surface of her subconscious. She could just barely feel it. Some far off memory she could grasp but New was going to surface any moment now...

The image of green eyes materialized in her mind Riley’s eyes widened.

Oh  _ shit. _

That was a jacket. Not even just any jacket. 

Not  _ her _ jacket. 

Not  _ Sam’s _ jacket. 

That was  _ Shane’s _ ratty old Joja Mart jacket. The one she’d seen him wear every single day since she’d moved to Pelican Town two years ago. The one he’d let her borrow last night when...

The memories finally started to fall together like jigsaw pieces.

Tequila shot.

She bought him a tequila shot and he made her feel shitty for it. So she went to eat pizza with Sam and Sebastian and Abigail who thankfully was  _ not _ pregnant.

But he was still there when she went to pay before leaving and his eyes were much less chained this time around and…. _ fuck. _

_ Those  _ green _ eyes.  _

He’d said something, she didn’t remember what but then she was sitting with him and having another shot.

And one more shot turned into two more shots.

It was like that college song.

_ One tequila, _

_ Two tequila. _

_ Three tequila, _

_ Floor! _

_ Fuck. How many had she  _ actually _ drank? _

It was all so fuzzy after that. It was like she was trying to see herself through a foggy, dirty window that she could barely make out shapes through. 

A flash of goosebumps.  _ It was cold? Yes, she remembered being outside and it was cold and she...she didn’t have her coat? _

Shane’s jacket on her shoulders.  _ Somehow she’d gotten Shane’s jacket. _

Grass under her toes…

_ She was barefoot? No, no. That didn’t make any sense. _

Water. Dark and cold beneath her toes, wooden planks under her thighs…

_ The dock in Cinder Snap forest. _

None of this made sense. She remembered the Saloon, and Sam, and somehow ending up in Shane’s jacket but the rest was all… _ muddled snapshots. _

Her phone buzzed again and Riley groaned loudly in annoyance before reaching for it under her pillow.

_ Yoba, why was the light so fucking bright? _

Sam’s name was clear as day on the screen. It wasn’t unusual; those three letters that made up his name were a frequent feature on her notifications. What was unusual was...15 missed text messages and four calls between last night and this morning.

Sam at 9:42:06pm

Where did you go?

Sam at 9:58:47pm 

Are you sure you’re going to be okay with Shane?

I’m going home.

Sam at 10:26:19pm

Riley please text me. I need to know you’re okay and made it home in one piece.

10:28:43pm

_ one missed call from Sam: mobile _

10:31:12pm

_ one missed call from Sam: mobile _

Sam at 11:48:32pm

Riley Peters my moms going to kill me if I get caught sneaking out again

12:00:47am

_ one missed call from Sam: mobile _

12:02:15am

_ one missed call from Sam: mobile _

Sam at 12:03:29am

Riley I don’t even have a car and it’s freakin cold

_ 12:17:26am _

_ one missed call Jodie: home _

Sam at 12:29:13am

you left your front door unlocked

Sam at 12:32:26am

Rosie is not impressed with your display

shes mad I had to leave so I gave her a biscuit

moms gonna kill me for this

08:56:14am

you owe me pizza the rest of winter for the shit you pulled last night

09:36:52am

Sebastian told me about the pregnancy scare

and everything you did last night

I’m coming over after I drop off Vincent

_ Shit. _

It was bad. So very, very bad, it almost put the whole fiasco with the condoms and pregnancy test shoplifting in the  _ ‘Okay’ _ category by comparison.

Riley groaned loudly with the memories of  _ that _ finally making an appearance at the top of her mind and felt like if ever there was a time to sink into her pillows and simply disappear, this was probably it.

_ So long, Pelican Town. Nice knowing you. _

The front door opened and Sam didn’t have to call out for Riley to know it was him because almost as soon as she heard the door so did Rosie and Rosie was  _ very _ good at communicating.

“Rosie! Good girl, how’s your mama doing? Do you need to go outside, pretty girl?” Riley could hear Sam’s chipper voice all the way from her bedroom and pressed the pillows tighter around her ears.

_ Maybe if she suffocated by accident, everyone would just forget about everything and this hangover would just cease to exist. _

The front door opened once more, Rosie’s barks echoed from outside, the door closed, footsteps, and then her bedroom door was pushed open.

“Good morning, Sunshine!”

Just the sound of Sam’s over enthusiastic and exceptionally loud voice made Riley sick to her stomach.

But Sam wasn’t having it, and whether or not he found out all the shit that happened the night before, he still was going to make her pay for the likely  _ weeks _ of scorn he was going to have to endure from his overbearing mother.

Sam took three long steps closer and then without so much as a warning threw himself into the air...and heavily flopped onto the bed beside the extremely hungover 28-year-old.

“Fuck!” Riley protested loudly as she bounced with the impact of all six-foot and one-inch of blonde and hair gel hitting the cheap mattress. It felt as if all her insides had been thrown around too, like cargo on a plane that had just hit turbulence.

Sam laughed and made himself comfortable but didn’t say anything right away.

He was thinking. 

Riley could hear his breathing and feel the warmth radiating off of him and if she weren’t in so much agony, she probably would have snuggled into him like she had countless times before. 

But she didn’t. Because everything hurt and just the sound of Rosie’s barks outside her bedroom window sounded like bombs on the roof and there was just too much input all coming in at once.  _ She just wanted silence. _

Plus, if Sam wasn’t saying anything...it was because he was thinking, processing, and probably needed the silence too.

They laid there without speaking for some time. Sam on his back with his arms crossed behind his head, and Riley curled into a tight coil looking like she’d tangoed with death and barely made it out alive.

But eventually silence itself becomes deafening and Sam was never good at showing much restraint.

“I was really worried about you last night.” His voice was sure and strong but Riley was thankful he wasn’t his loud, energetic bubbly self as per usual this time around. Still, she listened to his words and it made guilt settle in her core because she knew more than ever  _ she probably didn’t deserve a friend like him _ .

“I don’t know how much you remember so I figure a recap will clarify.” He shifted his weight and though Riley didn’t move to check her prediction she was fairly certain he was watching her now. 

“You left to pay for the food and drinks, and then you just  _ didn’t  _ come back.”

She felt guilt creeping into her skin but let her friend continue.

“So then when I went to look for you — you know, to make sure you weren’t abducted by some UFO or something — and you were with Shane. And I don’t really know why because I didn’t even know you talked to Shane...like,  _ ever.”  _ Now that Sam thought about it, he didn’t even know if Riley knew Shane’s name before last night. “But you were very clearly drinking and you didn’t want to go home yet and I didn’t want to leave you but you kept insisting that you would be fine and I had to go take  _ ‘myself to bed to get my beauty sleep _ ,’ as you so lovingly said.”

Yep. The guilt was definitely real. If Riley weren’t already suffering from the aftermath of a tequilapocalypse, she would have winced.

“Anyways,” Sam continued the recap. “I left you there, Shane said he’d walk you home since it wasn’t far from the ranch anyways, and you told me you’d text me when you got home.” Sam paused. “Except then you never did, and it was getting later, and later, and if you went through the forest you should have passed my window on the way but you didn’t and I was stuck at home and you wouldn’t answer your phone so eventually I snuck out and by the time I made it to your house — in the freezing cold, by the way,” he made extra emphasis on that detail in particular. “you were out  _ cold _ in bed still fully dressed, without any shoes or socks and in Shane’s jacket.” He took a breath. “By the way, Emily said you left your coat at the saloon.”

It was a lot of information all at once. No shoes. Shane’s jacket. So many unanswered questions.

“I don’t know what happened to your shoes though. You’re on your own with that one. I just wanted to make sure you made it home.”

Riley’s voice was so minuscule and muffled by the pillows and blankets Sam had to strain himself to hear.

“Hmm?” He spoke out loud, fishing for clarification. “I couldn’t hear you.”

Her throat was sandpaper and she tasted like vomit and tequila but Riley mustered enough energy to spit it out once more.

“ _ Thank you.” _

It wasn’t really enough to clearly define how grateful she was for everything he’d done for her, but it was a start.

Riley finally turned over to her other side and sure enough Sam met her eye the moment she did. He was facing her with a solemn expression and now that she was facing him too, she got a moment to register it.

He looked...lost. Maybe a little sad. The reason behind the previous night's events wafted over her thoughts and she came to recognize the look in his eyes.

He looked heart-broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to keep you all posted: I just wrapped up chapter 6. It took a while. I mean I wrote chapters 1-3 AND the epilogue in about 24 hours. Spent about the next 48 hours writing chapters 4, 5, and the last chapter. And THEN I spent about 4 days working on chapter 6 alone.
> 
> And boy, it's a doozy. It also about 1,000 words longer than any other chapter thus far. Positive thoughts for my sanity because its been like 5 weeks stuck in this damn house and I've lost my marbles a long time ago. (They just all rolled down my stairs. Much like me! Who fell down those stairs last week and Ooof! That hurt.)
> 
> What do you think so far? What are you hoping for? Are you team Abigail & Sebastian or team Sam & Sebastian? Do you like the character of Riley? (If you don't...please lie. hehe)
> 
> Catch me on twitter via @Lizzir or on Discord at Diggy#8168.  
> Lots of Love,  
> \- Diggy
> 
> Enjoying the story? Connect with me and other readers at my very own Discord server! https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	5. You-And-I, Without the "I"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is on a roll.
> 
> Riley's on a rock. 
> 
> What a perfect time for the door to knock...

**Chapter 5: You-And-I, Without the ‘I’**

* * *

  
  


There were a few things in her life that Riley was thankful for.

  1. She was thankful for _Sam._ He was a much better friend than she probably deserved and not a lot of 22-year-old males would take care of her hung-over ass after a night of tequila shots.  
  

  2. She was thankful that it being winter meant she didn’t need to work out of the fields very often. Apart from going to feed the chickens and check on her stock of feed, there wasn’t much to do.  
  

  3. She was thankful she had two weeks to ponder the events of that epic night before she ran into Marnie’s nephew once again.



“ _Sebosexual_ ?” Sam was staring at her like she had three heads. His pizza was almost dripping right off the crust and yet that one vocabulary choice completely stopped him _dead_ in his tracks. (Not that it took much to do that.)

“Yeah,” Riley swallowed the bite in her mouth and tried not to laugh too prematurely. “You’re not _homosexual,_ you’re _Seb-o-sexual._ ”

More staring.

And then like lights going on all at once, Sam _burst_ at the seams in a full-bodied fit of laughter. No sooner had he started that Riley joined in. His laughter was simply contagious. It was one of those things she really loved about him. Even in the shittiest situations -- like your best friend you’re secretly in the closet for getting his girlfriend potentially pregnant -- he could drop it all and just find something to laugh about.

And laugh they did. Rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically as if drunk off their own glee, Riley and Sam laughed until their sides hurt and heads spun because that was just how contagious Sammy’s sunshine was.

Eventually they grew quiet though. Riley glanced at the clock, then her mug, then tried her hardest not to stare at Sam.

He looked even younger right then, sitting by himself across from her, _hurt._

“Things would have been a whole lot easier if I just fell in love with you, wouldn’t it?”

The bombshell he dropped made the floor almost quake.

Were they talking about this?

They were talking about this.

“Sam…” Riley tried to choose her words carefully but Sam wasn’t done with his proclamation.

“I had to go and muck it up falling in love with him, didn’t I? I just couldn’t be happy enough being with you, or Penny, or any other girl in town?”

It was so sad to see him like this. Her Sammy Sunshine covered by a dark cloud that otherwise should have illuminated his warmth.

“I don’t think we get to choose who we do or don’t fall in love with.” Riley’s voice was quiet as if they were discussing some kind of secret but she kept it steady.

Sam picked at his fingers. “I’m not going to tell him.” There it was. The real reason they were talking about this. “It’s not fair to him, or to Abigail. She’s my friend too.”

That was his greatest fault. 

Sam was _nice_. 

_Too_ nice. So ‘nice’ that he’d deny himself what would make him happy just for the sake of not hurting anyone else. And since he was Riley's best friend...that made her sad too.

There wasn’t much she could do or say to make it better. As much as she wished she could wave a magic wand or call on the magical Junimos to clone Sebastian so Sam could have one all for himself...she couldn’t.

Riley placed her mug down on the floor carefully and crawled over to her friend. Sam didn’t look at her, shame and other darkness eclipsing his sunshine and refusing to make it any more obvious than it already was. 

She wanted to make it better. She’d just about do anything she could with good conscience to make it better for Sam. Instead she just sat right next to him, admitted defeat with a loud sigh and let her head rest against his shoulder.

“At least this’ll save me the trouble of having to tell my mom and dad.” Sam’s voice was much softer and paused. “For a while, anyways.”

Outside it was snowing again.

“Guess we’re just going to grow old together and single the rest of our lives,” Riley joked. She expected Sam to laugh, maybe to smile and quip something back. What he said instead she did _not_ expect. “Just you and I, little old bachelors in Stardew Valley.”

“Unless you end up with Shane and then it’ll just be me.”

Riley tensed. She sat up straight and gave Sam a death glare like he’d suddenly begun speaking in tongues.

“Unless I end up with who now?”

He had _that look_ in his eye. That little gleam of bright light in a sky of blue that seemed to just see straight through the murky waters of her mood.

“Don’t give me that look, Samson,” and just to stress her point she smacked him on the arm. It only made him start to laugh because now he knew he’d struck a proverbial nerve.

“Oh please. You were all over him at the Saloon two weeks ago.” Sam turned his eyes towards her bedroom. “You still have his jacket!” He wiggled his eyes suggestively with a wide smirk. “In your _bedroom_ too.”

Riley didn’t really have any good rebuttal. She never even considered that. In fact, she’d even forgotten all about the jacket until she did laundry last week. And besides, what difference did it make if the jacket was in her room, or in her living room, or hanging by a flagpole outside?

It was halfway through this thought that she realized she was trying to convince herself that Sam wasn’t on to something.

“Honestly I never even knew you talked to him but there was something there. The way you kind of…” Sam slouched slightly forward. “ _Leaned_ into him when he spoke. The way you kept blushing and even Tequila Riley doesn’t blush like that. You just had this look in your eyes — the look you get when you’re laughing so hard, you almost start to snort…”

Riley smacked him again for good measure and Sam laughed out loud. He knew he was winning. “I’m serious! You had this look like...like you were seeing something no one else could.” He perked a brow. “You like him.”

“I do not!” 

If ever there was a time Riley Peters sounded like a 9-year-old with a school crush, this was exactly it. Too late to turn back now, though.

“I was just thanking him for helping me out of a _literal_ mountain of condoms and petty theft.”

“Yeah, Okay. I’ll remember that when I’m giving a toast at your wedding.” Sam got up with impressive speed and moved clear out of Riley’s reach before she could land another loud smack on him. From the front of the small farmhouse, a loud door knock riled up a sleepy Rosie who was now barking loudly and running in circles in front of the door as if trying to tell her owner “there’s someone at the door, mommy!”

“I think you’re making things up now to change the topic.” Riley stood and heard Sam say something from the off in the kitchen but it was barely audible over Rosie’s barks and excitement to whoever was at the door. It wasn’t unusual to have someone at her door. In fact, half of Pelican town dropped by unannounced now and then to either share recipes, give her random bits they found discarded that she _really_ didn’t have much of a use for, or to flat out make requests for special produce. 

“Besides,” she shouted over the excitable dog as she made her way to the door. “I’d barely said two words to him before that night, and I barely count being drunk on tequila shots as...Shane!”

_Speak of the devil._

He was _there_. Right there, in the flesh and multiple layers of coats and jackets, simply standing outside Riley’s door and looking at her like she’d just answered the door in her underwear or something.

Riley felt her face heat and all vocabulary was suddenly erased from her mind like a dry erase board at the end of a school day.

“Uh…” Shane just starred for a minute. Then, as if on cue, Sam rolled up right behind Riley, practically vibrating right out of his skin in glee.

“Hey! Shane, we were just talking about you!” Sam exclaimed happily and very loudly.

_She was going to murder him._

“Well don’t be a bad host, Riles. Let the man in!”

She wanted to die. She wanted to melt like a mint on her tongue and just soak into the old floorboards and drag Sam down with her. Luckily, Shane wasn’t one for awkward encounters nor was he a man of small talk so he didn’t give Sam much more of an opportunity to prove his misinformed point.

“Nah, it’s okay.” Shane fidgeted and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I just came over to drop off some animal feed Marnie wanted to give you.” He wasn’t meeting her eyes, and seeing as how she’d somehow frozen the last time she connected with them, that was probably a good thing. “And my jacket. You still have my jacket.”

Oh, Sam just took that and practically _beamed._

_She was going to kill him so bad, no one would ever know what became of Samson Donovan._

“Riley?” Sam’s voice snapped her out of her inner monologue.

“Right.” She was still staring at Shane a second longer than necessary. “Jacket.” With completely unnecessary speed, Riley Peters practically ran away from the door and towards her bedroom.

While she was gone and frantically looking for the discarded article, Sam wasted no time in coaching some conversation out of his wayward coworker.

“So, are you getting enough shifts over winter?”

Shane glared at Sam as if he were a complete stranger and they didn’t see each other two to three times per week. 

_Not one for small talk._

“Found it!” Riley’s excitable voice luckily erupted from the other side of the small house before Sam could attempt and fail at opening up any more insignificant “small talk.” Riley emerged from her room with the jacket in hand, folded neatly and freshly laundered.

“Thanks,” Shane muttered lamely, taking the article from her. Their fingers brushed for a moment. Just a simple graze of his hand over hers but just as quickly as Shane felt her skin he ripped his hands away as if touching her would burn him.

Of course, Sam _definitely_ didn’t miss that. “Hey Shane, you want a slice of pizza?”

_She was going to kill him._

“You know,” Sam continued with progressing enthusiasm. “As a thank you for walking Tequila-Riley home the other-oof!”

Riley elbowed Sam _hard_ in the stomach. He was strong enough that she doubted it actually hurt him any but the startle of an unplanned onslaught still achieved its purpose of shutting him up before he could cause anymore damage.

Yoba. _Why?_

Shane looked at Riley for a moment and there it was again. Those _damn_ eyes. Except there was something different in there today. They seemed faded, like the color in them had been bleached and dulled. 

“You don’t owe me anything.”

Riley blinked. Shane’s words weren’t spoken with malice or a raised tone and yet his choice of vocabulary seemed to slap her across the face. It sent both her brain and her tongue into autopilot and before she even had a second to pull in the reins, they both moved forward without her permission.

“I have to _owe_ you something to be nice to you?”

Why the _fuck_ did she just say that?

Shane rolled his eyes and took a step back. Hands dug in his pockets and ratty old jacket slung over his shoulder, Shane seemed to almost _shrivel up_ into himself.

_Retreating._

“You don’t even know me. You're better off that way.”

Riley watched him walk away, the dull blue coat fading into the soft white flakes until she no longer could see him through the bare winter trees.

“Hey, where’d he go?” 

She cursed mentally to herself upon hearing Sam’s voice re-emerge behind her.

_She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to hold off on the next chapter at least until I wrapped up chapter 8 or so. But...yeah, didn't happen. lol  
> I'm just really excited to have you all read chapter 6 because its my favorite thus far, and I spent more time on that one than all the other chapters combined because I wanted to hit the ending well.
> 
> Also, I'm only halfway through 7, so these chapters will get more sparingly for a bit, but hey! Gives you all more time to fill my head with ideas to fill in the empty spots in my plot. ( LOL. "Plot")
> 
> OH. Also. I might have some companion smut...yeah. That'll eventually happen. But I'll be posting it separate since the rating of this is an M and it doesn't really fit the flow of the story.
> 
> Okay! Comment away and let me know what you like, what you hope for, or what you want to see!
> 
> \- Digs  
> Twitter: @Lizzir
> 
> Enjoying the story? Connect with me and other readers at my very own Discord server! https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	6. It's Tradition, After All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh right. People usually kissed at midnight for this sort of thing, didn’t they?
> 
> Well, 'tis the season, and it is tradition, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, this was worth the wait.
> 
> Also, some creative liberties were taken. That's totally my prerogative as the fanfiction writer. *evil laughter*

**Chapter 6: It’s Tradition, After All**

* * *

  
  


Two years. 

Riley had lived in the outskirts of Pelican town for  _ two whole years _ and only once ever ran into Shane. For a majority of those two years she wasn’t even sure if his name was Shane or Shawn. Then the  _ “tequilapocalypse” _ had occurred and this became very different.

Suddenly, he was  _ everywhere. _

She saw him every Friday at the Saloon, and every other night she visited too. She saw him every time she swung by Joja Mart to visit Sam, or pick up things she didn’t want Pierre knowing about. She even saw him on the weekends with Jas in Cindersap Forest. For Riley never having noticed Shane before, now it felt like she was  _ always  _ running into him. And in every single one of those encounters he looked at her as if she were a ghost.

Unrecognizable. A stranger. Like he hadn’t rammed her into a pile of condoms in the middle of Joja Mart, got her so absolutely  _ wasted _ that she didn’t remember half the night, and then returned two weeks later to pick up his jacket that she was still holding hostage for reasons she  _ really  _ couldn’t explain.

Nope. It was as if Shane had never seen her in his life and had zero interest in ever running into her again.

So time moved on. Riley did her best to avoid those  _ green eyes _ and winter continued just as planned. Before anyone knew it, Winter's Feast was a memory and New Years was just around the corner. That was something Riley looked forward to, however. This year she’d be celebrating it with Sam, Sebastian, and Abigail. Jodi seemed hesitant at first to let her son partake, but after some gentle reassurance from her husband -- and the idea that they could all celebrate in Sam’s room where it would be easier for her to keep an eye out -- her worries were put to rest.

Or so she thought. By the time Riley arrived at Sam’s just before 11 that evening, Jodi, Kent and Vincent were long gone and out the door, probably setting up to watch the midnight fireworks. From Sam’s window she could already see lights and silhouettes of more than one figure and hear the loud laughs that were unmistakably  _ Sam _ to her ears. 

“Riley!” All voices echoed overly enthusiastic when she entered and it made Riley laugh. Sam was in his rolling chair eyes and looking way too red for sobriety. In one hand was something mixed and probably way too sweet for her liking and in the other…

“Sebastian, you brought  _ pot? _ ” Riley instinctively lowered her voice despite the fact that full well knew no one else was in the house.

“Of course!” He exclaimed enthusiastically and with a worrisome sway of his arms. “How else are going to celebrate the end of yet another black-hole year?”

Riley eyed Abigail who seemed to be the most sober of the trio and mouthed  _ ‘black-hole year?’ _

Abigail simply shrugged and flopped back onto Sam’s bed as if it were her own. “One of these years we have to actually ring in the new year in style and out of Pelican town.” Her hand absentmindedly trailed under Sebastian’s hoodie and up his back. “I want to see the city. It’s so dull here.” Abigail’s hand was still trailing and Sebastian’s black hoodie was rising higher up while his shoulders fell further down.

Riley glanced at Sam who’s eyes were fixated on the sliver of pale, freckled skin on his bed and she wondered if he was imagining it was  _ his _ hand instead.

“Sebby, when are you going to take me back on your bike? That was so nice the first time we did it…”

“So,” Riley shouted much louder than necessary, successfully pulling her blonde friend from his trance and wherever  _ that _ conversation was going dead in its tracks. She sat on Sam’s desk and rested her hand on his shoulder. “Good news for the new year!” Riley plucked the plastic cup from Sam’s hand without so much as a complaint. “Who’s got it?” Riley took a sip and nearly sputtered on the almost  _ pure rum _ that was in his cup.

“Hey, if you can’t take it,” Sam swiped the cup back with a very loose smile. “Don’t steal my drink.” He winked at her and took another big sip and barely made a face. It was an excellent gauge of just how much he’d already consumed that evening. At least it wasn’t tequila.

“Sam was just telling us about a gig he booked us in Zuzu City!” Abigail exclaimed excitedly. She’d luckily removed her hand from her boyfriend’s hoodie, focusing instead on her phone that was dangerously close to following out of her hands and onto her face in her inebriated state. 

“Really?” Riley eyed Sam who was beaming  _ pink _ with excitement and a whole lot of rum.

“Yeah, there’s a park in the city that’s holding open auditions for some battle-of-the-bands style night. I sent in a small recording of  _ The Pelicans _ from when we played at the Stardrop Saloon over Winters Feast and they accepted us into the lineup. They love us!”

“Holy shit,” Riley couldn’t contain her excitement. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sam opened his mouth to respond but Abigail cut him off. “We’re going to get a whole group from town to go and take the bus into the city! It’s going to be a Pelican Town night to remember!”

“Hey Riles,” Sam gave her a dizzy smirk. “You should invite your  _ boyfriend.” _

_ There it was. _

“Wait,  _ boyfriend?!”  _ Abigail jumped to sit up, missed her balance and almost toppled over Sebastian, who only growled and rolled his eyes before moving over to sit on the window sill. He was staring out the cold, dark window like it was a void that would pull away all his dark thoughts. That, or he just needed a cigarette.

“Maybe we should invite  _ yours,”  _ the words slipped off Riley’s tongue before she even knew they were coming and for a hard second, the entire room went dead silent before Sam burst into laughter, who then sprouted laughing from Sebastian, followed by Abigail in quick succession.

_ Thank Yoba none of them are sober right now. _

“No really, what  _ boyfriend? _ ” Abigail pressed on with her expectant eyes towards Riley.

“No one-"

“Riley’s got a thing for  _ Shane,”  _ Sam’s voice slurred into a weird purr. He tried to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively but it only made his eye droop drunkenly.

“Shane?” Abigail’s voice was sharp and incredulous. “Like, Marnie’s nephew, Shane?”

“Do you know any other Shane in town?” Sebastian quipped. It landed him a loud smack from his girlfriend. “You guys are so mean to me, I don’t even know why I put up with you.”

“It’s their free spirited personalities and colorful wardrobes, right?”

Another burst of laughter and the attention had successfully been pulled away from Sam’s stupid lip.

“But really,” Abigail began once more. “You and  _ Shane?” _

_ Or so she thought. _

“There is no  _ me and anyone,’ _ ” Riley corrected. The conversation was getting tiresome while she was sober. “This is just Sam and his overactive imagination trying to hook me up with any eligible bachelors in town.”

Abigail laughed like she’d just been told a joke. “If that were the case you could do  _ so  _ much better than  _ Shane.” _

It was just a quip. A meaningless and very drunk or high or some mixture of the two,  _ pointless _ comment. And yet, when it hit Riley’s ears she felt a strange pull of defensiveness.

“Is there something wrong with Shane that makes him lesser than the other men in town?” Riley’s choice of the word  _ ‘men’  _ hung oddly in the air.

Luckily for Abigail, she was way pst the necessary sobriety to notice Riley’s defensiveness and just pressed on. “Well I mean,” she hesitated. “He’s a  _ drunk _ .”

“And Sebastian’s a smoker. What’s your point?”

At the mention of his name, the lost soul staring out into the void was wrangled back in with a firm tug and an earned glare.

Sam was suddenly put between two friends, of whom he both cared about and one of which he loved and it was entirely his damn fault for not keeping his mouth shut. He could already feel that hangover creeping in.

“Hey guys, one minute to midnight!”

But the damage had already been done. Things had been said, and as much as Riley regretting throwing Sebastian under the metaphorical bus when he wasn’t even a part of the argument, she still didn’t understand what Abigail’s sour taste of Shane was all about.

She also wasn’t entirely sure why it was bothering her so much, but she didn’t  _ really _ want to think too hard about that.

Chances are Abigail wouldn’t even remember too much about this argument come morning, but Riley did. It dampened her mood.

Sebastian opened the window and a frigid air blew into the room. From outside, everyone in the room could hear the town counting down to the new year. 

Abigail moved close to Sebastian and gave him a smile. She threaded her hand in his and he wore a lopsided grin with sleepy eyes but smiled at her all the same.

_ Oh right. People usually kissed at midnight for this sort of thing, didn’t they? _

From the corner of her eye, Riley saw Sam sink further into his seat and became strangely interested in his bracelets all of a sudden. Riley had seen the red in his eyes and goofy smiles he wore but she paused for a second and actually wondered if he was nearly as drunk as he wanted them to think.

_ “Ten! Nine!” _ Abigail joined in with the voices on the wind and met Sebastian’s eye.

Riley made the decision without really thinking much of it and looped her arm around her blonde friend’s shoulders. 

_ “Seven! Six!” _

“Another year of single life,” Sam muttered more loudly than he intended. Nonetheless, the comment made Riley laugh and instinctively pull her friend just a little closer. Sam gave her a side eye but didn’t seem too put off by it.

_ “Three! Two!” _

Sam met Riley’s eye just as she met his. “We have to stick to tradition, right?” She asked expectantly and Sam simply shrugged in agreement.

_ “Happy New Year!” _

Abigail planted a long and overeggerated kiss on her boyfriend before he could even get the words out to wish her a new year. It probably should have made Riley a bit bitter, but in all the chaos of the arguing and her own self pity, she came to an understanding that none of this was really going to make much of a difference sitting on for too long anyways.

“Alright, Samson. Pucker up,” Riley grabbed his face before he could protest and landed a very quick but solid peck on his lips. Sam seemed mildly surprised by the onslaught, but his eyes quickly softened in thanks, understanding  _ it was tradition, afterall. _

Of course Abigail found it  _ hilarious _ and burst into laughter as if her two friends were making out rather than sharing one very brief and uninteresting peck. Sebastian stood up from his windowsill however, while joining in with Abigail’s laughter and took two steps forward.

“Ah, what the hell.”

Sam only had time to let his eyes go wide in real surprise as Sebastian put one hand on either side of his face and then pulled him in for a full-fledged, one-hundred percent,  _ unplanned _ , open-mouthed kiss.

Riley stared. 

And stared.

And possibly dropped her jaw a fraction, just frozen and staring in disbelief because not only was it a real  _ kiss _ , but it was still happening.

Abigail stopped laughing and too went quiet and only after what felt like  _ the longest fucking kiss to ever roll in the New Year, _ Sebastian pulled back with a loud and drunken laughter.

Sam’s face was quickly navigating from tan, to pink, to red in fast succession and Riley couldn’t even think of a joke to make because she was pretty certain that kiss had just sobered up Sam and fulfilled half of his wildest dreams all at once and she couldn’t even think of anything subtle enough to say out loud or make it any better.

Abigail didn’t seem to mind though and nor did Sebastian who wasted no time moving closer to Abigail, nearly missing his seat trying to sit on Sam’s bed and then quickly getting wrapped up in more sloppy kisses by his enthusiastic girlfriend.

_ And that’s my cue to toodle-lou, _ Riley thought to herself as she glanced around for any items she may have dropped.

Sam was still sitting and looking dumbstruck as Riley prepared to leave so she wished her friends a good night, one more ‘Happy New Year,’ and threw Sam a finishing  _ wink _ when no one else was looking.

Which only made the red spread even further until even the tips of his ears were cherry-toned.

Outside the air was cold, but somehow it felt welcoming after the stuffiness of Sam’s room and all of Riley’s thoughts cluttering her mind. There were still people out of course, most roaming the town square or gathered around the saloon, leaving Riley some peace as she headed west towards Cindersap Forest.

It was surprising that Riley didn’t hear fireworks that night. In all the past 2 years she’d celebrated New Years in the valley there had been fireworks. Usually set off in the mountains by Sebastian.

Sebastian who  _ wasn’t _ home this year. That made sense.

Riley approached the fencing around Marnie’s ranch to find the ranch house dark except for a single porch light. She wondered if Shane were home tonight. 

A gust of wind blew through the air. Not enough to really take Riley too much by surprise, but enough to get her to pull her jacket just a little closer and by chance glance around just as she was about to turn north towards the farm.

Instead she spotted the silhouette of a figure sitting at the docks and slowed her pace to a stop. A wave of something foreign seemed to ripple over her skin. It wasn’t necessarily a bad sensation nor was it necessarily a pleasant one. It was just a strange feeling of...recognition? Like she should be able to piece together two and two and know who it was still out alone on the docks in the middle of winter on a night one usually spends surrounded by family and friends.

Riley’s feet moved as if being slowly drawn in by a new magnetic pull. She didn’t really consider her choices or even recall giving her feet permission to approach the figure until it was too later and the sound of her boots on the decaying wood planks alerted the lonesome shadow and it turned to investigate who was breaking their solace.

Of course it was Shane. 

He looked at her silently, the dark obscuring most of his features and expression but even in the faintest sliver of moonlight Riley could see something was amiss. It was in the way his shoulders sunk and he seemed to carry his head under some invisible weight she couldn’t see. Like something was weighing him down to the ground and he struggled just to stay afloat.

Without a word Shane simply turned back towards the frigid black water and cradled the bottle in his hand.

_ Go home, Riley. _

Her voice warned her loud and clear, but she was notoriously bad at not listening to that voice. It was the same voice that told her to stay with Joja in the city.

Okay, maybe that was a bad example…

Riley moved closer until she was right at the end of the pier then carefully lowered herself down to sit at the edge beside Shane. He took another long drink of his beer, completely ignoring her presence.

“No ‘New Year's Eve’ plans?” It was her feeble attempt to spring up small talk and even  _ she _ didn’t believe it.

Shane made a strangled sound between a chuckle of disbelief and a grutle of annoyance. “Why are you bothering me? I want to be alone.”

Riley looked at him for a minute, gauging his body language. His words told her to go, but nothing about the way he held himself really told her that was going to do him much good. She moved a little closer and pointed and the three bottles were still beside him. “Can I have one?”

Shane eyed her oddly as if preparing a rebuttal that fell short. After failing to come up with appropriate words, he handed her a bottle with a short, “Here, have a cold one,” before returning to his quiet staring into the black water.

There were a few moments in which neither of them spoke. Riley sipped on the beer slowly, not entirely loving the drink but at least being thankful that someone had finally gotten her one that night. Shane looked pensive and was slowly beginning to sway with the gentle movement of the water’s surface. Despite the silence, however...it wasn’t uncomfortable. Riley was thankful for that.

“You ever feel like...no matter what you do, you’re gonna fail?”

Riley stared at the inside of her bottle and felt those words resonate within her.

“Too heavy for such a fun-filled day?” Shane’s voice dripped with sarcasm and scorn.

She watched him for a moment and recognized the burn on his manufactured  _ ‘ass-kissing’  _ smile. “No,” Riley spoke truthfully. “Just...processing.”

“I don’t know, sometimes it just feels like…” Shane’s voice trailed off as he gathered his words. Or maybe he just needed to belch. Either way Riley looked up and saw more darkness in his handsome features than she expected. “...like you’re stuck in some miserable abyss and you’re so deep you can’t even see the light of day?”

She did, actually. Maybe not right that minute or much that year because she’d literally worked herself to the point of being so tired she didn’t even get a breath to think of thoughts like that. But Riley  _ did _ know what that felt like. It felt like...spending eight hours a day in a grey cubicle, being belittled like a worthless waste of oxygen. Like not having a worthwhile reason to get up in the morning. Like grey, frozen meals in a lonely grey apartment every single night for six years.

“What happened to your plans? Ran out of booze to last you to midnight?” Shane half chuckled at his own joke but Riley can taste the bitterness underneath.

_ Until midnight? _

Off in the distance, another round of firecrackers sounded off in the cold night.

“What time is it, anyways?”

Riley was confused for a second, thinking of Shane’s comment about midnight. She glanced at her phone and confirmed it was nearly a quarter-to-one, but then hesitated.

“Just a few minutes to midnight,” she lied without fault. Shane must have believed her because he was now looking at the moon like it could solve his problems.

“I think…” Riley's voice was surprising to Shane and he turned to stare at her with an intensity that almost knocked her off balance.

_ Relax, Riley. He’s drunk. That’s the only reason he”s staring. _

“I guess you just need to focus on something worth fighting for when you feel like that.” Her voice trailed off and she wondered shortly if maybe this conversation was too profound for the level of intoxication currently saturating his blood.

Shane stared back at the water and the moon’s reflection on the wripples but Riley saw the shift in his shoulders and deep breath he inhaled. He stayed quiet though, and soon it was silent again between them.

Riley sipped on her beverage again and Shane reached for another...then just held it -- still sealed and icy cold -- in his hands. He turned it over once but didn’t offer any thoughts until. “I just feel like no matter how hard I try…” Shane’s voice trailed off and Riley felt her heart sink. “...I’m not  _ strong enough _ to climb out of that hole.”

Those words alone hit her like a ton of bricks.

_ Now  _ I  _ need a drink. _

Riley felt all of the heaviness of this unplanned conversation welling up in her chest until it pressed on her lungs and made it hard to breathe. Rather than gasp or try to fight it off, she instead turned to the bottle in hand and took one long, bitter swallow. And another. Then another. Riley kept drinking the bitter cold until it seemed to number the inside of her chest and Shane chuckled beside her.

“Heh...fast drinker, huh? Woman after my own heart.”

Riley’s darted to him and Shane looked as if he regretted the words the instant they fell off his tongue.

“Just...uhh…” He fumbled over his words, trying to save himself from the likely unintentional flirt he’d just made. “Just don’t make it a habit.” He exhaled. “You got a future ahead of you still.”

_ Still. _

She wasn’t sure why but that one word at the end of his sentence seemed to anchor the entire sentence with something much,  _ much _ darker than even the deepest depths of the Cindersap lake.

“I know you’re a lot younger than my old ass, but take it as advice from experience: savor your youth while you can.” He looked down at his hands again as if contemplating having one more. 

Riley smiled despite the heaviness settling around her. “I doubt I’m as young as you think I am.”

At that, Shane made an incredulously lopsided laugh. “You can’t be more than what…” he was looking at her with a skeptical eye. Riley wanted, watching his eyes scan over her, make his predictions and thoughts and somewhere along the way get lost. He was looking at her differently. Like he was in the presence of something worth worshiping; like he couldn’t believe she was giving him even these few minutes of attention.

Another round of fireworks went off, this time closer and louder and pulled Shane’s attention away as he looked up at the glittering colors in the sky.

“Did I miss midnight already?” He slurred the _ ‘y’  _ at the end of his words and seemed to sway closer to her.

Riley kept staring. She kept looking at the pattern of shadows that fell over the sharp line of his jaw, curved down his neck and shaded the sunken pits under his eyes.

_ She’d never noticed how handsome he was. _

“Well, my liver’s beggin’ me to stop. Better…” Shane started the thought and quickly trailed off when Riley made the decision.

In one slow motion, Riley crossed the distance between them. Shane watched her move closer, slow, sad eyes looking at her only expressing uncertainty for one brief moment, then sinking into acceptance and fluttering closed like it was some dream he’d had for a long time.

To her surprise, Shane closed the last half inch of space between her lips before even she could.

_ Warmth.  _

_ Softness. _

_ A taste of bitterness and… _

A cold, calloused hand just barely brushed the edge of her face and cupped her cheek. It sent ripples of goosebumps over her arms and a tremble to her breath. Riley felt herself melt onto the velvet of his lips, soft and hot and so cherished she felt herself hold her breath and mind swirl until she felt the flutter of wings in her mind. 

Shane pulled back only an inch and Riley felt the heat in her breath dissipate like a light going out. She hesitated, remained frozen in her spot, the palm of his hand so tenderly against her cheek like she was made of porcelain and he didn’t want to leave his fingerprints on her skin. 

Riley inhales a shaky warm breath and felt that  _ pull _ again. Now she was certain she knew what it was and there was no amount of arguing that could talk her out of.

She’d been drawn into Shane’s gravity and she didn’t want to fight it any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...was it worth the wait?
> 
> Let me know how you liked Riley's way of ringing in the new year and the equivalent of Shane's 2-heart event.
> 
> \- Digs
> 
> Enjoying the story? Connect with me and other readers at my very own Discord server! https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	7. Better Than What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She probably should just have stayed home.
> 
> But then again, where's the fun in that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'm sorry it took so long and I apologize in advance for typos! I really need a beta. Hehe)

**Chapter 7: Better Than What?**

  
  
  


Her lips still tingled the next day. 

Riley woke up thinking about  _ that kiss _ like some love-sick girl in a rom-com, all cliches included. She thought of the way her breath had caught when he’d kissed her, and the way he was warm and soft under her touch.

She also thought about the least obvious reason for going to visit him as soon as decently possible. Except she didn’t have any vegetables to sell, Marnie was still the top producer of dairy and eggs, and apart from having the obvious “I just wanted to visit your nephew and see if he’ll kiss me again because I can  _ still _ feel the previous one in my toes,” she wasn’t really sure what she could do.

So she didn’t see him the next day. Or the day after that. Or even for most of the following week because apart from dragging her sorry ass to Marnie’s ranch with no good excuse other than “I wanted to see Shane,” she really didn’t have a chance to run into him again.

But she never did forget  _ that kiss. _

* * *

**Today, 12:29 PM**

> > **Sam**
>> 
>> i think I’m going to be apologizing to my mom till I’m 40
>> 
>> and Sebastian might be hungover until then too
>> 
>> **Riley**
>> 
>> LOL 
>> 
>> That bad? 
>> 
>> **Sam**
>> 
>> no really
>> 
>> he doesnt remember anything that happened

  
  


Riley came to a stop and reread Sam’s last message three times over. Each time, she felt the words sink lower and lower into her chest. Sam wasn’t outright stating it, but somewhere between the lines of light conversation, there was a painful realization tied in.

> **Riley**
> 
> None of it? 

She knew the answer before he sent it, but it hurt to read it nonetheless.

> **Sam**
> 
> he doesnt even remember you being there

Riley’s heart sank. If what Sam said was true, that meant everything that happened  _ after _ her arrival -- including Sam and Sebastian’s midnight kiss -- was lost to the void of rum-induced blackouts too.

**Today, 12:33 PM**

> **Sam**
> 
> BTW
> 
> did you leave early?
> 
> or is that just bad memoryI forget
> 
> **Sam**
> 
> felt like you left right after midnight

> **Riley**
> 
> Well you know
> 
> Had to get back before my carriage 
> 
> Turned into a pumpkin!

Even from all the way in Cindersap forest, she could picture and nearly  _ hear _ Sam’s laughter at that remark.

**Sam**

oh so youre Cinderella now?

> when did this happen? 
> 
> ;)
> 
> **Riley**
> 
> Nope
> 
> Just a city girl pretending to be a farmer. 

Riley hesitated to send another message.

_ If you tell him this, he’s going to run wild with it. _

She trusted Sam, she honestly did. She knew anything  _ important _ that she specifically told him  _ not _ to blab about he’d probably take to the grave or just forget himself. But sometimes when it came to seemingly more meaningless things like  _ gossip... _ well, you’d think he didn’t have any secrets of his own the way he teased about them.

**Today, 12:37 PM**

> **Riley**
> 
> Or maybe it was the midnight kiss that 
> 
> transformed me 

She chewed on her lip. Sam’s response was almost instantaneous.

> **Sam**
> 
> WITH WHO?!?!
> 
> and i dont count so it better be someone else!

> **Riley**
> 
> Wouldn’t YOU like to know? 
> 
> ;) 

  
  


Riley laughed at her own quip imagining Sam’s reaction to her news vividly in her mind. She could almost picture him flailing about and ready to reach right through the phone and shake her for more information and…

In her stupor and lost thoughts Riley didn’t even hear or see the presence of another body until she collided with a very solid back, sending her and her phone to the slippery ground in a loud an ungraceful flop.

She looked up with wild eyes and mouth open in surprise. Slowly, she pieced together the violent tumble and recognized the body almost immediately.

_ Familiar coat, ratty blue Joja Mart jacket, dark hair… _

“Shane?”

Shane turned to Riley’s croak-like voice as if he’d seen a ghost. For a moment Riley nearly held her breath not know what to expect from his reaction and bracing for the potential worst case scenario.

Luckily for both of the pair, the first reaction was cut short because no sooner had Riley opened her mouth to say  _ something _ that a badly formed snowball disintegrated against Shane’s arm and pulled his attention away once more.

“Shaaaaaane!” A small whining voice seemed to carry off the air like a paper airplane. Riley watched in mild intrigue as a familiar little girl came barrelling towards them then slowed down to a very hesitant step before finally reaching Shane, wrapping her little arms around his waist and seemingly hiding behind him like a small child.

Like  _ his _ child.

_ His child. _

Riley had to blink just to make sure those were actually the words coming to her mind.

“Who is she?” The little girl whispered to her...uh... _ father _ ? That just didn’t sit right.

Shane’s expression changed like a switch. He smiled more gently and looked down at the girl. “Jas, this is Riley. She’s the farmer that lives just north of us in the Honey Hills farm. Don’t you remember Aunt Marnie talking about her a while ago?”

Jas made a face as if holding the memory on one side of her mouth, and then switching to the other. Riley couldn’t decide if she should be looking at Shane, or looking at the little girl that very clearly  _ adored _ him, or if she should even take a step back since the child was clearly shy around strangers. 

Jas seemed to stare at Riley as if recognizing something distant. Then, out of the blue she asked, “Are you Sam’s  _ girlfriend? _ ”

Riley’s eyes widened and Shane sprouted the first  _ genuine _ smile she ever thought she’d seen on him. By the look of surprise on Jas’s face too, it was a rare occasion.

“Come on Jas, you can’t go asking new people things like that right from the off, kid.” 

“Why not?” The child whined. It only made Shane chuckle and Riley smile because despite the boldness of this encounter, it was still pretty cute.

An idea struck Jas then. “Then is she  _ your _ girlfriend, Uncle Shane?”

Shane immediately turned pink and Riley felt her cheeks warm.

“No!” Shane answered  _ much  _ too forcibly. He swallowed something thick in his throat and composed himself before responding again. It made Riley bite her lip trying not to laugh. “Alright kid, I don’t know what Penny’s teaching you but we’ve had enough  _ ‘girlfriend’ _ discussion for one day. Off with you…” he shooed her away and Jas scattered off towards what Riley only assumed was a very lopsided beginning to a snowman.

“Sorry about her,” Shane muttered towards the ground before looking up to Riley.

There were those damn eyes again. Green staring at her like a pond she wanted to get lost in. It made Riley want to hold her breath until her head felt like it would float alway.

“She’s really shy but she warms up pretty quickly.”

Riley had to blink just to compose herself.

_ Smooth. _

Then there was quiet. Shane didn’t offer any more conversation and Riley was still processing all the knowledge — and lack of — that she’d just gained in a short amount of time. Off in the distance, Jas was attempting to make a lumpy little snowman that looked a lot like something out of a Disney movie. She focused hard with her tongue between her teeth and Riley could almost swear she could hear the little girl’s gears turning from here.

“She’s my goddaughter,” Shane offered before Riley could gain the courage to ask.

_ Goddaughter. _

“Her mother was my half-sister. I’ve been her guardian for about 4 years.” There was a weight to Shane’s explanation that seemed to sink lower and lower into Riley’s stomach the longer she just stood there. For someone only a few feet away, it felt like Shane was on another planet entirely. Riley took a step closer and Shane watched her out of one eye as if waiting for something to jump out at him.

“I don’t want your pity, you know.” Riley looked up at hearing his words and this time those  _ green eyes _ were honed in on her. It made her breath thicken in her chest and hold until she felt like she couldn’t breathe. “And you don’t owe me anything from last night either. It was just a New Years tradition for good luck, right?”

Riley unconsciously leaned in closer and felt goose flesh cover her arms. She wanted to speak. She wanted to say  _ something, anything _ that could even crack the surface of all the ways that kiss was anything but ordinary.

Before she had a chance too, however, the ranch door behind her creaked loudly open and Marnie shouted out to her nephew. 

“Shane! Jas! Come in for — oh Riley, dear!”

Riley was almost certain she heard Shane groan beside her and it made her smile as the plump lady made her way over to them. 

“Happy New Year!” Marnie enveloped her in a warm hug and Riley felt not for the first time how much it reminded her of her grandfather’s hugs before he’d passed. When Marnie pulled back she seemed genuinely happy to see her there.

Then she glanced at Shane and her mind made connection and her eyes seemed to glitter. That time Riley really  _ did _ hear Shane groan. 

“Riley! You should have lunch with us!” Marnie clapped her hand together as if it were the most brilliant idea in the world. “Of course, why didn’t I think of it? You’re all alone in that farmhouse, I’m a terrible neighbor. Why don’t you join us for lunch?”

“Oh I really couldn’t,” Riley tried to back out of the invitation but Marnie was persistent. 

The short little woman put her hand on her hip and gave the younger woman a challenging glare. “And why not? Do you have plans with anyone else today?”

_ Not unless checking to see if Sam managed to peel Sebastian off his bedroom floor counts. _

“Well, no…”

“Then that settles it!” Marnie looped her arm around the young farmers and pulled her forward with surprising might. “You’ll just have to have lunch with us!”

From behind Shane could barely breathe watching his aunt tug the most beautiful girl in the valley into the ranch like she was a Girl Scout trying to sell her cookies.

“Jas, dear. Go fetch another plate and some silverware for Ms. Riley. And a glass!”

Riley had been in the ranch many times over the course of the two years she’d lived in Stardew Valley. Yet she’d never been into Marnie’s kitchen and Dining room before today. Photos hung on walls, and old black and white one in an intricate frame, a small colored one with a younger couple, and…

“Shane was just about Jas’s age in that,” Marnie’s voice appeared out of nowhere, nearly sending Riley right out of her skin. From the corner of her eye, Riley watched Shane disappear into a back room and felt a strange darkness looming.

“That was his sister too. When his mother left and he came to live with his father, Charlie was only maybe 4 or 5. Oh he loved having a little sister.”

“Sister?”

_ Her mother was my half sister. _

“Well she was his half-sister technically. But they grew up like any other siblings and oh, he adored her.” Marnie’s voice trailed off before going quiet altogether. She fidgeted with the kitchen rag in her hands and sadness creased lines on her plump face.

“Where is Miss Riley going to sit?” Jas’s voice luckily broke the silent shadow and pulled everyone’s attention away.

“Oh, why don’t you sit her next to your godfather? Then she’ll be across from us and we can talk to her better.”

Riley was beginning to understand why Marnie had been so adamant about inviting her for lunch.

“Riley?” The older woman turned to her with a smile as she folded napkins. “Would you go get Shane from the kitchen please? I don’t know what’s taking him so long.” Marnie looked back at her work at hand but there was something in the smile on her face that made bubbles in Riley’s stomach stir. Nonetheless, she walked in the direction that Marnie’s hand pointed, through an archway -- and collided once more with a very solid body. 

_ “Shit!”  _ Shane cursed under his breath as the glass in hand threatened to spill and clatter to the ground. It didn’t however, and with some quick recovery and the minimal casualty to the amber liquid within, Shane maneuvered out of the way and back to the kitchen sink to rinse off his hands.

_ It smelled of liquor, and it was barely 1:30 in the afternoon. _

“I’m sorry,” Riley’s voice was abnormally quiet. She wasn’t sure if there was any reason for it other than the weird awkwardness that seemed to radiate from her whenever she was around him.

_ Does she move closer? _

_ Does she go back out? _

_ Does she talk to him? _ It wasn’t like she’d never spoken to a man before. She’d had relationships -- albeit, some better than others -- she shouldn’t have an issue talking to one Pelican Town resident. Yet here she was fumbling with her words like a teenager all over again.

“It’s fine,” he replied gruffly without so much as facing her.

Shane had his back to Riley. He was staring down into the glass in hand as if the concoction would heal his mind like a magic potion. Without much further thought, he knocked back its contents, rinsed the glass with water, then put it upside-down to dry on a rack. FInally, he turned to Riley.

His eyes seemed softer than before.

“Marnie’s a bit much, isn’t she?” His voice was low and it made Riley unconsciously step closer. Shane watched her with an intensity that seemed to burn right through her skin. It wasn’t malicious nor necessarily sexual. He just seemed hyper focused. As if focusing on her was grounding him to solid footing.

“She means well,” Riley wasn’t sure when her speech had turned into a whisper but given the fact that the subject was just a few feet away it was probably for the best.

Shane flashed a crooked, half-hearted smile but it fluttered away just as quickly. “I know she does. She’s always been like that with me.” Looked down at the floor as if purposely avoiding Riley’s gaze. “I think she thinks there’s something going on between us…” He flashed Riley the quickest glance before returning to the stare at the crooked kitchen tiles.

“Is there?” The sound of her own voice surprised Riley. She didn’t know where the  _ boldness _ to sudden;y sputter such forward prompting came from, but it was too late to take back now. Shane turned to her finally and held her gaze.

His eyes were so intense it made her want to hold her breath.

“You deserve a lot better.”

Those words hit her like a ton of bricks, then sank slowly down into the bit of her stomach like a weight sinking into quicksand.

_ You deserve a lot better. _

“Did the two of you get lost in there?” Marnie’s voice carried from the dinning room, followed by a high-pitched giggle from unmistakably Jas. Shane walked slowly past Riley giving her a half of a smile and disappeared out of the kitchen.

_ You deserve a lot better. _

That sentence kept echoing in her mind like a beat she couldn’t shake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...confession!
> 
> It took forever to get this chapter out...because at the last second I scrapped it and rewrote most of it because I didn't like the flow of the story and chapter 8 and 9 were fighting me HARD...so naturally that meant rewrite 7. Yup. Also, I apparently didn't even bring up Sam for like 3 chapters and then realized "Oh shit. He needs to be in X, Y, and Z in order to make all of this [PLAN] work." So...my bad.
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you think, it always makes my day and gives me inspiration for future updates.
> 
> Lots of Love,  
> \- Digs
> 
> Enjoying the story? Connect with me and other readers at my very own Discord server! https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	8. Bad Decisions at Bad Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It probably was a bad decision. In fact, all signs pointed to a big, bold, definite. And yet, her left hand reached for the handle as the right undid the deadbolt and before she could chicken out the door swung open and…
> 
> “Shane?”

**Chapter 8: Bad Decisions at Bad Hours**

* * *

Riley stared up at her ceiling fan. It was stationary, of course. The cold outside was more than enough to keep her chill inside too. But in her mind, it may as well have been spinning because the rest of her head seemed to be.

_I shouldn’t have kissed you._

She’d been thinking about those words her entire walk back to the farm and rest of the evening. That kiss had stopped her world and shifted the gravity that held her down on her own two feet. 

And then to have him dismiss it the way he did...like she was a mistake, like _he’d_ made a mistake...

She wanted to be mad. She wanted to be angry. Yoba, she wanted so badly to throw a fit and tell him to kiss her ass but all she wanted...well frankly, was to kiss _him._

_Again._

Riley made an angry grunt and exhaled loudly as if cursing the ceiling above her.

Those eyes.

_Yoba._

Those eyes and the intensity in which they seemed to look at her made her stomach curl and forced her to want to bite her lip to hold back little sounds that were simply inappropriate to make.

_She wondered what his hands felt like._

_On her arms._

_Fingertips making hairs stand on her skin._

_Gooseflesh trailing his lips.._

_Hands along her ribs. Sliding between her…_

“Nope!” Riley sat up so quickly it started Rosie who sprang up as if someone had just shouted _‘Fire!’_ Riley shook her head vigorously and stood from her bed, successfully calming the pooch who returned to her bed.. 

_We won’t be having any of those thoughts, now._

She really didn’t need a name or a face to picture on those lonely nights when she visited her bedside drawer, or those hot showers that made the water run cold.

“Not going down that route,” Riley said quietly to herself. The wooden floorboards were cold under her bare feet but it felt refreshing after being clouded with those thoughts. Riley made her way over to the kitchen, shadows in the small home being cast by the faint glow of the television set off in the corner. 

She wondered what _he_ was doing right now. Was he thinking about her? Was he tucking his goddaughter into bed for the night?

Riley glanced up at the clock above the doorway as her hand reached from the refrigerator door.

_11:42. Probably too late for a child to be going to sleep._

She glanced around the refrigerator. Leftovers in plastic. Unopened bread. Canned remains of the year’s harvest that had already been opened. Nothing really seemed interesting to her or capable of actually quenching that-

A knock on the door sent Riley nearly flying out of her skin, only worsening when Rosie jumped out of bed with explosive barking and alert. Riley clung at her chest and closed the fridge door, feeling as if her heart were ready to burst right out of her body.

_Who the fuck was at her door this late?_

There was no way it was Sam. He was still in metaphorical house arrest from the mess he, Abigail, and Sebastian had made on New Years Eve. Besides, she’d just spoken to him an hour ago and he hadn’t said anything about sneaking out.

Rosie was circling around the door, guarded and barking but not with the stance of aggression one would hope to find out of a guard dog.

“Remind me to get a peep hole,” Riley spoke to partly her furry companion and partly to no one in particular as she approached the door.

_Was it even a wise decision to be answering this?_

It probably wasn’t. In fact, all signs pointed to a big, **bold** **_no._** And yet, her left hand reached for the handle as the right undid the deadbolt and before she could chicken out the door swung open and…

_“Shane?”_

He was staring at her, hand still fisted and up in the air as if he’d just been prepared to knock again but eyes seeming distant and lost. He opened his mouth as if to say something but then no words came out and he closed it again. His cheeks were already pink from the cold and yet they seemed to redden further the longer he stood there dumbly silent.

But it was bitter cold outside and the snow had started up again so Riley opened the door wider and beckoned him in before she could even really consider the repercussions of doing so.

Shane stepped in slowly. He seemed stable enough on his feet but weary of his surroundings as if at any moment he might rethink his choices and take flight.

Riley closed and locked the door behind them before turning to Shane. It took the briefest glance of his green eyes down for a millisecond for her to realize she was in pajamas, no bra, and just outside in the fucking _snow_ to cross her arms tightly over her chest. She cleared her throat.

“What are you doing here?”

Shane blinked slowly. “I…” 

He... _what?_

“...I don’t know,” he admitted in defeat. “I was just taking a walk and ended up here and... _fuck,”_ he cursed loudly under his breath. “This was a mistake.” He turned to leave, tried to pass right by Riley but she reached a hand out to his arm and he froze in place, eyes forward and on the door but ears listening to whatever she had to say. Her hand gripped his arm at first, but as she loosened her hold, her fingers slid down his arm until nearly cradling his wrist. Still, he didn’t look at her.

“I didn't say you had to leave.” 

_Fuck. What was she doing?_

Riley’s voice was soft and she swallowed back the cold sensation on her spine that warmed in her stomach. “I just wanted to know _why._ ”

Finally, he looked at her. Green hazy eyes bore down at her but the intensity was different this time. Softer. 

Calmer. 

_Closer._

She wasn’t sure if it was her that moved closer or Shane, but they drifted slowly like gravity pulled on them. She felt her eyes flutter and she held her breath in her chest and when he opened his mouth to speak she could feel his breath on her lips.

“Do you ever make a bad decision, and you know it’s a bad idea, but you can’t stop yourself from doing it anyways?” Shane looked at her lips but as Riley fluttered her eyes open he met her gaze and held it there.

_Breathe._

She knew the feeling. She knew that feeling so well she almost wanted to laugh. But she resisted, and gave a soft _“yes”_ instead and watched Shane process.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

It was a slap in the face that physically made Riley wince and finally take a deep inhale. Her breath was rough as if she’d run a race because perhaps in her chest she did.

No sooner had he said those words that Riley’s reaction had registered in Shane’s mind because he immediately raised his hand in surrender and went wild in the eyes. “No, no, not like that!” The tips of his ears began to turn pink and this time _he_ retreated with a step back and hands on his face. “You’re beautiful,” he started then paused, only worsening the rosy hue. “I-I wanted to, I just mean you shouldn’t have had to kiss _me._ I shouldn’t have led you on like that, given you some idea that this…” he motioned to himself with a hand. “Was worth starting _anything_ with.”

There it was again -- that damn word, _‘worth.’_

“Why do you keep saying that?” Riley blurted the question before she could sensor herself. When Shane blinked silently at her she reiterated by repeating the question. “Why do you keep referring to yourself as not _‘worth’_ anything?”

He scoffed without missing a beat. “Are you kidding?” He stared her down without abandon. “You live in this town too, right? You can’t pretend you haven’t heard what people say.”

From back in her memory, Abigail’s words echoed in Riley’s mind. Shane didn’t give Riley a chance to weigh on that long though.

“Didn’t you know? I’m the town _fuckup.”_ He stepped away, anger growing inside. _“The drunk. Deadbeat._ ” He spat the words like poison, not in an angry or violent manner but like he was throwing the names at himself.

“Shane…”

“No, no, no.” He raised a wobbly finger up to make his point. “Don’t _‘Shane’_ me like my aunt. You don’t even _know_ me.”

Boldness swelling in her chest, Riley finally stood to her feet. Shane was only a few feet away and yet Riley still moved closer until she could almost smell his breath when he exhaled. “And if I want to?”

_Who the fuck gave her mouth permission to go on auto-pilot?_

He opened his mouth with what she imagined was a rebuttal armed and ready, but then faltered. Closing it again Riley watched him exhale through his nose. She felt herself gravitating closer until she was so close she could smell his scent wafting off his coat. It was equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. Especially because she wanted to get _closer._

“I’m such a fucking joke.” His words were harsh but his tone had softened. Still, he continued. “This isn’t some stupid romance that’s going to be worth any of your time.” 

Riley unconsciously bit her lip and she watched his eyes lock down on her mouth. Something in her gut stirred. A flutter of something blossoming with radiating warmth then seeping into her veins until is dissolved into her bloodstream. Shane met her eye a moment, and then dropped his eyes and went much quieter. “I wouldn’t even want to meet me.”

Silence. 

She was so close but felt miles away at the same time. She couldn’t think of anything else to say. Riley barely knew this person in front of her, but he looked so defeated and broken sitting there looking at her like she was something so far out of his range, she wasn’t even on the same planet as he.

“Do you want some tea?” Riley’s voice was soft and low but it pulled him swiftly out of his stupor.

He looked at her like she’d just spoken in tongues.

“Some tea?” She reiterated the word like he hadn’t understood her vocabulary at all rather than be wondering why the fuck she was asking him if he wanted _tea_ rather than a stiff drink. “Warm us up from the inside out?” 

_Maybe sober you up a little?_

* * *

Something strange happened.

It started off tense in the tiny farmhouse where the air was much too stuffy and Riley felt claustrophobic with Shane sitting there in all his layers of covering and turning redder and redder by the moment whether by the heat of wearing coats indoors or the awkwardness of drunkenly making his way to Riley’s in the middle of the night uninvited.

But then Riley made some tea and invited him out. They sat on the porch, Riley in her own swater and Shane close by and the later it got, the more the tension seemed to disappear. The more the tension dissipated, the warmer it felt being around Shane. 

And the more Shane seemed to be comfortable in his own skin and around Riley. It was probably a good thing because she was close to him now and her mug had long gone cold and been discarded and there was a warmth emanating from his body that seemed to draw her in. To her mild surprise, Shane let her too.

“In this town, you can’t do anything without it being in the gossip pool the next morning, huh?”

Shane smirked. “You know, once Jas got sick at school and I found out at work from Jodie before I even got home to hear it myself.” He chuckled lightly. “Threw up all over Vincent at the playground. I don’t know if I felt worse for Vincent who got drenched in it or Penny who had to clean it up.”

Riley smiled but stayed quiet. It wasn’t an awkward silence that settled, but just a quiet calm. It was oddly peaceful. Like this late hour was just too late for the worries to even still be awake knowing at your insecurities and shaking your anxieties themself.

“I’m sorry,” Shane’s voice was so quiet and came out so unexpectedly that Riley almost thought she’d imagined the whole thing.

She blinked. “For what?”

Shane strained his hands together like he was trying to clean off the regrets on them. “For being a dick.” He looked at her and met her eye.

She didn’t dare blink this time.

“For making those assumptions I had in Joja Mart when I ran into you in the...uh…” he trailed off and even in the darkness of the night and bare minimum lamination of the porch light, Riley could almost see the red rising in his face.

“In a pile of sex products?”

Shane nearly choked on the air itself and burst at the seams in laughter.

Riley smiled with a whimsical shrug and roll of her eyes which only seemed to amuse Shane even more.

Somehow they seemed to move even closer.

“You really don’t sugar coat it, do you?” He was looking at her lips again and it made Riley blush. 

“Well I’m from the city. We don’t have time to beat around the bush — and most of those bushes are made of cement anyways.”

“Yeah,” Shane looked odd towards the distance. “I remember.”

It took a minute for Riley to register what he meant. “You’re from the city?” She hadn’t meant to sound so surprised. The idea of Shane in the city seemed oddly... _exciting._

“Yup,” Shane popped the _‘p’_ with extra emphasis. “Since I was 8 when my mom ditched me in a parking lot and never came back.” He glanced around Riley and saw her look of pity. “Don’t pity me. She wasn’t great to start with.”

Riley couldn’t really help it. She wasn’t sure what to say to such comments as those without apologizing for things that weren’t her doing or using a voice Shane would very clearly read as pity.

“I moved back here when Charlie had the accident.”

Charlie. His half sister. Jas’s mother.

“What about your father?” Riley’s voice was soft, but she tried not to hide any more feeling behind it than necessary.

“He passed when Charlie was 17. Probably why she got pregnant so young. Only had me to look up to and obviously,” Shane waved a hand as if presenting himself as a prime example. “...I’m not the best role-model either.”

Riley smiled but it was slow and sad.

And tired. _Really_ tired.

Riley glanced at her phone beside her and made a face.

“I should probably go,” Shane stood up from his spot and Riley was thankful he’d at least sobered up enough not to stumble. He seemed steady on his feet and even offered her a hand to help her up to.

Riley didn’t hesitate to take it, and in one fluid movement Shane pulled her up to her feet and Riley fumbled with her slipper on the step and pressed right up against him and froze to ice in panic.

She couldn’t breathe again. Her chest wouldn’t move for a long drawn-out minute and all she could focus on was the _smell_ of his coat and the way his chest moved with each breath he took.

“Riley?”

She swallowed thickly and finally took a half step back. Even in the dark of the 2am night, Riley could almost make out his green eyes boring down on her. 

“Sorry I kept you up,” he looked her down again but didn’t move any further nor closer. “Just because I don’t sleep much doesn’t mean I should have expected the same from you.”

It made her smile. “It’s fine,” his name lingered on her tongue but she didn’t say it. Somehow it just felt too intimate to whisper his name at two in the morning like this. She watched him look out in the distance towards the ranch and new if anything was going to happen tonight, her opportunity was quickly ending. Shane turned to head down her steps but before he could move his feet, Riley took his arm, barely hugged him and on her tippy toes placed a kiss on his cheek. His stubble was rough on her lips and they scratched her skin in a way that made her want to tremble.

Shane was slow to react so before he could say something to ruin the moment, Riley walked back to her door.

“You should come visit me more often when you can’t sleep.” She thought about the words she’d said and the implication and quickly corrected herself. “To talk.”

_To talk. Yeah. That definitely clarified things._

Shane stared at her for a long minute and stayed quiet. Finally only after what felt like half the night he cracked a smile.

_“Okay.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I was late the past two weeks, I decided to post this one a little early!
> 
> A couple of things I wants to mention:  
> 1\. You may have noticed the chapter count is now 8/25. This is a rough estimate now that I have finished the outline. It could be shorter. It could be longer. Driving to the store today I had a whole idea for something coming up soon that modified the outline, so you never really know!  
> 2\. I think it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyways: the further into this fic I get, probably the further I will take some creative liberties. And hopefully you're cool with that, but if its not your cup of tea, theres some extremely fabulous fics that follow every single schedule detail, heart even, holiday, etc thats in the game. I follow most, but I might have tweaked a lot too just to make the story interesting. Hehe.
> 
> Let me know what you liked in this chapter or hope to see next.  
> \- Digs
> 
> Enjoying the story? Connect with me and other readers at my very own Discord server! https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	9. Friday Night Fixings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a typical Friday night at the Saloon, with pizza, pool, and good company. What could possibly go awry?

**Chapter 9: Friday Night Fixings**

* * *

“So let me get this straight,” Sam started before pausing for dramatic effect and pinching the bridge of his nose like some reality TV star being given a plastic surgery bill. It made Riley roll her eyes but she still had to smile which was probably the point.

“Shane came over to _your_ house in the middle of the night, _stayed_ until 2 in the morning...and you just _‘talked’_?”

Riley smacked him hard on the arm only eliciting a laugh from the blonde. “Say it a little louder, please. I don’t think Mayor Lewis heard you all the way in his house across town.”

Sam smirked in triumph and reset the pool table. Riley pretended to busy herself with her phone, flipping aimlessly through messages while she scanned the bar with the corner of her eye.

“He’s not here yet.”

Riley snapped her attention to Sam’s voice and feigned innocence. “Sebastian?” It earned her an accusatory eyebrow from her blonde friend. There wouldn’t be much fooling him tonight, so she lowered her voice instead. “I just wanted to see if he’d swing by today.”

Sam made an odd expression but didn’t verbalize his thought.

“What?” Riley walked around the table and next to her friend who still wore that odd look and lowered her voice. “I know that look. You’re thinking very loudly, Samson.”

Sam made a quick glance around the room ensuring they were alone before he faced her. “Have you slept with him?”

Riley’s look of near _horror_ was almost as shocking as Sam’s blunt question.

“Hey! It’s not that far fetched of a question!” He raised his hands in surrender but kept his voice low. “We’re all consenting adults here.”

_Says the youngest one of the group._

“ _No,_ ” Riley shoved a finger in his chest, _hard_ . Her voice was curt and accusatory. “I haven’t slept with _anybody_ in this town, and even if I had it’s none of your fucking business.”

“Woah,” Sam looked as if he’d been slapped and accused of murder all at once. “First of all, _relax.”_ He took a tentative step backward. “I wasn’t accusing you of anything and you can do or don’t do whatever you want with whoever you want in this town or the next one over.” His eyes were sincere. “I just know how the rumor mill works _here,_ and if I need to start pushing away rumors, I just want to hear it from your mouth before anyone else’s.”

Guilt was bitter on Riley’s tongue, so she just swallowed it and didn’t say anything. Sam must have read and recognized her discomfort though because he moved closer to her and lowered his voice again.

“Also we both know I’m not getting _anything_ in this town so let your best friend live a little through your exciting social life, please?” Riley pushed him away again, but this time much more lightly and with a smile. Sam stayed quiet after that note. His hands stayed on the cue stick and Riley could sense something else was on his mind by the way he chewed his lip. She glanced around again. No one was in the game room, and the loud voices of the bar would surely drown out any conversation.

“Have you?” She asked quietly.

“Have I what?” Sam seemed legitimately confused by her lackluster word choice, so RIley reworded her question.

“Have you been with anyone in town recently?”

There was a long pause.

“You don’t think I would have told you if I had?” Sam flashed a brilliant smile but Riley remained stoic until his smile faded. It was as if she could see right through the facade because somewhere deep down, Sam was fairly certain she could. “Not in this town…”

She nudged him gently with her knee. “But…?”

Sam’s exhale was long out of his nose. “Okay, there was _one guy_ in Zuzu city a few months ago…”

Riley’s mouth went wide and her eyes nearly danced as she lit up in excitement. 

“But it was a one-shot deal, and to be completely honest it was ridiculously _stupid_.”

Stupid.

Ridiculous.

One-time deal. Sounded like the average hook-up. Of course, Riley was anything but _average_ in nosy friend skills, so she eyed her friend expectantly still expecting more.

“This probably doesn’t need to be said, but you can’t tell anyone.”

_No shit._

“I went to the city with Sebastian. He wanted another fucking tattoo…”

_Another fucking tattoo. That would definitely be something worth investigating later._

“I don’t remember why, but Seb...he was in a _bad_ place then. Like bad enough that he got so high, the tattoo artist wouldn’t even ink him. So we went to this bar instead...which in retrospect was _so, so stupid._ ” Sam trailed off distantly and Riley recognized the bite behind his tone.

“...and he hooked up with someone.” It wasn’t a question. Riley could tell just by what she knew already and the way Sam refused to look at her now that she was right. She let go of the edge of the table and moved closer to her friend, wrapping an arm around him in her best attempt to comfort him and resting her head against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to him.

“Yeah,” Sam chuckled bitterly. “You and I both.” He didn’t hug her back, but he also didn’t move away so Riley took it as acceptance of her actions and stayed as she was.

“I was so mad at him when this girl picked him up,” he started again after a beat. “And its stupid because I know this is a one-way thing here, but just...the _carelessness._ I mean he’d done it before but I don’t know, that time it just hit _hard_ …” Sam glanced at the clock on the wall above the archway leading to the bar but didn’t comment. “Anyways, a little while later this guy came by, he was cute, we hooked up, nothing really came of it. I felt stupid afterwards especially since I didn’t even know the guy’s last name but it is what it is.”

Sam went quiet after the end of his story and with nothing to add, Riley just stayed silent as well, still hugging her friend, and wishing once more there was more she could do than help Sam try to glue back the pieces of his heart. She wished she could prevent it from breaking in the first place.

“I know this isn’t ever going to end well for me,” Sam started up again quietly. Riley looked up to his eyes and recognized the look of defeat in them. “But I haven’t really figured out how to break away from him either.” He scrunched up his nose for a second and then smirked. “Guess that means I’ll be living the cliches of my inner rockstar and having random hookups in the bar bathrooms while secretly in love with my best friend the rest of my life.”

She shoved him away for that one knowing he was only partially kidding but not really knowing if she wanted to know which part was true. 

Sam’s phone buzzed on the edge of the pool table and he picked up with a smile that quickly faded once reading the message he’d received. 

“What’s wrong?” Riley knew the look of concern he wore.

“I don't know…” he skimmed his phone another moment. “Something’s up with Sebastian though. He and Abigail aren’t coming tonight.”

No Sebastian _or_ Abigail? On a _Friday?_

“I think I’m going to go check on him.” Sam stowed the cue stick in his hand back up on the wall and looked at Riley. “Something just seems off and…”

“It’s _fine,_ Sam.” She smiled at him, gathering her wallet off the table, shoving it in her pocket and heading towards the bar behind her friend. The pair waved at Emily on their way out, mouthing a silent apology for not actually _buying_ anything that night and were just about to exit the saloon when the door opened abruptly to…

“Shane!” Sam’s voice went up three levels on that one name alone. Riley felt her face start to warm and her mouth open to say something before Sam beat her to it.

“You know what,” he moved out of the way to let the shorter man in and smiled at Riley. “We don’t _both_ need to go up the mountain to check on Mr. Dark and Dreary,” Sam started in an almost singsong voice. “ _You_ stay here, have dinner, get your Friday night fixings, and I’ll run into you _tomorrow._ ”

He was out the door and out of earshot before Riley even had a chance to say two words. Shane was looking at her with a bit of question and a lot of uncertainty in his expression. There was a sliver of hope underneath though that started to slowly calm Riley’s nerves and the more she thought about it, the more she actually _liked_ the idea.

Shane glanced uncertainly at the bar then back at Riley, who now smiled. 

“Do you want company?”

* * *

It was a little awkward at first. Shane seemed uneasy to be having company. He kept glancing at Riley as he waited for his beer and he hadn’t said more than an empty word or two and a stranger would think he were being held captive against his will if they’d witnessed such an interaction.

But then they moved to a little table in the corner of the room and away from the bar where less eyes seemed to wander. Beers were drunk, food consumed, and somewhere between the shared plate of pepper poppers and the bottom of Shane’s third glass he started to smile more and meet her eye. It wasn’t just the peppers that were warming up his cheeks and Riley felt it too.

“So I take it when Jas asked if you were Sam’s girlfriend its because you spend a lot of time over there?” Shane had a rosiness to the top of his cheeks that hinted at the liquid courage in his system and his own comfort levels rising around Riley. It warmed her too to know he was opening up to her. Enough in fact that she felt some of her restraints give way and words fall away with less and less give each time.

“I’d say Sam is probably my best friend in town and if I’m not on the farm or Pierre’s selling produce, I’m probably off with Sam somewhere.” She unconsciously licked her lips of the stinging heat on them and watched in amusement as Shane’s eyes flicked to her mouth, followed her tongue then quickly flew back up to her eyes as if half-way through realizing what they were doing.

“What about you?” Her voice was softer despite the rucus of the full Saloon, but it made Shane lean in closer and whether or not that was intentional she didn’t frankly care but was appreciative all the same. 

“What about me?” His green eyes sparkled.

_Was he flirting?_

“Do you have any friends in town I can expect to hound down for more information on you?” She’d meant that to be a joke, something to earn a laugh from Shane and break another barrier between them. Instead he looked at her a second, dropped his expression a level and began to retreat. 

“Not really.”

_Silence._

Riley’s eyes caught a familiar head of hair from the corner of the room and her face must have read her thoughts loudly because Shane turned in his seat to look and groaned immediately.

“Great,” he mumbled in annoyance. “Tomorrow morning we’ll be the hottest thing in town gossip.” He grabbed the glass with still a third of a beer inside and drank the rest of it in one fell swoop.

Riley stared at him. It was Marnie’s head they’d seen glancing their way and leaving with the Mayor of Town. Surely _she_ wouldn’t start the gossip mill about her own nephew.

“I need another…”

“Walk me home?” Riley blurted the request before he could even finish the thought. Shane stared at her like she’d sprouted another head and Riley felt her face enflame in heat. “I mean…” She swallowed the embarrassment in her throat. “Uh...please?”

Again he stared at her. Silently. Only after the longest fucking minute of Riley’s life did he finally sprout a smile both sincere and appreciative. “Sure.”

They gathered their things quickly, both of the pair leaving more than sufficient cash on the table to cover their tabs and tips Emily generously and without much further discussion headed out of the Saloon.

Outside it was still cold but the snow had melted days ago without return and Riley was at least thankful for that as she pulled her coat close around her. 

“You’re really not a fan of the cold, are you?” It was almost alarming to hear Shane’s voice so sure and calm. It was also pleasant and made her smile.

“Honestly?” She bit her lip. “I was born and grew up in the south and I kind of wish we had that weather here.” They walked north past houses and gardens toward the road leading to the bus stop and the farm. It was dark out with the new moon offering no illumination but tonight she was thankful for the privacy and solitude it gave her and Shane.

_Her and Shane._

“At least when it snows I can use the slippery ground as an excuse for my clumsiness,” Riley started up again as they turned right at the sign post pointing to _Honey Hills Farm._ “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a bit of a disaster on my feet, as proven by the three times I’ve tried to knock you over thus far.” 

Shane smiled at that and it made her repeat the action in turn. “You have a great smile,” she said before she’d even given her mouth permission.

_Oh, fuck. Why had she said that?_

Shane looked at her quizzically but didn’t respond otherwise.

More silence.

The dirt road beside the bus stop crunched under the pair’s feet and Riley focused on that sound to keep her mind off the fact that Shane was being utterly silent.

_Such a fucking stupid comment to-_

“Can I get your number?” Shane blurted out the words at a speed that almost blended them all into one piece of vocabulary. It made RIley have to think an extra second to comprehend what he’d said before it _actually_ made sense to her.

“My... _oh._ ” Her _number._

“Okay so that wasn’t just _me_ that it sounded stupid to,” Shane joked awkwardly only making Riley feel worse for her lack of speech.

“No, no, no!” She only realized when she was in front of him blocking his path and Shane was starring at her with a stupid look that she realized what was actually spewing from her mouth. “I mean...fuck, I’m really bad at this?”

_Oh good grief._

More silence. Then, Shane began to laugh. It started with a low chuckle then evolved into something from his chest, and by the time it was deep enough to hit his sides Riley was wrapped right into the contagion of his laughter and found herself gripping her sides trying not to stop breathing from the absolute _shitfest_ that was her own cerebral being.

She hadn’t even noticed they’d moved closer together or neared the farm until her sides were so sore she had to stop to take a breath and Shane was looking at her with a softness she could distinguish even in the dim light of the moonless night.

He was so close the breath out of his mouth was white and foggy and if she stood still enough she could almost taste it on her lips.

“...” She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out and if it was even possible he seemed even closer. Shane was moving in slow, deliberate autopilot. His hands tentatively hovering over her waist, head dipped towards her and Riley wasn’t sure when her eyes had started to flutter closed until...

_Warm velvet._

His lips felt like warm velvet against her, soft and hesitant for the first second, breath hot and suffocating against her mouth and drawing her in like a siren song she couldn’t escape.

Then his kisses got firmer. Hand on her waist pulling her closer and Riley felt like her body molded against his, soft but firm. Her arms wrapped around his neck and Shane tugged on her bottom lip and-

“Fuck,” he pushed away from her as if she _burned him._ Riley stumbled in her spot, senses reeling and head spinning because _what the fuck just happened?_

“Fuck, Riley!” Shane yelled loudly as he gripped at his face, palms hard against his eyes and fingers digging into his hair. “I-I _can’t.”_ Shane turned quickly on his heel and started south towards the ranch without so much as another glance.

Riley stood there. 

Frozen in her position. 

Alone in the dark of her frozen-over farm and the cold ending to what may very well have just been a very warm beginning.

_What the fuck just happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings!  
> So I have an announcement to make...I started a Discord server! (Or another one anyways.) Enjoying the story? Connect with me and other readers at my brand new server --> https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ
> 
> I think this whole situation right now in the world is making folks (myself included) feeling very isolated and theres only so much conversation you can get through comments, so maybe drop by and say 'hi'?
> 
> Anyways. What did you think? What did you like? Or maybe what do you think or hope to read next? Let me know!  
> Next chapter is going to be a bit of a rollercoaster...I recommend bringing tissues.


	10. Bad is a Three-Letter Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam fucks up, and Riley's there to pick up the pieces. She just hopes he'll let her.

**Chapter 10: Bad is a Three Letter Word**

* * *

Today, 3:42 AM

Sam:  
I’m so stupid

* * *

  
  


Riley woke up to her phone ringing just before 8 the next day. It wasn’t so shocking the time in which it rang -- had it been a spring morning she would have been up two hours earlier anyways. What was _shocking_ was seeing _Jodie Donovan_ on her caller ID and knowing something was very wrong before even answering the call.

“Jodie?” Riley’s voice was croaky and hoarse but Jodie wasted no time telling Riley exactly what was wrong.

“Riley!” Her voice sounded desperate. “I didn’t know who else to call….”

The pieces fell together like a puzzle. Jodie. Call. Problem.

_Sam._

Riley sat up immediately with panic. “What’s wrong?”

The older woman sniffled on the line and Riley felt her heart drop into her stomach. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him, Riley. He came home late and he’s locked himself in his room all night and I think I hear him crying and things breaking. Something’s wrong with my baby and he won’t talk to me…”

With every word the worried mother spoke, Riley felt the weight in her chest growing heavier and heavier. 

“Please, Riley,” Jodie begged tearfully. “I didn’t know who else to call for help…”

It took Riley less time to get to Sam’s than she ever thought possible. And yet every second made it feel like the longest drive and walk in history. The mental image of Sam potentially physically hurt and almost certainly emotionally hurt was both fuel to keep her going and lead shoes to weigh her down.

When she arrived to the Donovan household Kent had already left with Vincent, seemingly off to school and Jodie was standing at her front door like a wreck-ridden mother fearing for her son’s own well being.

She looked so much older that morning. Her usual _'put-together'_ housewife exterior gone, makeup ruined, hair a mess, dark circles under her eyes. She looked so _small._

“He won’t open his door,” Jodie breathed in a panic when Riley finally approached her. In her almost three years of being in this town Riley had never had the issue of Sam not opening up to her. However, walking in the house that morning with a worried mother in tow and Riley knocking on Sam’s door — locked, unsurprisingly — proved to be a first time for everyone.

“Sam, It’s Riley…” she called to him cautiously. She knocked again, loud and forcibly and the solid wood door and then pressed her ear to the panel attempting to listen in. Jodie stood behind her, tear-stricken eyes red and puffy but trying her best to stay silent and praying to any god she could that this was all going to be less traumatic than it currently felt.

Riley knocked again, louder than before with the force that made the whole door shake and her knuckles ache from impact but again there was no perceivable sound from the other side.

“Jodie,” she turned to the worried mother who immediately moved closer as if prepared to hear some groundbreaking update. “Go clean yourself up…” Riley thought of the best way to get the mother away. “And…” Riley failed to come up with an excuse but to everyone’s surprise, Jodie picked up on what she was asking immediately.

“And let the two of you talk?” She wiped at her eyes. “Okay,” she glanced around as if gathering her bearing. “I’ll uhh...I’ll go visit Caroline…”

Riley watched the mother walk towards her room and waited. Riley knocked once more for good measure but again, Sam made no sound that he was even still _breathing_ in that room so she slid down to the floor and sat with her back against the door until Jodie re-emerges from her bedroom and gave her a tearful nod on her way out the door.

The door closed with a clatter and finally the house was quiet. Riley waited.

She breathed through her nose slowly, listened to the hum of the refrigerator and vibration of the radiator in the living room but just sat quietly and waited.

“Sam?” She called knocking again after what felt like an hour. Unsurprisingly, Sam again refused to respond. Riley rested the side of her face against his door and closed her eyes imagining what had hurt her best friend enough to completely crumble him.

The worst wasn’t trying to imagine _what,_ but actually _knowing_ the answer.

“Sam?” She called again.

This time there was a response. Riley couldn’t make out any words or perceivable speech, but there was a clear voice behind the door that was unmistakably Sam and it prompted another idea in her.

_Wouldn’t be the first time I snuck into his room._

Riley stood up ignoring the crackle of her knees and walked back to the front door. Out of the house the temperature was beginning to warm with the court coming spring but Riley could careless or bother less thinking about spring with the given situation. She walked around the front of the house to the side where she knew Sam’s window was. Unsurprisingly, the curtains were drawn closed and window shut tight. 

But again...it wasn’t the first time she’d be crawling through that window.

Down on the ground underneath the bushes, Riley kneeled and felt around the dirt with her hands. The ground was cold and muddy but it didn’t take long before she felt the smooth plastic of the fake stone.

“Thank Yoba,” she prayed silently to herself fishing the faux stone out and plopping it over to reveal the thin metal jam she’d used before to open Sam’s window. Riley dropped the stone back on the ground rose to her feet to face the window.

The room inside was dark and she had to gather herself for a second to prepare for whatever she was going to find inside.

_Please be okay._

Riley approached the window cautiously, taking care not to snag on the bare bushes under the window as she reached over to the double-pane glass. She gave it a hard knock as a warning — and to verify the window was even locked — and after no response, proceeded with breaking into Sam’s room like she’d done several times before.

The little jam was clumsy in her hands as she clipped away at the space between window panes but after a few minutes of fidgeting she heard the unmistakable sound of the window latch giving away and her entry into the room opening.

The curtains of Sam’s room fluttered as she lifted the window and slid her first leg in. It wasn’t the largest window to crawl through, but if Sam in his 6-foot-1 height could crawl in, Riley’s much less impressive height shouldn’t pose much of a problem. 

The room inside was dark and something crunched beneath her foot as she stepped in and finally cleared the window. For a moment Riley almost panicked not seeing Sam and wondering if he was even there. Her eyes scanned the room however, and off in the corner, sitting on the ground by his bed was Sam.

Whatever Riley had been mentally preparing for her entire adventure up to this point, actually seeing Sam in that room was _so much_ _worse._

He was still dressed in the clothes he’d warn the night before and he held his head in his hands, elbows on his knees and fingers in his hair, _crying_.

When you are a child and learning to read and write, the word _broken_ is a simple vocabulary choice. It means something that is damaged or no longer functioning. Like the drumstick split into pieces scattered over Sam’s bedroom rug, or his favorite mug shattered in the corner. _Broken._

Riley slid quietly next to Sam on the floor and hugged her knees to her chest. He didn’t say anything to her or even look up. She couldn’t hear his tears or gasps of breath and she wondered briefly how much someone had to hurt to even forfeit the ability to cry any longer.

When you get older -- into your teens or maybe your _adulthood_ \-- you learn a few more meanings of the word _broken._

 **broken** _adj_ \- (of a person) having given up all hope; despairing.

Sam was by all definitions of the word _broken_ next to Riley. He was inches away and he wouldn’t even acknowledge her presence. It stung at her eyes and tightened at her chest until Riley felt the physical pain in her body overcoming the rest of her senses and she gasped a watery breath because _it hurt her too._

 _“Talk to me, Sammy,”_ she whispered tearfully as she wrapped an arm around him. Sam didn’t lean into her or move in the slightest and she wondered for a minute if he’d fallen asleep.

Out of the faintest breath and tremble of his shoulders she heard the smallest voice she thought possible from her Sammy Sunshine.

_“I’m so stupid.”_

* * *

Sam looked so young sleeping on her lap like he was. Riley wasn’t sure how long he’d been crying or when he’d gotten home but by the time she finally made it into his room his tears were running dry and his usually bright blue eyes were red and swollen with blood vessels popped all over his skin and Riley hurt just thinking about what could have hurt her Sammy Sunshine so profusely.

It took time to get him to speak and with every attempt he made to push her away, Riley felt her heart break further and Sam’s resolve deteriorate even more.

Finally he crumbled.

 _“I told Sebastian,”_ he had choked on the words and as much as it hurt her to hear him say it, she knew that wasn’t the entire reason for Sam falling to pieces the way he had.

 _“I was so stupid.”_ Riley ran her fingers through the stiff, gel-crusted strands of his hair and remembered the way he’d pulled at his hair recalling what had happened. _“Why did I do it?”_ He’d gone from whispering, to crying, to yelling the words.

It was around that time in which Sam who had spent most of the night crying and destroying his room finally broke down and the whole story spewed out in muddled, misshapen segments.

_Sebastian and Abigail had split._

_Sebastian was upset._

_Had a joint with Sam._

_Asked Sam if he’d ever been with a guy._

_Then he’d kissed him, and somewhere between Sam’s hand in Sebastian’s pants and the blonde admitting he’d been in love with Sebastian for years, things went south at record speed._

Sam breathed deeply in his sleep. His chest moved with his exhale and Riley felt a lone hot tear slide down her cheek thinking about all the different ways this was all fucked up.

_Bad._

It was so many shades of _bad_ and Riley had never had such a disgust in three letter words as she did today.

_Out._

Sam had finally come _out_ to his oldest friend; to the friend he was so deeply in love with, he pretended the other guys he hooked up with were _him._

 _Out_.

After all was said and done, Sebastian had kicked him _out_ of his house and life.

Sam stirred slightly, mumbling vaguely and lids fluttering but never opening. Riley hopes somewhere deep down he wasn’t dreaming of Sebastian, or Pelican Town, or the Pelicans at all.

_The Pelicans._

Her eyes navigated to the broken drumstick in the middle of Sam’s rug. He hadn’t gotten into specifics of what exactly Sebastian had meant by _“out of my life”_ when he’d been spewing his story, but by the look of that drumstick and the random broken objects around the room, the torn-down calendar where he’d been marking off the days until their performance in Zuzu City, and the rest of the broken or dismantled objects around the room, she could probably figure out what it meant for Sam’s musical endeavors too.

“I’m so sorry, Sammy,” Riley sniffled a watery whisper with her fingers through his hair again. Even fast asleep and at some peace, Sam looked _broken_ in her lap. Dark bags under his eyes. Little red lines from all the crying. Pasty, dirty skin that usually looked so bright and full of sunshine…

 _‘Things would have been a whole lot easier if I just fell in love with you, wouldn’t it?’_ She still remembered him saying those words and thinking back at them, it really would have made this whole mess obsolete. A year ago, she would have even been able to picture it.

Her and Sam.

Sam and Riley. They’d probably be nicknamed _Smiley._ They’d have a perfectly ordinary, boring, domesticated relationship. Probably get married in a couple of years. Definitely have a couple of kids because the only thing worse about not imagining love for Sam is not imagining him one day with his own kids.

But of course, fate was not that kind nor was it so complacent. He was never going to love her that way, and Riley was certain now she could never really love him the way he deserved either. She _loved_ him, but she didn’t think she could be _in love_ with him.

It wouldn’t be Sam she’d have a picket fence with. Her future children wouldn’t be blonde and blue-eyed more than likely.

_Maybe they’d have green eyes._

That one rogue little thought floated to the top of her subconscious without permission and Riley audibly groaned brushing it away. Now was not the time to be thinking of Shane or the absolute _fuckery_ that had ended last night. Shane would have to wait. Now was the time to be there for Sam and make sure _he_ could recover from this because on Riley’s list of priorities, her sunshine was currently at the top.

In her lap, Sam stirred for a moment, turned slightly in wakefulness and then groaned as he reached up and clutched the top of his head.

“Headache?” She kept her voice low and soft, partially not to worsen his symptoms and partially because that took all the energy she could muster. Sam nodded vaguely and made a few more incoherent sounds before opening his eyes.

Even in the darkness of his curtains drawn and the bedroom door closed, Riley could see his eyes still red and the color in them dull and faded as he looked at her.

Sam opened his mouth to say something. His papery lips stuck together as he tried to say something but the longer he looked at his best friend, the more the reality of everything came flooding back and Riley could see the loom of pain in his wordless expression.

His eyes welled up and Riley felt hers do the same. She stroked his hair lightly again and sniffed through her nose.

“It’s okay,” she told him gently. “ _It’ll be okay.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a dope. I forgot my ending note. (Let’s blame the cold meds. Not feeling too hot.)
> 
> Anywhos, apparently Ao3 maintenance is eating everyone’s emails, so catch me on Discord with my very own server: https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	11. No Good Can Come From Joja

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley should have stuck to her promise when she said she'd never step foot in Joja Mart after her last visit. Yet, here she was now. Visiting Joja Mart one more time and finding trouble.

**Chapter 11: No Good Can Come from Joja**

* * *

Spring arrived as if overnight. Though the air was cold and crisp, the earth had long been thawed out and everything smelled just _wet._ A fact that didn’t get any better by the sprinkling of showers that seemed to start making a customary appearance through the valley.

Everything was muddy.

Shoes and tires stuck to the ground.

The animals were in a haze, wearily wandering out of their dens, barns, and coops, as if uncertain it was safe to do so.

Not even Rosie wanted to play outside. It was dreary, it was grey, and it meant Spring was quickly approaching -- as was Riley’s work load. In retrospect, this was probably a good thing. It gave her less time to focus on the fuckery that was Sam’s love life, and completely kept her too busy to even remotely think of _Shane._

It was like just when things were almost hitting that cusp of _too much_ to think about, the universe threw Riley into the beginnings of spring and her long-ass check list of things to do in order to prepare for her spring crops. It would have been such perfect timing, it really would. The only problem with that _perfect timing_ was the fact that Riley left her house that Monday morning with memories of Sam’s implosion on her mind and vengeful thoughts of one particular emo who lived on the mountain to cloud her judgement.

So naturally instead of beginning to clear land for her fields or swinging by Pierres to order her spring seeds, Riley headed further east to the one place she said she’d never step foot in again since that one horrible night that started it all: _Joja Mart._

The fluorescent lights desaturated all the colors within the store as if draining all happiness from life within. Riley made a face as she entered the dull grey building and glanced around for her friend. A petite red-headed young woman stood behind a cash register looking tired and worn down. Riley pitied her, honestly. She remembered the days of dull grey walls and dull grey days that dragged on with dull grey hours in her dull grey cubicle. It sucked all joy right out of you like some happiness leech with an insatiable appetite.

“Welcome to Joja Mart!” A portly little man with a sharp nose and dark smile bellowed from down the hall. “Can I interest you in a…” Riley didn’t even bother to hear the rest of his speech because she was already half-way down the first aisle and looking for a familiar blonde.

Knowing Sam and his habits, Riley figured he’d have headphones on and thus calling for him wouldn’t do her any good.

Not finding the blonde in the first aisle, Riley rounded the next, passing dried pastas and rice before making her way into the third aisle and pausing ungracefully as she almost collided with a step stool and surprised the human standing on the top step.

“Shane!” She wasn’t sure why his _name_ of all things was the first word to come out of her mouth but as soon as it had and Shane had met her eye Riley knew it was way, _way_ past the point of no return and found herself face-to-face with the man she’d been avoiding almost as well as he’d been avoiding her.

She opened her mouth dumbly but failing to find any words forming on her tongue, ended up just staring at Shane as he descended the precarious step stool, empty cardboard box in hand.

“What, you’re here to bother me at work now too?” 

And that was about as long as Riley’s flustering lasted and was quickly replaced with annoyance.

“No, I’m looking for Sam.” She wanted to add _‘you asshole,’_ at the end of her sentence but luckily for the first time that day her filtering actually worked with her.

Shane scowled and rolled his eyes in annoyance maneuvering around her like she was a sculpture that wouldn’t budge. 

“He’s mopping up by the frozen aisle.” Shane hoisted up another shockingly large box of cans then proceeded to make his way back up the step stool and arrange the cans one at a time on its proper shelf. Successfully now ignoring her as if she wasn’t a foot away and staring, Shane got back to work and made it clear he wasn’t going to partake in anymore conversation. 

Just as Shane had said, Riley found Sam in the frozen aisle, mopping away at a puddle of melted ice leaking from a freezer door. Even from behind Riley could tell something was off by the way his shoulders hung lower and his hair looked less... _sculpted_ as usual. Riley tapped her friend on the shoulder as gently as she could, watching him uncharacteristically jump in startle before turning to her.

If the hair wasn’t indication enough, the dark circles under his eyes were.

“Riley?” Sam lowered his headphones from his ears to his neck just watching his friend as she enveloped him in a warm hug. Sam was stiff for a moment but quickly leaned his mop against the freezers and returned the embrace. 

She wanted to squeeze him tight. Hold him together so he wouldn’t fall apart or let his own inner turmoil fracture him further. But they were also standing in the freeze section of Joja Mart at 3:45pm, so eventually Riley let go over her friend and tried her best to give him a smile.

He looked better today than he had two days ago when she had broken into his bedroom window. For that, she was thankful.

Sam glanced around somewhat nervously as if looking for anyone else trailing behind his friend. Riley tried not to think too much about who he could be looking for and instead diverted his attention. 

“What time do you get off? I ordered a pizza from Gus and thought we could have a movie night. I have some dried corn from last fall that we can try our hand at popping.”

Sam smiled genuinely and fished his phone from his pocket. He glanced at the time and made a face. “Eh, close enough. I’ll go tell Morris I need to clock out early.” Riley watched him grab the mop and head down the aisle towards the _‘Employees Only’_ door at the end.

This left her alone, in the center of the frozen foods aisle, with very little to do than plop her hands in her jacket pockets and make awkward popping noises with her mouth as she rolled on her heels.

Shane emerged from the canned aisle not a moment later and paid her no notice as he passed by her with several large empty cartons and boxes. Riley had to take a step back just to avoid having him plowing into her. She narrowed her eyes, the tingling thought of following him with a rude retort stinging at her subconscious but resisted the urge. Luckily, she didn’t need to think too long because her phone buzzed in her pocket just that moment, surprising Riley when Sam’s name popped up.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Today, 3:49 PM

 **Sam:**   
be a min 

Morris has to tell me something

\--------------------------------------------------------

Riley frowned. She wasn’t sure what _“something”_ Sam could possibly need to hear from his manager, but it didn’t usually end up being something good if he had to tell you as you tried to leave early for the day.

“Would you move, _please_?” Shane’s gruff voice broke Riley’s thought before she really spent too much time dwelling on that text. She looked up to see Shane carrying a rather large collection of dismantled cardboard boxes and nearly running her over as he passed by. Riley stepped backward to avoid the collision, her left foot slipping on the wet flooring and nearly sending her to the ground.

_Smoothe._

Fixing her footing, Riley gathered her bearings and stood up straight again. There was a strange warm _sting_ in her ankle, but Riley had suffered much worse and worked straight through the discomfort -- and this was _so_ much more interesting than farm work. 

Shane reemerged from the loading doors with a new box of canned fruit in his hands and an annoyed look on his face.

“What exactly _is_ your issue with me?” Riley barked rather annoyedly to the man as he walked right by as if she weren’t standing a foot away. “Am I a waste of your lovely time?”

This time Shane scoffed loudly, but continued on towards the aisle as if she wasn’t even worth his energy. Somehow, that just made it _worse._

Riley stocked right after him, stopping like a child who’d been denied the candy at the checkout lane.

“What is your big, _fucking_ problem?!” She stopped mere inches from his face where Shane had no excuse _but_ to make eye contact.

“What?” He asked dumbly.

“What is your fucking problem with me?” She jabbed a finger in his chest partly for dramatics and partly to ensure he didn’t escape from the conversation again. “One minute you’re kissing me, you’re walking me home, you’re asking for my _number…”_

Shane took a hesitant half step backwards but found himself pressed between the previous step stool and a very pissed-off farmer. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but then failed to find any words and just closed his mouth back again with a blank stare. Riley wasn’t sure if she was imagining it, but Shane seemed to pinken under her stare.

 _“Riley?”_ Sam’s voice carried from across the store aisle, finally breaking the awkward trance between her and Shane. With one last glare, she turned on her heel and retreated.

Riley couldn’t grasp what was actually happening with Shane. Half of her was mad, half of her felt disappointed, all of her couldn’t decide if she should take it personally or if it was something else. It was _all_ confusing.

In retrospect, she should have been paying more attention to where she was walking than what Shane had or hadn’t said to her up until that point. Unfortunately, for everyone involved, Riley’s annoyance was distracting but didn’t magically cure her clumsiness.

“Where’d you go?” Sam’s voice pulled her attention up and off of Shane just enough for her to look up and see him give her a meek smile.

“Riley!” Another voice called her from behind.

Everything began like a slow motion video. She heard the voice behind her, faintly registered it as Shane’s. Riley began to turn in her spot -- coincidentally on top of the very spot Sam had been mopping only a few minutes prior.

Riley wasn’t sure if it was the turn, or the water, or the lack of concentration but she was looking at Shane one second, saw his eyes widen…

And then her body fell left while her ankle rolled right.

The first thing she felt was the sudden, _brutal_ pummel of hard tiling under her ass. It stung and throbbed, and the impact of her body hitting the ground seemed to start in her palms then race their way up her arms to be absorbed in her shoulders.

“Shit!”

Riley wasn’t sure whose voice said that, because her head was slowly returning from the confusion of the entire ordeal.

“Yoba, are you okay?”

Riley looked up and found those damned green eyes again, now inches away, alert and looking rather worried.

“Yea,” her voice faulted and she cleared it awkwardly. “I’m fine, I’m fine…” She shifted her weight-and then her ankle screamed at her.

“Fuck!” She hadn’t intended to scream since foul words so loudly, but somewhere between fall on her ass _again,_ having those damned _green eyes_ on her, and the unexplainable explosion of _heat_ in her ankle, she’d long lost good reasoning and transitioned to survival mode.

Survival mode wanted cursing.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” she cleaned her jaw tightly to silence the apparent single word she could remember in such a situatuation and tried to shift over to uncurl her right leg from under her left. “Ah!” 

“Yoba, what did you do?” It was Shane’s voice low and very close to Riley’s ear but she could barely bring herself to move more less push him away. “Can I?”

Riley peaked out of one eye and held her breath. Shane was right in front of her, Sam directly behind him and looking rather pale. Shane motioned to her foot and Riley followed his arm with her eyes, all the way down to his hand. He hesitated pulling back the folded cuff of her pant leg until she nodded and closed her eyes not to see.

“Fuck, you need a doctor.”

Riley snapped back. “No shit.” 

Shane stared her dead in the eyes for a second...and then began to laugh.

“It’s not fucking funny!” She swatted at him for effect but it jostled her body all the way down to her ankle that now _pulsed_ in rhythm of her heartbeat, worsening each time she even barely moved.

“Maybe we should take her to Harvey’s…” Sam said quietly. He looked bewildered, unsure, and very uneasy in the whole situation.

“Yeah,” Riley breathes sharply through her teeth. “You go get the doctor, I’ll just sit here and _chill_ by the freezer aisle.” As if to only make it worse, she glanced down at her newly exposed ankle and whimpered softly at the purple blotches and swollen proportions beginning to take over her injury.

“Are you just going to stare down at her or help me get her up?”

Riley looked at Shane as he barked the words harshly but he was staring at Sam who seemed to only put together the puzzle pieces right then.

Without so much as a verbal response, Sam took a handful of long steps around Riley and gripped her left arm and swung it over his neck as Shane mirrored his movements on the other side.

_Don’t do it!_

“Ow! Ow! OW!” She cried loudly as the two men hoisted her up to a standing position and all of the pain she felt prior seemed to sink into her ankle all at once, seemingly worsened with the pull of gravity.

Shane glanced at Sam — easily a head taller than him —then at Riley who barely seemed to want to put weight on her one _good_ foot.

“I’m going to feel this in the morning,” he grunted, bending down and looping an arm under Riley’s standing knee. No sooner had the farmer begun to piece together what Shane meant by _‘I’m going to feel this in the morning,’_ that he hoisted her into his arms bridal style and off the ground.

“Yoba! What are you doing?!” Riley shrieked in disbelief. Her arms reacted instinctively, wrapping tightly around Shane’s necked, terrified he’d drop her again. “Sam!”

“Are you sure you can carry her on your own?” It was unmistakably Sam’s voice that asked but Shane was already adjusting his hold on her and beginning to move.

“Just open the fucking door before I drop her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! How are you? Hanging in there? Doing well? Still got all the sanity intact?
> 
> I know I'm going a little bonkers right about now, but you know what helps?
> 
> Talking to other folks. Playing video games with other folks. Writing fanfiction with other folks. So why not join little-old-me at my very own Discord server? https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ
> 
> As always, let me know what you thought, what you liked, (and my favorite) maybe a prediction of what you think will happen next?
> 
> Positive vibes for Riley's ankle!
> 
> \- Digs


	12. Well Thank Yoba for Small Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Broken.  
> Spring.  
> Sam.  
> Shane.  
> Oye, she could already feel a headache coming...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, kids. Its gonna be a long one!

**Chapter 12: Well Thank Yoba for Small Miracles**

* * *

“You’ve definitely broken it, Ms. Peters.” Doctor Harvey, the only medical professional in town conveniently lived in the small apartment above his clinic. Riley went pale hearing the news she had been fearing. 

The doctor raised a black plastic sheet up to a white screen, and pressed a red button, turning on a light to reveal the inner workings of Riley’s ankle. 

“See this line right there?” He pointed at a thin dark line with the stylus end of his pen. “That’s the fracture.” The line ran through her bone like a child had taken a pen and drawn it with black ink. “Really is miraculous it didn’t get displaced.”

_Well thank Yoba for small miracles._

Harvey kicked a rolling chair closer to the exam table and began rifling through cabinets for cotton and gloves, dispensing them on a metal tray before moving closer to Riley and sitting on the rolling stool.

“You’ll need a cast for a couple of weeks to begin with, and I can move you to a brace after that.” As gently as he could, the doctor gave one last physical exam of her foot, seemingly noticing where her leg was swollen and bruised.

“You’re lucky rolling your ankle didn’t tear any ligaments. Then you’d need to be transferred to Zuzu for surgery.”

Riley pouted, crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance, anger, and her dismal attempts at denial.

 _Real lucky,_ she thought bitterly before physically wincing as the doctor shifted the contraption that held her foot in its proper position.

“I mean it,” Dr. Harvey stared her dead in the eye and pointed at her nose with his pen. “Usually when someone rolls their ankle in a fall, it’s ligaments and tendons that need repairing. I don’t know how you lucked out on not damaging it further walking over here, but you are really fortunate you didn’t or we’d be talking _months_ instead of _weeks.”_

 _Walking here._ Riley has heard all of Harvey’s instructions up until that point and then her mind seemed to wander. 

“I’ll give you some crutches to move around when you absolutely have to, but the best solution right now is keep it elevated, keep it still, and whatever you have to do, _don’t put weight on it._ ” Harvey adjusted his glasses, looked back at the x-ray and then at Riley’s chart. 

She knew usually Maru, his nurse, would be here for assistance, but seeing as the clinic closed at 4 and the good doctor was probably already closed up when Riley, Shane, and Sam came up to his door, she figured Maru was probably already home herself. 

_Probably for the best._ The less the town knew about her unfortunate tumble, the better off she’d be.

“Now healing-time can only be approximated, but I’d say off the foot for at least six-to-eight weeks, and then we’ll see if I can transfer you to a walking boot to give you a little more freedom.”

Eight weeks.

_Eight weeks._

_She was supposed to begin sowing in three weeks!_

“Doc, _please,”_ she tried to beg but Dr. Harvey wouldn’t have any of it.

“You stay off the foot or next time it’s going to be surgery, metal rods in your bones, and _months_ of physical therapy.”

It was hard not to swallow the terrifying thought alone.

Harvey took her foot — still locked into a splint — and propped it up onto his knee. He then proceeded to procure a thin white sock that he pulled over Riley’s foot and leg up to her knee.

“Don't be alarmed,” he spoke, seeing Riley’s hesitation. “I’ll trim it down after I wrap you up.”

She hadn’t really been worried about the cast. Her mind was still stuck on the _eight weeks_ she was supposed to be sitting or horizontal.

Harvey wrapped a thick sheet of cotton around the sock next, doubling it around some places and thinner in others, then patting it down gently with his hands.

“Any color preference, Ms. Peters?”

She blinked dumbly, connections in her brain failing to meet until the doctor motioned to her foot and she realized what he was talking about.

“Oh.” Cast. _Right._ “Purple.”

May as well get fabulous sporting this monstrosity.

* * *

Relatively early that following morning, Sam lay beside her still deep in slumber and hugging the pillow under his chest like it was a life vest. It made Riley smile, because apart from the worry and regret that tinted those dark circles under his eyes, he looked so peaceful sleeping there beside her, and she was thankful for that. 

Actually, she was so thankful for _him_ , in general. Even heartbroken and grey, he’d never stopped being a great friend to her. After the excitement of the most epic of epic failures the night before, it had been late and dark by the time Sam, Riley, _and_ Shane had made it to the farmhouse. Despite it all, he never left her side, helped her wherever he could, even going to get her a change of clothes while at the clinic when it dawned on the injured farmer that jeans and casts didn’t quite meld well. 

If she was being honest with herself, she was also thankful that Shane had tagged along too, because as it turned out living on a ranch made him surprisingly sturdy and he’d helped her several times including carrying her to the clinic, maneuvering in and out of vehicles, and half-walking half-carrying her up the few porch steps to her door.

Then he’d left for the night. Sam walked him out while the exhausted Riley resisted the urge to raid her liquor cabinet and flopped into bed. She was long gone by the time Sam made it back in the house, but when she’d woken up throughout the night, she’d been covered in a blanket, had her injury propped up on pillows and a soundly sleeping blonde beside her.

Somehow just having the slow breath and blonde waves beside her made it better.

_At least she wasn’t alone._

From beside her Sam groaned a low sound and began to stir. His eyes slowly wobbled open, and blue eyes focused hazily on her. Sam blinked slowly and lazily a couple of times, the sleep heavy and resilient in his peaceful position and fighting every inch of him to wake up.

“Good morning,” Riley spoke low and softly so as not to jostle her friend too much but still remind him that it was time to get up. Had this been a late-spring day, she’d have already been up for hours after all.

Had this been a late-spring day she’d also be even _more_ fucked with this cast on her leg but she chose not to weigh too long on that fact right then.

Sam groaned again, this time turning to the other side and stretching his back with an odd groan and strain that in any other situation would have made Riley laugh.

“What time is it?” Sam’s voice was coarse and full of sleep.

“A little after 8:30.” From across the room, Riley could already see Rosie’s tail beginning to sway with happiness and the anticipation of being let out. “I think Rosie wants to go outside.” On cue, the excitable pup rose and padded over to Riley’s side of the bed, sniffing loudly as if to say ‘ _Yes please, mommy!’_

“Yep,” Sam groaned loudly, sitting up and giving his spine another good stretch before swinging his long legs over the edge of the mattress. “Got it.”

Riley watched him walk the excited dog out of the room and smiled thinking once more how thankful she was that he stayed with her the previous evening. From the other room, the front door opened and closed and Riley faintly heard the familiar sound of Rosie’s barks from outside her bedroom window as Sam made his way back into the bedroom.

He walked over to the bed again and without missing a beat flopped his entire weight on the bed all at once, sending Riley up in a violent and frankly _painful_ bounce all too similar to the morning after the formidable _tequilapocalypse._

“Sorry.”

Half of Riley wanted to make a quip at the incident but she let it go thinking about all the other things she’d rather focus on.

“How do you shower with that thing?” Sam’s abrupt question pulled Riley from her thoughts and brought her back to the present. He was awake now, those baby blues looking at her with a similar level of gratitude that she felt herself. He motioned towards the purple monstrosity with his chin. Riley’s cast sat there tall and bright like a trophy propped up on pillows, like a king sitting on a throne. Unfortunately, it was a throne that promised her weeks of headaches and difficulty, but she had no choice in the matter now.

She hadn’t even considered what showering with that _thing_ would entail. “Very, very carefully, I presume.” Definitely would require a google search or call to the good Doc in town to investigate. “You’ve broken bones before, haven’t you?”

“I broke my arm when I was Vincent’s age. Fell out of a tree — but never a leg or ankle. That was enough of a pain in the ass to keep dry in the shower and I at least had my mom to help. A leg is a whole different story.”

Riley made a face. It was surprising to hear Sam hadn’t had more hospital visits with his energy level and favorite hobbies involving wheels. It was also mildly off-putting to know even _he_ realized the next couple of weeks ahead we’re going to be an uphill battle for the ill-prepared farmer.

Beside her, Riley’s phone buzzed with the sound of its vibration against the wooden bedside table top. Riley glanced at Sam again, skeptical. “You told your mom you were staying here tonight, right?” She knew Jodie was still worried about her son after witnessing him crumble only a week earlier.

“Yeah, I told her I was crashing on your couch, why?”

Riley shifted herself to recline on her elbows and reach her phone with as little jostling to her leg as possible. To her surprise, the message on her phone was from an unrecognized number.

> > > > **Today at 8:32AM**
>>>> 
>>>> **How are you feeling this morning?**

Riley felt her brows crease together and eyes narrow.

“What’s up?” Sam moved closer to peer over at Riley’s phone in curiosity. “Who’s texting you?”

“I don’t know,” she spoke quietly trying to rummage through her memories for anyone that she may have recently given her number to. When she _and_ Sam both came short, however, she figured it was best to be upfront and just ask the stranger for an identity.

> > > > **Sorry, I don’t have your contact saved.** **  
> ****Who is this?**

The response was quick, saving Riley too much more time to worry.

> > > > **It’s Shane.**

That time Riley’s brows _did_ rise. Sam rose slightly and peeked over her shoulder in curiosity, also raising a brow seeing Shane’s name pop up.

> > > > **Sam gave me your number last night before I left.**
>>>> 
>>>> **In case you needed anything or whatever.**

“You gave him my number?!” Her voice rose louder and sharper than before.

From beside her Sam immediately began to turn pink in the face and retreat as if preparing for an onslaught and doing all he could to put some distance between them before she attacked. 

“I'm so sorry, I completely _forgot,_ ” he admitted truthfully. “You were already fast asleep by the time I came back in!” He had a point with that. “I figured he’s a lot closer than I am so if you had an emergency, maybe it would be a good idea to have his number.” It sounded great _in theory._ But Sam giving Shane _her_ number didn’t exactly line up with the excuse of _‘in case of emergency’_ on Riley’s end. Sam hadn’t thought that far though, and was much more focused on blocking any forthcoming attacks than explaining his faulty reasoning any further.

In all truth, Riley _would_ have probably smacked him or thrown a pillow if she’d been feeling better. But with the dull throb in her ankle beginning to resurface and the exhaustion of the previous night's events still heavy in her eyes, she gave up before even starting.

> > > > **Today at 8:37AM**
>>>> 
>>>> **I’m okay. A little sore.**

She threw Sam the evil eye from across the room as he stood up and made his way out of the bedroom, Rosie following quickly behind him with a happy wag of her tail. Even from bed, Riley could picture the pup circling around his legs as he raided her refrigerator. Riley only hoped he would set the coffee maker as well.

Actually…

“Sam!” She called out loudly with her phone still in hand. “Set the coffee maker!”

> > > > **Well I’d imagine breaking ankles leaves you sore**

To her surprise, and that little remark made Riley smile.

> > > > **Yeah, they’re not enjoying the cast either**
>>>> 
>>>> **They? You broke two ankles now?**

“What are you smiling at?” Sam re-emerged into the room with a glass of water in one hand and a bottle of Tylenol in the other looking mildly amused by the smile on his friend’s face and feeding off that glee himself.

“Thanks,” Riley responded, taking the water and painkillers from him and clearly avoiding the question. Luckily for her, Sam was a morning person. Once he was up, he was _up_ and active and already racing to ten targets at once.

“I’m gonna go take a shower.” Sam announced rather awkwardly. “Do you need help getting to the kitchen?”

Riley shook her head and Sam hastily walked away towards the bathroom, the door closing loudly behind him. She wasted no time going back to the other conversation she’d been having.

> > > > **No smart ass. Just the one.**

She paused. Whether or not some strange tidings had passed between them, she very clearly did remember Shane carrying her to the clinic and waiting with Sam in the waiting room. And for that, she owed him a thank you at the very least.

> > > > **Thank you for yesterday**

It sounded so insincere though. Like she was thanking him for bringing her a glass of water or something, and not physically carrying her to the clinic so she wouldn’t displace her ankle. Riley began her best attempt at another more thoughtful _‘thanks’_ when Shane texted her again.

> > > > **Don’t thank me yet.**

Riley barely had a minute to question the odd comment when the door knocked loudly from the front of the farm house. From outside of the bedroom window the farmer heard Rosie barking but it wasn’t the definitive bark she typically gave people she didn’t recognize or trust. Riley narrowed her eyes on her crutches at the opposite end of the bedroom, to the doorway that led towards the front of the farmhouse. 

_Ugh._

Figuring out how to maneuver from her bed to the crutches on the opposite end of the room took some creativity, but once she was mobile on the two death poles, it didn’t take long for her to realize she’d probably have been better off hopping on one foot.

Except for maybe the possibility of falling and breaking something else.

Another loud knock and Riley grunted loudly as the pain began to resurface and become more pronounced with each hop she took.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” the lonesome farmer tried to call over to the door. _Just gotta wait three years as I cross the house._

In the shortest steps she could manage, Riley finally made it to the door without losing her balance and just before the person on the other side could knock a third time. 

“If you’re a salesman, I’m gonna kick your ass for making me walk over here!”

Except the door didn’t open to a salesman or elaborate prank, but _Shane._

And Marnie.

 _And_ Jas.

Shane blinked once, just staring and not offering any conversation which luckily no one had to wait long for because Marnie piped right up with a well spirited and chipper “Good morning, neighbor!”

Riley’s eyes shifted between Marnie, Shane, Jas, and the large woven basket the male of the trio carried. 

“Shane!” Marnie quickly gave her nephew a small push forward before anyone could say anything else. “Don’t just stand there! Help Riley to get in the house so we can get some food in her and see what needs to get done.”

 _Needs to get done?_

Shane moved in first, helping the unstable farmer balance on her crutches first then changing to offering her his arm so she could hobble the rest of the way to her dining table. Marnie quickly got to work emptying the basket and Riley felt her mouth water as muffins and bread and what looked like a feast for the next week came out in assorted containers and bags and littered her counter.

Shane leaned in close and spoke low enough that his aunt wouldn’t hear. “So I told Marnie what happened last night and she figured you wouldn’t be very mobile for a couple of days so she baked you some things to tide you over a couple of days.” He sat in the seat beside her as Rosie who followed behind them, sniffed at Jas’s shoes, earning a loud giggle from the young girl.

“Didn’t Sam warn you about this?” From off in the distance, Riley could still hear the shower running and wished somewhere in her mind that the water would run cold just for the purpose of making him squeal.

“I guess he forgot,” she said absently.

_Maybe he should have written it on his hand._

“Well no point in fussing over spilled milk now.” Marnie quickly shifted into work mode as if Riley were her own child. “Shane, go check on the animals. Feed the chickens and ducks. Is your silo well stocked, dear? I didn’t even _think_ about bringing you some hay. Shame on me.”

Her head was spinning. “Uhhh...yeah, it’s stocked. But it’s really not-”

Shane nodded and stood from his seat without so much as waiting for the farmer to finish her sentence and was out the door before Riley could find a good excuse. From the other end of the house, Riley heard the water cut off and Marnie snapped her attention to the sound too before raising a brow at Riley.

“That’s just Sam.” As if that clarified anything. Marnie’s brow only rose higher seemingly connecting the dots between young-single-woman and young-single-man-in-shower in an equation she was missing one big unknown in. “He spent the night on my couch since Doctor Harvey said I could have a concussion.” She lied through her teeth as convincingly as possible. _Good save._

Marnie still seemed skeptical but didn’t voice her opinions, turning instead back to the baked goods she was stocking in Riley’s pantry and refrigerator and what was smelling deliciously like an omelet.

“When my nephew told me what happened, I knew we had to come be good neighbors and help you out, at least until you get a little more mobile.”

 _I don’t deserve neighbors like you._

“You should have seen him last night. So _worried_ about you. Couldn’t stop talking about it.” Marnie turned off the stove and brought over the frying pan in her hand, the blackened metal overflowing with fluffy scrambled eggs and chopped vegetables. “Now I didn’t put any peppers in here, but I saw you had some jarred in your refrigerator.” Marnie began scooping eggs onto several plates as she spoke. “My nephew _loves_ peppers, you know. It’s a miracle he hasn’t burnt a hole in his stomach with how much spice he can eat in a single sitting.” 

Footsteps began their way towards the kitchen and all eyes including Rosie looked up just in time to spot Sam walking in towel over his head and shirt still looped lazily around his neck. “Hey Riley, do you…” Sam trailed off mid sentence upon lowering the towel and noticing multiple eyes all hone in on him. “Uh…”

“Hey, thanks for the warning, _friend._ ” Riley accentuated the last word for emphasis and watched Sam’s eyes widen in recognition. She was used to things going forgotten or escaping Sam’s mind, but they didn’t typically involve early morning visits at _her_ house. Nor did they typically involve him half-dressed in her kitchen and all the intricacies that came with explaining that situation.

“Well,” Marnie clapped her hands together loudly and Sam used the distraction to quickly pull the rest of his shirt on. “Go help Shane with the animals and I’ll make a place for you too.”

Sam nodded awkwardly with his face only reddening further and without so much as another word grabbed his shoes and did as the older woman requested.

“Jas sweetie, why don’t you go play with Rosie outside? You can go tell your godfather breakfast is almost ready.”

Riley could already feel the anxiety in her stomach bubble up in anticipation of a discussion that clearly wasn’t meant for the young girl’s ears. Jas did as requested, giggling excitedly as Rosie barked and nudged her before racing the child to the door and outside. The door closed loudly behind them and finally there was quiet.

Marnie remained silent for a few minutes, toasting bread and pouring coffee into two mugs before bringing it over to the table and sitting beside Riley. The older woman gave her a warm smile but Riley braced herself for she imagined was a forthcoming conversation.

“So,” Marnie began awkwardly. “I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that my nephew has taken a liking to you.”

_Yep. There it was._

“You’re the first person in this town I’ve seen him get so flustered by. He really likes you.”

_Don’t turn red. Keep your cool. Think of slugs and snails and garden snakes._

“Are you in a relationship with Sam?”

It took all of Riley’s willpower not to choke on her coffee with that one. She sputtered slightly and Marnie handed her a napkin with a raised brow, awaiting verbal communication. 

“No,” Riley sputtered out unevenly. “I promise, there’s nothing between us. He’s like a brother to me.” She barely spoke to her brother but a handful of times out of the year, but she figured Marnie didn’t need to know that detail. “Besides,” Riley started again choosing her words delicately. “Sam has his eyes set on someone else.”

_If that someone can ever make up for breaking his heart._

Marnie twitched her nose and looked at the younger woman for a minute longer. After seeing that Riley’s story wasn’t changing, she nodded and took another sip of her coffee. From outside, the sounds of Rosie’s barking and Jas’s laughs eased some of the awkward silence, but only marginally.

Riley could feel a tightening in her chest and a thought swimming in her head, growing and expanding the longer she focused on it and threatening to all spew out at once if she didn’t speak soon. So she did.

“Can I ask you a question?” Despite it only being the two of them within ear-shot, the young woman couldn’t help but lower her voice. “Shane...some days he’s friendly and nice…” _and kissing me…_ “...but other days it’s like he’s avoiding me.”

Marnie’s face notably fell.

“I mean, I really thought on New Years Eve we had something…”

“New Years?” Marnie seemed taken back by the mention of New Years. Her eyes locked on Riley’s a moment longer and the longer she stared the more Riley began to identify recognition in the older woman’s face. “You were with him on the pier on New Years Eve.”

“Uh,” she hadn’t actually thought anything of that detail. “Yes, I ran into him on my way home that night.” Riley’s memory floated back to that night and the _kiss_ that sent her through a tailspin.

Marnie’s expression shifted between sadness, surprise, recognition, and then something that Riley couldn’t place. She waited for the older woman to offer more information but when Marnie remained silent, Riley figured it was her place to say something.

“Anyways,” she changed the route quickly. “I don’t really think he’s interested. I get the impression he’s been avoiding me the past couple of weeks.”

Marnie’s face visibly fell. 

“Riley,” Marnie began before pausing. She chose her words carefully and seemed to stumble every one she picked. Marnie took a long deep breath, focusing on the bottom of her coffee mug as she pondered her word choice. “I’m sure you’ve noticed or heard around town that Shane…” she hesitated. “Has some alcohol problems?”

Abigail’s face popped to the top of her mind but she brushed it away.

“It wasn’t so bad at the beginning. Just on the really bad nights. But lately…” Marnie’s voice audibly broke but Riley didn’t need her to finish the sentence to know what she was trying to say.

_‘It just feels like you’re stuck in some miserable abyss and you’re so deep you can’t even see the light of day.’_

He’d told her those words the night of New Years Eve, just before he’d kissed her. They had initially seemed like just a low moment in time -- a dark cloud that had just passed overhead but would blow away soon enough. She hadn’t actually considered that those dark clouds were a normal weather pattern. She hadn’t thought what someone would do just to try and numb that away.

“I don’t want to dissuade you from having a friendship with my nephew. I know somewhere in there he’s still that sweet little boy that always looked out for his sister. I just wanted to make sure you knew, it’s not always pretty. He drinks so much to hide what’s going on. He has good days and bad, but if he tries to push you away, it's probably because he wishes you’d stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Whew!* That was a long one!
> 
> What did you think? What did you like? And future predictions?
> 
> Leave me a comment to let me know because I thrive off the feedback and love to know how everyone is interpreting my stories. 
> 
> If you guys could only SEE what this chapter originally was going to be like before I redid it...actually, you could! If you join my Discord server! You know what else you could do if you join my server? Say hello, help me occasionally brainstorm, get sneak peeks, and come to realize I'm actually insane deep inside because I write these stories in the strangest of conditions and locales. 
> 
> Server invite: https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ
> 
> Toodles! Don't forget to leave me a little love!  
> \- Digs


	13. Here's to the Good Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley is left alone with Shane and the two have a quiet little talk.
> 
> But when that talk bring up some curious ideas, it becomes clear that she'll be seeing a lot more of her new 'friend' soon.
> 
> (Also, teenie tiniest mention of a Stardew Expanded character just cause she kind of fit and, Yay! Mods!)

**Chapter 13: Here’s to the Good Days**

* * *

They had stayed all day. Shane cared for the animals in the morning with a dismal attempt from Sam as his second hand. Then all five of them, plus Rosie, had shared a big breakfast and resumed work after. Marnie wouldn’t let Riley so much as stand, but helped the young farmer to the porch where she promptly demanded the young woman keep her leg elevated and propped a stool beneath the heavy purple monster she bore.

It was a little surreal watching Shane, Sam, Marnie and occasionally Jas working on her fields while Riley stayed stationary. They began clearing land, taking inventory of scarecrows and fence posts that needed repairing, and testing out the sprinklers to figure out which would need replacement before the first seeds could be planted.

Jas did an excellent job of watching over the hens, commenting more than once how they were almost as nice as Shane’s. Rosie, the excellent family dog she was, took great pride and what seemed like excellent amusement in watching over her young, human charge and making sure none of the hens escaped Jas’s view.

Meanwhile, Marnie took stock of each stretch of land and created a list of all the seeds Riley would need to order from Pierre’s that week to have them in time for planting.

And before everyone knew it, it was lunch. Then lunch turned into afternoon, afternoon turned into sunset and Jas began to yawn right around the time that Sam proclaimed if he didn’t get home soon, he’d have to be dragged back to his house by his feet. (And possibly that he would be sore for the next year of his life but no one took that too seriously.)

Marnie packed up some of what she hadn’t intended to leave behind and left Shane with instructions to bring home the rest. Sam took off shortly after, wincing with each step he took but putting on a big smile for what Riley figured was her sake. 

Maybe the long day made a good distraction for him. Just before the sky began to darken with nightfall, Marnie set off with Jas in hand. That left just Shane and Riley, finishing the leftover sandwiches for dinner on Riley’s porch and watching the dark sky slowly get speckled in luminous stardust. It was beautiful. _Peaceful._ Potentially _romantic_...if she weren’t restricted to the chair because her leg was in a massive purple cast.

Shane returned from the house after putting away dishes and stepped out onto the porch with something in his hand.

_A beer maybe?_

He pulled up a seat beside Riley and sat in it without so much as a word spoken.

“Cold one to end the night?” She figured that’s what it was. Shane met her eye, seemed confused for a moment and then held up what he’d been carrying: _a water bottle._

“Oh.” Now who was stupid? Riley felt her face heat. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to insinuate anything…” to her surprise, Shane burst a wide smile of amusement.

“It’s fine,” he laughed sitting back and if even possible, moving closer to her. “I probably deserve it anyway.”

Oof. That one hit her square in the chest.

“I’ve been trying to cut back.” Shane spoke the words so quietly, Riley almost didn’t hear them. “For Jas’s sake.”

It was the smallest of announcements, barely a handful of syllables. And yet, those few choice words resonated with the power they brought.

“You’re not drinking anymore?” She hadn’t actually meant to question Shane about it but rather just clarify. The minute she asked that question and Shane looked her in the eyes, something shifted. He smiled. Faintly. _Slowly._

She became hyper aware of their proximity and his hand only an inch from hers on the stool she sat on. It made her uneasy, queasy, and _warm_ all simultaneously, and she wasn’t sure if she hated the feeling or _craved_ it like a long lost desire.

She turned her attention to the stars instead, like diamond dusting the black sky above them.

“You can’t see the stars like this in Zuzu, can you?” Shane’s voice was warm and steady; _comfortable._

Riley smiled and felt some of the anxiety bubbling in her stomach dissipate. “No, you really can’t.” It was so weird thinking about Zuzu and the life she’d had back then. It had been such a change when she’d left her city life behind and started this new one in the valley, and yet...now she couldn’t imagine ever going back.

“When I moved here with Jas, I _hated_ the small town. Like everyone always knew who you were, where you were, and what you were doing. There wasn’t anywhere in town where I could be anonymous or be alone it felt.” 

“And now?” Riley could feel more of that proclamation coming. 

Shane took a long, drawn-out inhale and equally paced exhale through his nose. “Now...I think it’s good for Jas. It’s a good place for her to grow up. I could see her living here until her adulthood even. This is the kind of place her and her quiet demeanor will thrive in.”

It was a beautiful sentiment hearing Shane thinking about his god-daughter, and imagining her future like any respectable parent would. Yet…

“What about you?” Riley asked.

Shane met her eyes that time and something seemed to shift in the warmth he once had. Clouds eclipsed some of the light that had been there previously. “Me?” He questioned incredulously. “I…”

He... _what?_

Shane went silent for a moment but didn’t look away from her. That single second in time in which he thought of the best response to give her seemed to drag on into eternity and somehow both drew Riley in and push her away all simultaneously. 

“...I can’t really see anything for me.”

If someone were to imagine that split-second feeling you experience when glass shatters on the ground — the millisecond of fear you feel wondering what had broken and was no longer — it was the exact same feeling Riley felt the minute Shane’s smooth lips uttered that word.

“...I don’t think I can picture myself living here, in the city, or anywhere.” He broke their eye contact then and Riley felt herself finally take the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

“Nothing?” She questioned. His only response was a shrug of the shoulders. 

_Nothing._

He saw _nothing_ ahead of him. Not a life here, a life there, or a life anywhere in-between.

“Sorry, I really didn’t mean to drag you down with that.”

Riley shook her head as if that word wasn’t still echoing in her soul.

_Nothing._

“I guess I just can’t see myself past the here and now. As if I’m never going to move on from this specific moment. Maybe I’m not supposed to.”

She wasn’t sure if that made it any better, or only so much _worse._

“Okay,” Shane clapped his hands together and shifted in his seat as if physically shifting gears in this train of discussion. “I’ve done enough to ruin this surprisingly good day so maybe we should change subjects. Tell me about Sam.”

 _“Sam?”_ That was a direction Riley wouldn’t have seen coming if she were thirty feet into the sky and had an aerial view of her entire life. 

“Jas seems convinced the two of you are..” Shane made air quotes with his fingers to emphasize the next few words. _“In love and going to get married.”_

Riley did physically laugh aloud at that one. Shane’s smiles seemed to wonder at her glee and he chuckled too, feeding off her amusement.

“There is nothing even remotely romantic between me and Sam.” She recalled a similar discussion she’d had with Marnie that morning. “He’s my best friend, and really more like family at this point.”

Family. Yup. That was pretty much what they were now.

“Good, so that pregnancy test really wasn’t for you and a future Donovan child?”

Riley froze. 

“From the night we met?” Shane offered some assistance to recalling that night.

The pregnancy test. 

Joja Mart.

Falling in a pile of condoms.

“You remember that?” She asked incredulously. 

Shane threw her a mischievous smirk. “A guy doesn’t usually forget a pretty girl running into them in the middle of the condom aisle and then subsequently helping her shoplift a pregnancy test.”

Right. _True._ “Fair enough,” she offered. 

Shane was still waiting, though. He was waiting as if Riley hadn’t answered the _real_ question he’d been asking when he’d brought up Sam. 

“I’m not seeing anyone,” Riley admitted. She could physically see Shane’s eyes soften at the announcement. “And that test really _wasn’t_ for me.” This time he truly believed her. 

Shane looked as if a weight had been lifted or he’d just been given the ‘all-clear’ to move forward with some master plan he had.

She half expected him to ask her something _else_ about her love life right then and there but to her mild surprise and some disappointment, he remained quiet.

“Can I ask you something?” Riley asked aloud after several minutes of quiet contemplation. Shane seemed comfortable enough to be ready for such a question and nodded his approval. “You said today was a _‘surprisingly good day,_ ’” she quoted carefully. “Why did you think it wouldn’t be?”

“Not after yesterday,” he quipped sarcastically. He glanced at Riley and noticed she was still missing something. Shane stared and her and furrowed his brows as if she should already know that answer. “Sam didn’t tell you?”

Obviously Riley _had_ missed something after all. The shake of her head seemed surprisingly to Shane and he chewed on the words for a moment before offering up his response.

“I lost my job.”

She had not been prepared for _that_ and knew full well the look of shock on her face gave it all away. “He didn’t tell me that.”

To her surprise, Shane seemed more curious than upset. “He didn’t tell you?”

 _About you?_ She thought to herself. “No.”

Shane was incredulous. “Joja Mart is closing. We all lost our jobs. Sam, me, Claire, all the employees that worked there. The whole store went out of business and yesterday was our last day.”

All she could do was blink and think.

Last day.

Yesterday.

_How the fuck had Sam never told her this?_

“I swear, I thought that’s why you met him at work yesterday.”

Riley was still processing the _‘I thought he’d told you’_ bit, however.

“I found out a couple of weeks ago but I’m sure Morris told his part-time employees at least a few days in advance.”

_He might have, but apparently Sam hadn’t remembered to inform her of this._

“Honestly, for a while it was really bad. I mean it’s not like there are a lot of work opportunities this far in the valley. Pelican Town only has one store now, and a clinic. The career opportunities are slim-to-none. But yesterday just kind of changed things.”

“Falling on my ass and breaking an ankle _‘changed things’_?” she quipped with a tease.

“Not that,” Shane offered lamely. “I don’t know if I really have an explanation. Just at the end of the day, being useful somehow, _helpful_...it made it bearable.”

Riley could understand that. She wasn’t sure she liked what it meant or that Shane was measuring his own self-worth in how _useful_ he was to others around him, but she could understand the satisfaction a person felt from making a difference.

“So what are you going to do now?” She hadn’t meant for it to be a question that reminded him he no longer had a steady income so she added in a few more words in attempts to lighten the question. “Now that your nine-to-five grey hell has been dispelled and you're free to roam all the wonders of the valley?”

Shane smirked then looked down at the hands as if admitting defeat. “I don’t know. Look for another job I guess. Maybe on another farm or ranch further out of town.”

Something went off just then in Riley’s mind. Something loud and musical, like an alarm or siren or even just a damn _sign_ from the heavens she hadn’t even realized she’d been waiting to hear until that very second.

He needed a job.

He had experience on a ranch.

He was good with his hands and animals from everything she could tell.

And she was out-of-commission for the foreseeable future.

All the stars were aligning in a very rare, very unexpected fashion.

“What about here?” She blurted abruptly.

Shane turned to her, cocked a brow and tilted his head in either confusion or disbelief. “Here?” he questioned.

It was almost too perfect, too opportunistic and much, _much_ too well planned for there not to be some higher order at work here. “Come work on Honey Hills Farms.” Yes. _Yes!_ “I need the help now. Hell, I was thinking about looking for a farm hand _last year_ when I was perfectly fine. Now I’m out of commission thanks to _this…”_ she waved a hand at the purple cast propped up before them. “...and spring has arrived and I have no way of making it through the season without some full-time help.” She felt like she had just run a marathon with such an announcement and had to catch her breath. “Come work _for me._ ”

Shane simply stared at Riley for a long, dark moment. He didn’t say anything, didn’t make any expressions, and only blinked when he absolutely had to.

Riley waited. 

And waited.

And the longer she waited for some response, _any_ response from him, the less she started to believe in her luck with all this impeccable timing. Finally, after what felt like the longest pregnant pause she’d ever have to endure, Shane spoke up.

“You want _me_ to come work for _you_ ?” Even _he_ sounded doubtful repeating her idea. Riley couldn’t give up now, however. She nodded her head and wore the best, most believable smile she could muster and waited again for a long silence before Shane could come up with an answer.

“That doesn’t sound like a horrible idea to you? At all?”

Good grief, even she was regretting coming to this conclusion now. Still, she held strong and Shane seemed to warm up further to the idea with every minute that passed.

“Okay.”

Riley blinked. “Okay?” She almost doubted her own ears after so much doubt.

Shane smiled and raised his water bottle to her like he was toasting to something grand and miraculous. 

_And maybe he was._

“Okay,” he repeated. “What time do you want me here?”

Today was _most definitely_ **a good day.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniff* *sniff*
> 
> Can you smell it? The waft of flowers in the air? The humidity of rain clouds? Spring is coming, folks! And with it are some interesting progresses in both Riley/Shane's relationship...and Sam/Sebastian's falling out.  
> Eeek! I can't wait!  
> Tell me what you're excited to finally see in future installments and you'll never know what it can inspire!
> 
> Just wanted to really quickly say a special “Thank you!!!” to Waffles for being a fabulous cheerleader, brainstorming junkie, and beta reader for my chapters as of late. I think we’d still be moving at a snails pace and I’d have rewritten chapter 10 another 300 times by now. You are fab. Thank you. <3  
> \- Digs
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------  
> Connect with me via discord!
> 
> My very own server----> https://discord.gg/k9dz3xX
> 
> Or just little-old-me @ Diggy#8168
> 
> Also I have a half-dead twitter: @Lizzir


	14. We're on the Clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Shane's first week on the job at Honey Hills Farm - and it's off to an interesting start when Riley runs behind schedule. As the week went on and the two find themselves growing closer together however, things warm up between them.
> 
> If only things were going as well for Sam...

**Chapter 14: We’re on the Clock**

* * *

Shane arrived at Riley’s front door on Monday morning at 6:30, beating even the sunrise. Normally she’d have been up and mobile and already in the fields by that time. However, she’d _vastly_ underestimated how long it took to get ready in the morning when she relied on crutches and hopping from one place to another, all on her own.

She hadn’t even managed to get dressed yet when Shane was already knocking on her door, a fact that became abundantly clear when she’d finally opened it and was met with Shane who promptly gave her a generous once over before blushing. She hadn’t thought her pajamas were all that scandalous. It was a ratty old shirt that well covered her ass and a pair of short shorts that in retrospect, couldn’t _really_ be seen from under the t-shirt. Evidentially it was more than enough to make Shane flustered, however, because he was turning deeper and deeper pink by the time he realized Riley was waiting for him to say something.

“Am I early?” He checked his wrist — which didn’t even _have_ a watch on it — then blushed even more. “I don't know why I did that. I don’t even _own_ a watch.”

None the less it broke the tension and made Riley laugh so she hobbled off to the side and invited him in. “Nope, you’re just in time. I’m the one running late. These damn things are slowing me down.” He thankfully helped her the rest of the way in where Rosie greeted him with a happy wag and playful whine. “If you want to start by feeding the hens and cleaning out their water, that’d be great.”

He did just that, leaving her to get dressed and wasting no time to begin his outlined duties.

By the time Riley _did_ manage to put on some appropriate clothes, a single shoe, and make her way to her porch-side seating, Shane was already done with the chickens. The happy little hens giving off soft little clucks and coos making him smile as he watched them gather around his feet.

There was something very charming about seeing Shane interact with animals.

After that Shane started on the much less glamorous sprinklers, digging up the broken units and marking the lines with neon orange markers.

By the end of the week, the farm almost looked as if it were ready to _be_ an actual farm and not just unmarked empty fields. It was miraculous, really. Her field was almost as good as if she’d done it herself — and she’d sat her ass on that porch the entire week. Shane and Sam had made sure of that fact.

Late Friday afternoon while Sam was off ordering a pizza in celebration of the first week in the books, Riley sat with Shane on the porch overlooking their handy work. Or Shane’s, rather. Sam had been a bit more emotional support and her personal babysitter rather than much of a help, but she still appreciated his efforts.

Now Shane...Riley had to give him props. He’d just about killed himself on her fields and never once complained about it. Of all the times she’d seen him at Joja or heard about him from Sam, he’d come off as mediocre at best, and downright lazy at worst. But on her farm...that was different.

“What about _that,”_ Shane motioned towards the greenhouse just west of the house. Riley frowned. It had been the one project she’d managed to _somehow_ get up and running just before winter rolled in the previous year. She’d managed to get the glass all replaced and door hinges repaired and even the water hooked up to the makeshift basin inside so she wouldn’t constantly need to run out to refill her watering can. She had planned to finish it in the spring so she could grow seasonal favorites all year round.

“That’s going to have to wait till _this,”_ She motioned at her leg propped up on the porch rail. “Comes off.”

Shane seemed to twitch his nose at that. 

“I could take a look at it if you’d like.” He was smiling wide then must have realized it because he started to go pink in the face again. “If that’s what you want, I mean.”

It was cute how bashful he was when he noticed he was being charming. The greenhouse was far from the list of Riley’s priorities however. “Nah, It’s okay.” She shrugged it off only mildly dejectedly. “Right now my priority is get the fields ready for seeds, fences replaced or repaired, all the remaining sprinkler lines hooked up.” She paused. “ _And_ make sure my chicken coop auto-doors are working properly.”

Shane nodded but didn’t add to her list and she wondered for a brief moment if he thought this was a list of chores she was giving him as an employee or just sharing personally as a friend.

“Maybe I should get more chickens,” Riley said absently. From her viewpoint, she could just barely make out a few of her hens picking at the ground in their enclosure.

“If you want chickens, you should wait a couple of weeks until the next generation of eggs hatch.” He gave her a tale-tell smirk. “I have a special batch in the works.”

_Was he flirting?_

“Really?” Riley was intrigued either way and found herself instinctively leaning in closer. “What makes them so special?”

Shane didn’t shy away. “ _I_ raised them.”

At that Riley smacked him playfully on the arm and Shane laughed loudly into the spring air. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” He tried to defend himself but the laughter on his face and teasing tone told Riley this was _exactly_ what he’d expected from her. “I’ve been trying to breed some of my favorite hens the past year or so for a few specific genetic properties.”

It was mildly surprising to hear such eloquent language from him. Kind of intriguing. A little sexy.

“Their eggs aren’t the largest, but you haven’t seen a true- _blue_ rich egg until you’ve had one laid by one of my hens.”

Riley giggled again and Shane seemed to be captivated by something. He stared at her with a look of near wonder, not verbalizing anything but following her with his eyes like she could disappear at any moment’s notice.

“What?” She asked, feeling his eyes warm her up from beneath her skin and not sure if she wanted it to stop, or to progress.

Shane blinked and immediately began to turn pink with a blush. “I should go,” he announced and began to stand before Riley grabbed his arm.

“Wait.” 

He’d gone still as soon as she’d touched him but Shane didn’t look at her directly. Like he didn’t think he could handle making eye contact again. Like doing so would somehow would bespell him again.

“Shane?” Her voice was lower and she tried to tug him to face her because she wanted to see what he thought. Shane seemed to almost shiver with each movement of her fingers on his arm. “What’s wrong?”

“You only paid me till three. I should probably go home now.”

That wasn’t exactly an answer, especially not one she was looking for. “I didn’t mean work.”

“Then what did you mean, Riley?” It was like a switch going off. Shane went from charming and flirtatious to defensive and argumentative. She didn’t like it, but she also figured it was a sign of something worse.

“I...” She found herself at a loss for words. “Can I only spend time with you when you’re on the clock?”

Shane’s damned _green_ eyes bore into hers with a challenge behind them. He didn’t lean in or move any closer. Rather, she could see something fading behind that vibrant green before he even spoke.

“Stay and have some pizza with me...and Sam.” She’d almost forgotten he was on the way there with a pie until she’d mentioned the pizza. The mention of a third party did nothing to persuade Shane however as he began to retreat further taking one well placed step down from her porch, hands in his pockets.”

“I have to go,” and without so much as a second glance he turned away and walked south towards Cindersap Forest. Riley watched him walk away until the blue of his hoodie disappeared down the overgrown path and felt her heart drop further into her chest with every step he took.

Luckily enough, Riley didn’t have to dwell on her rejection long because not a minute later the sound of crunching gravel beneath footsteps rose from the east and Riley turned to find Sam approaching. He carried a boxed pizza and bag of bottled drinks in one hand, and skateboard in the other.

“Hey,” she plastered on her best smile and offered it to her friend. Sam met her eye but didn’t smile. In fact, it was very evident something was bothering him. 

_Now what?_

Sam approaches her quietly enough and she could tell he was mulling over _something_ in his mind as he made his way up to her. He opened his mouth to say something then looked around and frowned. “Hey Wait, where’s Shane?”

“He went home,” she responded with a frown. “Your turn: why the long face?”

Sam hesitated. He twitched his nose, put his skateboard to lean against the wall and took a long exhale. “I ran into Sebastian.”

Oh. 

“He didn’t look good.” Sam muttered the last sentence as he entered through the front door, leaving Riley sitting alone on the porch. It felt like her head was spinning.

“Sam!” She called out to her friend who made no move to help her inside or offered any further conversation. Riley grunted loudly grabbing her crutches and pulling herself up and out of her seat.

“You’re an ass for not even helping me in!” She called for him again as she took a few wobbly steps inside and pushed the door closed behind her. Sam was already sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his head in his hands and elbows propped on his knees.

It made her heart ache and stomach drop.

Riley moved up close beside him and as gently as she could, let herself drop into the sofa. Sam didn’t even look at her and she had a moment of pause in which she wondered if he was crying.

“He didn’t look good, Riles.” Sam looked at her that time and he wasn’t crying yet but the scratchiest of his voice and red in his eyes didn’t look like he was that far off from it either. “I mean I could just tell something is off and I just keep thinking this is _my_ fault. If something happens to him…” Sam didn’t finish the sentence but the sheer look of terror in his glance filled in the missing words for him. 

“This is exactly the reason I didn’t want to risk it in the first place.” He stared at her solidly, those usual bright and shiny blue eyes seeming so dull and clouded by darkness and regret. “If he does something — gets hurt, makes a bad choice, or just goes down that _hole_ again, who’s going to pull him out this time? Abigail? Do you really think she knows everything he’s been through? Or about his dad? Or why he’s so hell bent on making sure everyone forgets that he has red hair and freckles under that shit he wears? This isn’t stuff he tells people — this isn’t even stuff _I_ should be telling you. There’s so much stuff that only I know that no one else is ever…” Sam’s voice cracked at exactly that moment in the long dialogue and Riley saw the floodgates burst before there was even a crack. 

“This is stupid, isn’t it? I’m being absolutely selfish and stupid.”

“Sammy…” Riley tried to convince him otherwise but Sam didn’t give her much of a chance.

“No,” he argued. “I am. I really am. I’m sitting here assuming that he’s never going to find someone he trusts like he trusts me but for all I know he’s told Abigail everything or some other girl.”

Sam said the words with a voice that was steady and sure. Despite it, Riley got the impression he didn’t _actually_ believe it himself. Maybe it was her intuition kicking in, or just the fact that she knew _Sam_ enough by now to understand when he was trying to talk himself into something. 

“Do you honestly believe that, though?” She asked him after a moment of contemplation.

Sam made a face that twitched his nose. He opened his mouth as if to respond then faltered and closed it again.

_Did he?_

“Do you actually think Sebastian, your _best friend_ who rarely trusts anyone, would tell any odd girl all the things you’ve been through?”

“Abby isn’t some random girl.” Sam’s voice was much quieter. “He’s known her longer than he’s known me.” There was something in the way he said the last few words that made it sound as if he wasn’t finishing his entire thought.

“But….?” Riley offered.

Sam was quiet. He silently, deliberately fidgeted and delayed the conversation further as if he needed the time to convince himself of whatever it was he wanted to say.

“She wasn’t _there_ when we were teenagers.” His voice was barely over a whisper. “I mean, she _was,_ but she wasn’t in the same grade as us, didn’t hang out with us, she wasn’t in Sebastian’s life like that.” Riley knew then and there whatever Sam was talking about now was probably something no one else beside he or Sebastian probably knew.

She wasn’t even sure _she_ should be hearing it.

“Riles, you can’t ever mention this to anyone.” Same turned to look her in the eye. “I mean _no one.”_

She knew the heaviness of such a request and nodded solemnly so Sam took a deep breath and wrung his hands together. “You know Sebastians had some…” he made a motion with his hands as if trying to find the most delicate terminology. “... _mental_ issues. Struggles. Problems.”

“Yeah, he’s told me he has a therapist in the city.” This wasn’t news. Sebastian himself had informed her of it.

“Well did he tell you _why_ he’d started to get therapy?”

She had to think about that. “I mean, I assumed it was during his teen years but I didn’t know...” She trailed off when she autocompleted the sentence in her own mind.

Sam’s face seemed to slowly drain of color. The light and warmth in his skin all fading slowly and little by little until he was dim, dull, and grey. 

“He-” Sam’s voice cracked and he swallowed thickly to recover. He couldn’t say the word and somehow, Riley knew _exactly_ what he was about to say just from the struggle he had to voice it out loud. “He was hospitalized for a while in high school.” Sam left it at that but the look he wore told Riley there was more to the story. “Spent a couple of weeks in a facility. It was bad. Riley, it was _so bad…_ ”

Sam’s voice trembled audibly and Riley felt herself gravitating closer instinctively. She wrapped her arms tightly around one of his, pulling him close and leaning her head against his shoulder until he seemed to soften in her comfort.

“You know, I remember when I first moved in and my mom saying how Sebastian never looked happy but he always seemed fine around me. I mean we played video games, watched movies, he laughed, he smiled, he seemed okay. I was a kid, I didn’t know any better. Adults don’t talk to you about depression and anxiety and shit like that when you’re 10, you know? 

“You know he once shaved off all his hair right after Winter’s Feast because his aunt or cousin or something came to visit and told him _‘his hair looked just like his father’s.’?”_ Sam made an annoyed, almost bitter snicker. “Who _says that_ to a kid? A kid who’d been abandoned? Who’s been...”

She could feel Sam’s anger bubbling. Sam was not an angry person by nature and truth be told, Riley didn’t think he had a mean bone in his body. She did, however, know he had passion in him and he loved his family and his friends. The tone in his voice, acidic and _burning_ was as foreign as it was unnerving to hear. 

“Sam…” She called his name gently with reassurance in its sound. Sam took a long, deep breath to refocus his emotions.

“You know, I still remember that day. It was like junior year or something. His mom called early in the morning and my mom wouldn’t tell me what she was saying but I could see it on her face. I knew it was _bad_ and that it was Sebastian and all I could think about was what it would be like without him in my life and...I couldn’t. I couldn’t picture it without him in it. I couldn’t see my life without him in it.”

He went quiet at that and the reminiscing came to a stand still. Riley saw in his face the pain of those memories and couldn’t really imagine what it was like wondering if the most important person in your life just disappeared one day.

“You know,” he chuckled a watery sound. “I probably should have seen it then that I loved him a lot more than just a friend back then.” His smile faded. “Would have saved me a lot of time going through girls I had very little interest in.”

Riley couldn’t help but smile at that. “Then we may have never started _our_ friendship and where would you be now?”

Something flickered in Sam’s eyes. Something faint, and lightning fast but she saw it there for the briefest moment in time. 

“True.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! How's your week been?
> 
> It's time for an all new update! And boy, do I have a little announcement to make! My next post will not just be a normal chapter update but a 5,500+ word Sam & Sebastian spin-off one-shot! I'm so excited to have you all read it! It'll probably be rated PG-13 or M, purely because of language used, and it's super, super, cuuuuuuuuuuute!
> 
> Anywho's! What do you think so far? Let me know below in a comment! Then when you're done, connect with me and my fabulous group at my own Discord server: https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ


	15. The Dark Abyss Beyond the Cliffs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley should have known the kind of day it was going to be when she woke up in the middle of the night to a sever weather alert.
> 
> [Shane's 6-heart event reimagined]

**Chapter 15: A Dark Abyss Beyond the Cliffs**

* * *

There was a soft patter of rain on the window, the sound of its tapping like whispered nothings in a lover’s ear. The night outside the farmhouse window seemed swallowed in dark nothingness. Inside, however, the bedroom was illuminated by an assortment of candles; casting warm shadows and seductive shapes on walls and ceiling, making skin glow in the dim light.

Shane kissed Riley’s neck and she felt her breath tremble in her throat. Her fingers tightened, blunt nails scraping against his scalp and pulling at his shirt as a wave of liquid heat slid over her skin.

Shane’s hand slid up her leg. Fingers dancing over her knee then giving a gentle squeeze over her thigh before gliding over her warm skin and under her shorts and …

 _“Fuck,”_ she breathed the word like a plead to the gods for more. 

“Relax….” He whispered in her ear before grazing her lobe with his teeth. “I want to make you feel just as…”

A loud ringing shattered the fantasy all at once and yanked Riley out of her euphoria as if she’d been dropped into a cold tub. Heart pounding and pulse racing, Riley sat up with heavy pants and trembling arms. She felt as if she were on fire. She felt as if she were alight and burning from the inside out and no amount of fanning could put out that burning heat.

_Shane._

_Kissing._

_Skin._

Her phone gave another loud ring and the truth seemed to fall into place a little more clearly.

 _“Fuck me,”_ Riley groaned loudly reaching over for the buzzing phone beside her. Half of her expected it to be a late-night visitor or her morning alarm. To her surprise and dread it was neither, but a weather alert.

Severe thunderstorms with heavy winds and lightning. Expect power outages.

_Shit._

Riley checked the time and cursed. 5:15 am, Thursday morning, still dark out and Shane wasn’t expected until 7 that day. Yet the storm blowing in was expected to bring massive amounts of rain, heavy winds, lightning strikes, and probable power outages.

_Should she call him?_

She glanced at the clock again as if a double check would change the hour.

_5:16 am._

_Would he be up already? Was that proper? Was it worth the risk of having him stranded in the storm?_

It was only a fifteen-minute walk to the ranch from here. Just under a mile. He could make it quicker if he hustled.

 _Except he was only an employee,_ she lied to herself. _She had no right to ask him for these favors._

She _could_ try it on her own. Secure the coops, lock the doors, pull up the scarecrows…the mental image of her trying to hobble on crutches from the fields to her shed carrying a single scarecrow at a time was laughable at best and pathetic at worst. 

This was stupid.

She dialed his number before her brain even had a chance to grant her fingers permission.

_Pick up._

_Please pick up._

_Please don’t be-_

Shane’s voicemail was loud and dull as any but somehow so much worse to hear in her current desperation.

“Hey, It’s Riley.” _Wow, great start, Riley Peters._ “I’m yeah, I’m sorry for calling so early but there’s a storm coming in and I didn’t know who else to call…”

The more she spoke the worse it sounded and the less she weighed the merits of this master plan. “You know what?” She paused at a further inspection of her less-than-masterful plan. “Nevermind. I’m sorry for calling so early. Don’t even worry about coming in until this storm breaks. Worst case I’ll see you tomorrow, it’s fine. Stay safe.”

 _Stay safe?_ She could slap herself for that nonsense.

She dressed in record time for the first time in the two weeks she’d had that stupid purple _beast_ on her leg. Still, by the time she’d managed to dress, grab her crutches, and make it down the porch steps, the winds were picking up and heavy black clouds eclipsing the moon and any sign of forthcoming sunrise.

Okay. _Strategy._

She needed to grab the scarecrows. They’d be the first to rip out of the earth in heavy winds.

Shutters. They were simple wooden ones, not heavy-duty aluminum accordions like those she’d had when she lived back in the tropical south. They’d protect the farmhouse windows from projectile debris, like an uprooted scarecrow.

Chicken coop. If she didn’t secure the roof latches, wind could easily rip it open, damage her coop, or even worse, hurt her hens. 

_Shane would never forgive her for that._

She worked her way down the list at breakneck speed. Relying on two metal balancing poles to navigate her fields, Riley only had the capacity to carry a single scarecrow at a time. She chose to abandon the older, less pristine models and save the newer, nicer ones. By the time she had the 6th straw man tucked safely away in the shed, the wind was picking up and a drizzle whipping around, sometimes even moving perfectly parallel to the earth. 

_Coop._

She turned to the chicken coop next. Grabbing the heavy green tarp and rope from the shed, Riley began hobbling towards the chicken coop as lightning illuminated the inky sky above.

 _This was so stupid. So very, very stupid and frankly, dangerous._ Her cast was getting soaked, she could feel mud in her toes already, and each time she stepped forward, the feet of her crutches sunk deeper into the earth and took twice the effort to pull out.

A powerful strike suddenly flashed the entire farm in blinding light. It’s accompanying thunder arrived so quickly after, it almost felt as if Riley had heard the thunder before seeing the lighting. The earth shook with the boom of the strike and Riley gave an unexpected and terrified yelp — before toppling to the muddy earth in a dirty, entangled heap.

The tarp lay half unfolded in the mud to one side and her rope unwound off to the other. The sky was only getting worse, the rain falling harder and... _she wanted to give up._ Riley kicked at the muddy earth in frustration and annoyance. She had a rather troubling headache because this was just _too much_ to manage all on her own, with or without being able to even properly walk her fields.

She felt the first prickle of heat in her eyes and swollen emotions in her throat. It spread into her chest with a heaviness that threatened to pour out in a loud and ungraceful fashion.

“ _Riley!”_ She heard the voice distantly from her side and squinted into the dark storm. For a minute she could barely see more than the water falling and whipping around in front of her. Then a hint of recognizable, Joja-blue, quickly half-sprinting towards her, slipping in the mud and recovering clumsily before making it next to her. Shane appeared red in the face and out of breath whether from the exertion of running or anxiety of the weather was anyone’s guess.

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” He looked angry, mud smearing his clothes and face, dark eyes glaring at her as if she’d committed a crime. She wanted to retort something sly and snarky. She wanted to tell him how ridiculous it was that he was asking _her_ that in the middle of _her_ farm. Before Riley so much as opened her mouth, however, another powerful boom of thunder and flash of lightning sent Shane physically jumping half out of his shoes and looking around as if the world was exploding around him. In all honesty, it felt as if it was.

“Come on, farmer!” He reached down with both hands and with impressive strength pulled her up by both arms in one fluid pull that sent her stumbling into his chest. “You gotta-”

“The hens!” She cut him off, pointing towards the coop with her right hand, her left side still precarious against his soaked t-shirt and sweater. 

“They’ll be fine,” he argued roughly, grabbing her arm and attempting to steer her towards the house. Riley would be damned if she was going to risk her hens after all this trouble.

“No!” she pulled away harshly, tumbling backwards and nearly falling on her ass again before Shane caught her arm. His eyes fell and Riley followed suit to notice he was staring at her cast -- now soaking wet, losing its form, and looking more brown and grey from mud and dirt than its previous purple.

“You shouldn’t be out here-” Shane started again in an argumentative voice.

“Then fucking help me!”

He stared at her. For one long, drawn-out instant, everything was eerily silent as Riley’s eyes bore down on Shane’s and she seemed to piece together much more about him than he’d ever cared to divulge.

_Same clothes from yesterday._

_Pale skin, sunken eyes, red at the rims._

_Slurred speech._

_Stumbling movements._

“You’re _drunk_ ,” she hadn’t even intended to blurt out the observation but the instant those words left her mouth, there was no taking them back. The look of recognition on Shane’s face immediately changed his demeanor. He was looking at her defensively, a tinge of anger and regret darkening his features and sending something cold down her spine in uneasiness.

“You have to secure the coop roof,” She shouted over the howl of the wind and rush of the pouring rain. “It’s been loose for months and with this wind, the storm will…”

“I got it,” Shane grunted. He dropped to the ground without so much as meeting her eyes again and gathered the things she’d dropped. She watched him with increasing anxiety as he tried to stand and stumbled back to the ground. He dropped the rope again before managing to stand. Shane seemed to wobble in his spot, uneasy steps to the coop, haphazard tossing of the tarp over the roof until it slid back down onto his feet once, twice, almost a third time before he managed to get it over the pitched coop roof.

She could barely watch the disaster. It was like watching someone rolling down a spiral staircase, unable to catch them before they hit the bottom.

Shane cursed loudly and explicitly into the howling storm and Riley crawled her way to her crutches, taking calculated, steady movements until she managed to get herself upright. She hopped a handful of steps towards Shane who was struggling to tie down the ropes.

“Shane!” Riley grabbed his shoulder in an attempt to make him look at her. “Look at me, _please.”_

Shane pushed away from her, still not meeting her eyes and making his now third attempt at tying a knot. Riley reached for him again but another flash of lightning and boom of thunder erupted at the same time Shane pushed her away once more and Riley lost her footing.

She hadn’t even realized she was falling until she was on her ass in the mud, a wide-eyed, _horrified_ Shane staring at her.

Horrified, no he looked, nauseous?

“Shane…” Riley raised a hand recognizing that look of disgust and putting two and two together. It was too late.Shane immediately began to turn yellow, and collapsed to his knees. Before either of them was prepared for what was coming, he vomited violently on himself and the ground.

Riley didn’t know if she was more stunned by the fact he pushed her to the ground or the vomiting, drunk Shane before her. She felt frozen in her spot, staring at Shane and watching the darkness break with nearby strikes of electricity and wondering if this was going to be the end of it all.

Shane vomited again, violent, explosive heaves of gut-wrenching spasms and coughing on the bile that bubbled out of him as if he were spewing out his soul. 

“I…” He choked on the single syllable, coughed again and Riley felt frozen in her spot. “I’m sorry…”

It only struck her after that one word that he was _crying_.

“M...my life…” Shane collapsed onto his stomach and let out a pitiful, watery gasp. Dirt, mud, and the bile he’d expelled smeared into his skin and clothes but Riley felt unable to move away and gravitate closer instead.

“I...such a pathetic joke…” he slurred and sputtered in mangled words and sounds as he surrendered all attempting to hold back the floodgates and began to cry openly.

She had to do _something._ Instinct tackling her subconscious and fear triggering survival instinct, Riley knew the delicacy and severity of the situation the more Shane crumbled in front of her. “Don’t look at me…” 

On her hands and knees, Riley took to crawling closer to Shane’s limp form. The dull ache in her ankle worsened with each movement but numbed by the severity of everything else crumbling around her. Riley reached out to Shane hesitantly, her thin, work-worn fingers on his wet shoulder. He was icy under her touch and she only noticed how grey and pale his skin was the closer she got. 

“Why do I even try?” He sobbed into the mud, either completely oblivious to Riley’s proximity or numb to the feeling of her touch. “I’m too..” he sputtered and coughed with a strangled breath. “S-small...stupid...to take co’trol of my life…” 

The truth crashed down on Riley like a cold wave. She hadn’t even thought about it -- considered that he’d done _this,_ drank to the extreme, _life-threatening_ degree, _on purpose,_ until he’d said those half-swallowed words.

And it made sense. It made so much sense, that it physically sliced through her chest with a knife of ice. “I’m j’st a p…” Shane coughed violently, spit and vomit sputtering out in a muddy, watery mess around him and washed away with the pouring rain. “...p-piece of garbage…”

Instinct taking over, Riley pulled roughly at Shane’s shoulder. The heavy solidity of his body barely budged in the rain and he gave no indication of even recognizing her presence. “Shane,” she pleaded, finally letting her own watery desperation be expelled. “You have to get up,” she begged. He made a noise then, gruff and distinguished, and she could faintly feel him pushing away from her yet she grabbed on harder.

“No…” He protested weakly at her struggle.

It wasn’t going to work. Small as Shane might have thought he was, he was just about her height but easily had 50 pounds or more of body weight on her. She wouldn’t even be able to properly stand on her foot without his support, more less get him up too.

He needed a hospital.

 _They_ needed a doctor.

Riley released his shoulder and sat back watching him sink into the mud with his dead weight. Her hands dug into pockets, looking for her phone, _his_ phone, any means of calling for help. “Here’s a chance t’ finally t-take control…my life…These cliffs, I could just roll right off them. I would’....wouldn’t even need t’ jump.”

_Cliffs?_

Riley’s hands cupped around the distinguishable smooth glass and plastic and felt a flood of hope with the phone in her hand.

“B...bu…I’m too scared…” Shane mumbled on weakly as she dialed on the wet phone, praying the water wouldn’t destroy her hope before reaching help. 

“It’s okay, Shane,” Riley begged, uncertain if she was saying it to him or herself. She dug her free hand into his, but he didn’t so much as move his fingers in her grasp, skin cold and rigid as if already losing any connection to the rest of his body. 

“Too anxious…” he mumbled the words much lower and fainter than before. “Jus’ like _always…_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you liked and what you'd like to see next. 
> 
> Also, come connect and chat with me at my very own Discord server: https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ
> 
> Oh! In case you missed it too, I've posted a new little spin-off for what went down with Sam and Sebastian at the same time that Shane was having his reimagined 6-heart event with Riley. Check it out here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24989224
> 
> And a cute little Sam x Seb teaser taking place in the future, here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25044301


	16. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m crazy, aren’t I?” She hadn’t intended to sound so pitiful, but the minute Sam walked into her room, all resolve went out the window and down the drain. To her surprise, Sam smiled a weak, almost bitter smile.
> 
> “We’re all a little crazy around here. I don't think that makes what we think and feel any less valid.”

**Chapter 16: Recovery**

* * *

Riley’s ears were ringing. Loud, sharp tones both steady and unwavering, only heightened with the blinding light of fluorescent bulbs ahead. In her head, she could still feel the cold rain sinking into skin until her bones ached within; she could still feel the way her heart weighed her down until she sunk into the earth under those green eyes. She could still see Shane, crumbled on the ground, talking about _those cliffs_ and throwing himself off them.

She shuddered. Whether it was from the cold _outside,_ or cold within herself, she wasn’t certain.

There was a gentle knock on the door and Riley snapped from the horrible sights and sounds just as it swung open. The instant her eyes recognized those golden waves and worried blue eyes, something cracked in her. It started in her chest, the fracture of something hard and unyielding, but as thin and delicate as fine crystal. Then all the emotions flooded at once, her throat swelled up and her eyes burned harshly. Everything that had been building up and festering deep in her soul over the past handful of hours flooded out at once in the most ungraceful, blubbering mess imaginable.

Sam walked up to her quickly, long arms wrapping around her like a blanket of warmth. Riley felt the only remaining resolve within her crumble and release.

She cried. Long, slobbery grasps and swollen tears. Each round harder and stronger than the one before, unable to get any coherent sounds or syllables out between waves. Despite the mess and desperation, Sam just held her in his strong arms. He held her close as if his arms were the very force holding all her pieces together.

He never let her go, even through the ugly sobs and gasping for breath. Only after her tears ran dry did Riley begin to feel Sam’s grip loosening.

Her head hurt. There was a dull, hard throbbing at the top of her skull and behind her eyes.Yet she could barely notice it over her chest tightening and her head swimming with emotions.

“What happened?” They were the only two words her blond, beautiful support had managed to get out once she let go of him enough to have Sam _actually_ take in all of her mess.

Riley rubbed at her face, crusty dried dirt scraping and stinging her skin. Sam sat beside her on the exam table and pulled her back into his arms to keep her from hurting herself any further than she already had.

She told him _everything._ The early weather warning. Calling Shane. Trying to secure things on her own. Watching him crumble apart. Sam listened, holding her hand the entire time, lighting the room with his warmth and light like he always did.

He handed her a tissue when she was done with the sordid tale and watched her carefully wipe at her face.

“I’m crazy, aren’t I?” She hadn’t intended to sound so pitiful, but the minute Sam walked into her room, all resolve went out the window and down the drain. To her surprise, Sam smiled a weak, almost bitter smile.

“We’re all a little crazy around here. I don't think that makes what we think and feel any less valid.”

She had to blink at that. While Sam was usually the one to crack a joke or do something silly to get her to smile, actually using words so profoundly like this was rare. It made her stare, not in confusion or worry, but wonder.

There was a knock on the door then, but Riley couldn’t dare to let go of Sam’s embrace and the door faintly opened with its own soft squeak as Dr. Harvey — dressed in white scrubs and his classic stethoscope — hesitantly walked in.

“Miss Peters,” a flutter of papers and Riley imagined the doctor looking through a clipboard like the last time she’d been here when she’d broken her ankle. “Can we speak for a moment?” the doctor hesitantly eyed Sam and it didn’t take much detective work to understand what he was asking.

Sam gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Look, I’ll go out to the waiting room. We’ll wait for you until you come out.”

She blinked for a second, stuck on that one syllable out of place. “ _We?”_

Sam turned slightly pink. “I-uh…” He glanced at the doctor a minute. “Sebastian was with me so we came over together. I’ll tell you about it later.” Giving her hand one final squeeze, the blond stood and wordlessly made his way out of the room. The door closed softly behind him and the room seemed to drop ten degrees once he left.

“I was hoping I could ask you a couple of questions about what happened with Shane” the doctor seemed to be questioning the paperwork in front of him and whatever was on his mind. He glanced at Riley and had a strange _look_ on his face.

Rather than wait for the good doc to say what was on his mind, Riley wiped her nose and asked him herself.

“How is he?”

The doctor went quiet and pinched the bridge of his nose for a second of thought before answering. “I’ve pumped his stomach and put him on an IV for some fluids. He’s severely dehydrated and right now the priority is rehydrating his body before we can assess anything else.”

Riley remained quiet and looked at her hands. Even with the dirt washed away and the scrapes and abrasions cleaned, the faint purple bruising reminded her of the feel of Shane’s cold skin and watching him completely fall apart beneath her.

“It’s good that you had him brought in,” the doctor spoke again much more quietly. Dr. Harvey sat on a rolling chair and maneuvered over closer to her. “That much alcohol...it's terrible for the body. It’s so much more dangerous than people realize.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Riley’s voice had never sounded so small.

Harvey took a long inhale. “Physically? He’s going to be okay. But right now I’m more worried about his _mental_ health.” Harvey seemed to hesitate to continue and after a moment of pause switched his attention to Riley’s leg, out of a dirty, mangled cast and back in a temporary splint awaiting recasting.

“Maybe we should get you wrapped up so you don’t have to have this heavy thing on all night.”

Riley remained quiet throughout the entire process. She answered questions when asked, picked green this time around to forget the dirty purple that stained her memories, and didn’t so much as flinch while the doctor wrapped and cast her leg once more.

Doctor Harvey worked quietly for the most part, and Riley was thankful for the few minutes of peace to gather her thoughts.

“Try to keep this one clean and dry this time, alright Ms. Peters?” He tried to give her a smile of encouragement but lost in her own thoughts and memories of that morning, Riley found herself staring blankly at him.

_‘Here’s my chance to finally take control of my life…’_ Shane’s words echoed in her mind like a ghostly wail.

“Life can be painful sometimes,” Doctor Harvey said abruptly in a softer, somber tone.

Riley blinked, her eyes on him.

“There’s always hope for a better future. You’ve _got_ to believe in that. But some of us...some people out there go through so much in life that it's so easy to forget what they’re fighting for; to give up entirely and find unhealthy ways of trying to numb it away.”

Riley hadn’t even realized she was crying until one watery tear fell off her chin and onto her knee.

“I know what the rumor mill is like in this tiny town. Whether or not I’m your doctor and Shane’s, we’re neighbors in Pelican Town too.” Harvey seemed to pause, as if questioning the ethical repercussions of this discussion but giving in anyways. “I’m going to keep him here for a day or two. See if I can persuade him to reach out to some of my acquaintances I have in the city that specialize in mental health and psychiatry.” He gave her cast a test squeeze to see if the material had dried enough to become stiff and hard once more. Happy with the results, Doctor Harvey wound up the rest of his unused materials and discarded what couldn’t be salvaged in a plastic bin.

“Did I do anything to make it worse?” Riley’s voice was barely a whisper.

Harvey’s exhale was loud and through his nose. “Of course not.” He paused, eyes on her broken expression. “I know the rumor mill can be brutal and not the best source of information in this town. But I’m sure by now you’ve heard the same things I have.”

Harvey paused, looking Riley in the eye and waiting for some unspoken confirmation.

“He drinks _a lot.”_

That seemed to be as much as he had expected. “This is going to be an uphill battle for him. It’s not like keeping a cast clean or remembering to take medication everyday. This will be a daily struggle. But you know what? It’ll be a lot easier if he has a strong support in his life _._ A uh... _”_ Harvey seemed to hesitate on a fitting label. “... _friend,”_ he finally settled on with an awkward effect. “Can really make a difference.”

_That_ did catch her off guard and made her shift in her seat. “I don’t think he really trusts me or even likes me that much, Doc.”

Dr. Harvey adjusted his glasses with a pointed look that spoke volumes. “Typically when people are considering ending their own life, they don’t just stop by to say goodbye to someone they don’t care about.”

He paused before reaching for the door handle. 

“You made the right choice calling him in.”

* * *

The storm had cracked a bedroom window of the farmhouse, thrown some debris around the fields like it was a game, and uprooted a tree towards the back field. It was a relief at first that there wasn’t more damage. Being back at the farm, however...after the storm had died and the sun resurfaced -- it felt weird. Like _something_ had changed that morning; like something was _missing_ from the puzzle. 

The following day, Robin came by the farmhouse to inspect the window and see what could be done for repairs. She took measurements, gave Riley a quote and promised to return a couple of days later once the new window would be ready for pickup in the city.

Shortly after she’d left, Sam came by the farmhouse looking much more chipper than he’d been in weeks. Riley wondered how much -- if not all of it -- had to do with a particularly dark-haired man living in Robin’s basement. Sam had asked her to come to the Stardrop Saloon that night for an evening of pool and dinner “like old times,” but she’d graciously declined blaming her ankle and not the inability to face Marnie, Harvey, or even worse, possibly _Shane._

Saturday came and went, and Sunday followed in quick succession. Riley watched from her farmhouse windows as the week rolled in while the fields lay awaiting seeds and sprouts remained untouched.

And minus a few visits for Sam, the week faded in the following weekend soon after, bringing rainy, grey days, with a lingering fog that reflected her own state of mind.

In the swirl of days gone by and hours sitting alone in the house, it was Friday evening once more. Sam had been bugging her to meet up most of the week with him and Sebastian. Neither of that pair had yet divulged all the details of how they went from non-speaking terms to suddenly inseparable all over again. Riley suspected it had something to do with her own state of mind and Sam’s reluctant to flaunt in the presence of her own misfortune. Still, she agreed to meet up at the saloon that evening but the closer it got to dinner time the more she felt unenthused to do so. About fifteen minutes after she said she would be there she sent Sam a message with a halfhearted apology and lame excuse and plopped herself in bed with the TV.

_Fabulous_.

It was a few weeks into spring, she had hundreds of orders for the end of the season, and yet she was sitting in bed on a Friday evening with her fields unfinished and seeds still sitting in bags in her tool shed.

Riley’s eyes glanced at the now green cast propped up on pillows.

_Maybe she shouldn’t have chosen a color that reminded her so much of farm work,_ Riley thought gloomily. Distracted with the connection between the color of her cast and color of new sprouts, she didn’t even Rosie’s ears shoot up like antennae and her attention snapped towards the front of the house until there was a loud knock. 

_It was probably Sam here to drag her out of the house_.

“Go away!” she yelled loudly, immediately feeling the tinge of regret once recognizing her own sour voice. The person at the door was clearly not insulted, however, because they knocked again right after her empty threat.

Riley grumbled loudly, and made her way over to the edge of the bed before hobbling over to the door. Something seemed to bite at the back of her mind; a thought that reminded her of something she was trying to forget.

She opened the door and lost all coherent thought.

Shane stood before her, hands in his pockets and a completely foreign look on his face. Riley wasn’t sure if she was more surprised by the sight of _Shane_ at her door...or the fact that she hadn’t even realized he was back in town. After a couple of weeks gone, she was wondering if he was even going to return.

Shane stared at her for a long second of silence before realizing Riley would _not_ be taking the lead this time around and finally spoke up. “Hey,” he said rather lamely.

_Smooth._

“I...uhh…” Riley watched Shane fidget uncomfortably by shifting his weight from one foot to another and rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “How do I say this?”

His awkwardness and pink hue growing in his face had something undeniably _endearing_ to it. Riley felt her resolve crack at his bashfulness.

“I’m…” Shane took a long inhale. “ _Really sorry_ about what happened...um...the last time I was here.” He exhaled after the mention of _‘here’_ that gave her the impression he’d been holding his breath for a lot longer than he realized. “It was embarrassing,” he added.

At that, Riley felt herself struggle not to roll an eye or in any other way react negatively.

“No really,” Shane licked his lip and shifted his weight once more. “That was…” Shane trailed off. His voice had been low and somewhat distant up to that point, but this time he simply trailed off as if he were fading into a memory he’d rather forget.

“Shane?” Riley asked quietly. It grabbed his attention and those _damned_ green eyes seemed to hone in on hers as if they were meant to be there all along.

Only then, when Shane met her eyes so clearly and strong did Riley _finally_ see it.

“I’m so sorry,” his voice was much lower and softer than before. “It was embarrassing, it wasn’t fair for _me_ to put _you_ through all of that. I got you hurt, I almost…” Shane cut himself off before he could end that sentence and visibly shifted gears. “I just really came here to say I’m sorry for what I put you through, Riley.”

_Riley._ Something in the way Shane had said her name. He gave it almost a musical tone, soft in the middle, a ring at the beginning that trailed off like a fading glow at the end. She _liked_ the way he said it; she was almost certain it was the first time she’d heard him say it too.

“It wasn’t your responsibility to take care of me, and honestly, I don’t remember a lot of the details of what happened, but I know…” he trailed off again, lips going quiet and those _green eyes_ once more locked on hers.

There was something different this time around. A softness to those deep green eyes that hadn’t been there a moment prior. Shane seemed to begin to move backward slightly, like he was second guessing all the decisions that had led him up to this point thus far.

“I’m just happy you’re still here.”

Shane had _not_ been expecting that. His eyes still on Riley, the moment she’d told him this, his face seemed to fall and Riley could almost physically see the weight in his chest shift down on him. He made a sad, solemn nod.

“So it was really that serious, huh?” He tried to smile when he said the words in hopes that perhaps their heaviness would be lightened somehow. It neither worked nor lasted, however, and his face slowly faded the longer Riley just stared up at him.

He didn’t have to say anything else to get the point across. He wasn’t sure he could find the right words to do so even if he tried.

“I, uh...I’m seeing a therapist in the city.” Shane gave a weak smile and took a deep breath. “After I woke up that day in Harvey’s clinic, he had me transferred to Zuzu,” Shane started explaining before his eyes seemed to glaze over and he almost appeared to fade away into the hazy memories. Riley reacted on instinct and without much thought. She reached out a hand to his arm and to her surprise, the single touch pulled Shane from his thoughts.

His face seemed to lighten, and the smallest smile cracked his lips.

“This is pretty fucked up, isn’t it?”

Riley opened her mouth but Shane continued before she could try and deny it.

“You don’t have to say it,” he said hastily. “I know I fucked up. _I’m_ pretty fucked up. In all senses of the word.” His eyes met hers and Riley felt herself hold her breath. “But I’m working on it. I’ve _been_ working on it, and I’ve gotten a lot of...err...perspective over the past two weeks in the city. I’m going to do better. For Jas, especially. And Marnie.”

Hearing those words softened something tightly wound in Riley’s chest.

“I’m going to see my therapist, once a week. She has me going to AA meetings too.”

“That’s great, Shane.” She was genuine in saying so, and put on a soft smile to make sure he knew it.

Shane smiled awkwardly, the color in his cheeks deepening as he shifted on his feet and buried his hands further into his jacket. Riley expected him to say something else, and for a long moment he looked as if he was thinking of it, then failed to do so.

A breeze blew through, not particularly cold but cool enough for Riley to feel the hairs on her arms stand straight.

“Do you want to come in?”

Shane met her eyes and if possible turned even more pink before making up his mind and finally finding the words he wanted. “Nah, it’s okay. I’ve kept you up too many nights already.”

She knew she shouldn’t have thought it; she knew how inappropriate the thought was. As soon as Shane mentioned _keeping you up,_ however, Riley’s thoughts went in a direction a lot less innocent and more reminiscent of the dream she’d had that morning before her world was turned upside down.

She must have begun to blush as well, because Shane quickly began shifting from pink to crimson. “That…” He swallowed his words and took a step back. “I’m going to go.” Shane made an embarrassed face and took another step down her porch. “Have a goodnight, Riley.”

Riley watched him, smile on his face and pink in his cheeks until he turned and began down the path leading south. Against the moonlit sky, the silhouette of distant trees swayed in the breeze. 

Not scarecrows patrolling seeded fields. 

Not trellises awaiting vines.

Just empty, _plantless,_ fields.

“Shane!” Riley called out his name before she’d even finalized her decision. Shane stopped at the sound of her voice and turned to find her hobbling precariously down the three steps of her porch. By the time Riley made it to the ground, he was already there, offering an arm to steady her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked in a rather alarmed voice.

“I uh…” she hadn’t really thought about the best way to ask. “I’m never going to make it through spring without help.”

_Smooth._

“I know that the last time didn’t go so well, but you are so much better at this than anyone elseI know. And I _really_ need the help.”

Shane’s smile was slow at first but began to _glow_ the wider it spread. It was promising; dare she even say it? _Happy_.

Seeing Shane smile like that was contagious., Riley could feel the warmth in her face flooding into her cheeks and making her head dizzy and light. “I could really use _your help,_ specifically.”

Had she said that too low? She didn’t even recognize the volume of her own voice lowering until she’d spoken.

“I can’t work on Wednesdays,” Shane started rather flatly. Then, like the sunshine peeking through, he lit up _brilliantly._ “But I can be here any other day of the week.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should probably give you guys a little bit of insight as to what's going on and why I spontaneously began missing chapter postings. On the 4th of July I found out a friend who I'd known for more than two decades had passed in a car accident the night prior. He was on his way to visit his mom for his birthday. He was planning to move in with my brother the following week. My brother had just talked to him the day before his death. And it kind of really fucked with me. I mean he was my brother's best friend since they were itty bitty, and it was a bit like losing my own brother. And I kind of had a hard time getting over that, going through the funeral and all that...and then coming back to a fic where I had planned Shane to talk all about his half-sister and her accident. And I just don't think I can do that right now. Its just a bit too close to home at the moment, and it took me a long fucking time just to pull out chapter 16 and 17.
> 
> But sad story aside, my friend was a writer and an English teacher and he'd probably be yelling at me about how writing can be therapeutic or whatnot right now so I'm going to power through. Just probably won't go in the exact direction I had planned. I'm not sure where this fic will end? I lowered the projected number to 20, and I feel like its starting to come together faster than I would have thought.
> 
> OH!
> 
> Ladies. Gents. Lovely people anywhere or nowhere in-between. We've got some fun stuff coming. This fic is almost at chapter 18 and BOY, do I have something special planned for it's 18th. Hehehe.
> 
> Okay, I've rambled on enough. You know the drill! Let me know what you thought, what you liked, and/or any predictions because that is legit inspiration fodder.
> 
> \- Digs
> 
> \----------------------------------
> 
> Connect and chat with me at my very own Discord server: https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ  
> In case you missed it too, I've posted a couple of Sam/Sebastian companion fics and have a lot more planned (someone help, I'm addicted to the Sambastian) and it's under the Riley Universe series name, which you can also find on my profile. Cheers!


	17. I Think I Am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesdays and Sundays Shane doesn't work, so Riley takes the opportunity to reflect with Sam on all the changes in their lives.

**Chapter 17: I Think I Am**

* * *

Shane returned Monday morning for his new temporary employment, just before dawn. Riley was waiting, dressed and with coffee brewed. She wore a warm smile and noticed for the first time that there was something  _ different _ about his stance. At first thought, she’d assumed it was a  _ good _ change. Yet as the morning progressed, she came to find that Shane seemed more on edge than he’d been before. He was more reactive to sounds and stimuli and he seemed to hate the world more than usual — evident by the constant barrage of curses and sounds when things didn’t always work out the way he would have initially preferred.

By mid morning, the scarecrows were all out in their designated locations, the hens were grazing on grass or weeds no one had bothered to pull up, and Shane had reluctantly come back into the farm house for a break.

It was quiet and awkward. Despite the nervous pauses in dialogue and occasional glance Shane threw her way, however, Riley could honestly say she’d been in the presence of worse company. The longer Shane seemed to be in her presence, the more that intensity he carried earlier that morning seemed to dissipate. Riley couldn’t say for sure if it was that she had any kind of effect on him, or that being around  _ anyone _ gave him a much needed distraction.

The day progressed, and right around the time that Shane bid her adieu for the day, Riley began to wonder if that  _ change _ from prior was a lack of alcohol.

The following morning, it was back to the fields. She watched with inquisitive eyes as layers were shed in rising temperatures. Sometime between that damned blue Joja jacket being hung on a fence post and the blazing sun above bringing a thin shine to Shane’s skin, she found her eyes following him more than was probably necessary.

A game started between them. Riley would try to push herself into helping, and Shane would argumentatively push her back to the porch where she could “watch and delegate.” Despite the weird banter that evolved from this dance they had...it was oddly  _ comfortable. _ She found herself thinking less about the shit storm that stupid green cast put her in and more about the green of Shane’s eyes, the way his skin went pink in the sun, and the way he looked at her every time he came in for a  _ ‘Riley-mandated break’. _

Wednesday Shane was nowhere to be found, as Riley expected. It was nice to have a day to herself, and she spent it mostly alone, taking stock of chores still left to complete and predicting the crop yield she’d have by the end of spring.

Soon it was Thursday, and just as planned, Shane arrived bright and early. He was a bit quieter at first, and Riley felt herself hesitant to press him too hard for more information. As the day progressed and he went about completing tasks she asked of him, he opened up more.

By Friday morning, their game of  _ ‘don’t let Riley do any manual labor’  _ nearly evolved into a competition of witts. Riley found herself laughing more often at quips and teases and their conversation seemed to evolve into something more flirtatious and playful. She went to bed that evening with a smile on her lips. Then Friday turned to Saturday, in which Shane was only supposed to be around in the morning to care for the hens and check on the crops, yet lingered much longer than necessary, sitting on the front porch steps with Riley until the sun loomed low in the horizon.

Just like that, the week ended. 

Sunday morning Riley had another appointment with Dr. Harvey, and finally -- passing his eye of approval -- found herself upgraded to a slightly more manageable walking boot. Later in the afternoon, Sam showed up at the farm, looking very pleased with himself and carrying his skateboard with a goofy grin on his face. He sprung up the dirt path to the farm house as if radiating sunshine himself, ready to greet Riley with all that she’d missed…

Except Riley had a peculiar look on her face that seemed misplaced and made Sam slow to a pause halfway up the steps to the farm house.

“Good morning?” He asked rather awkwardly.

Riley’s smirk seemed to spread to her narrowed eyes and sharpen the corners of her mouth. “You look rather chipper today.” She hadn’t even brought up the fact that it was 2:30 in the afternoon. “Care to divulge why, Mr. Donovan?”

Sam began to turn pink and reached up to scratch the back of his neck nervously. Riley hadn’t meant to stare. She’s seen Sam in various states of undress on more occasions than was probably normal for a platonic relationship. However, as Sam reached up and the bottom of his t-shirt slid up with the flex of his arm and shoulder, Riley’s eyes just snapped right to the silver of pale flesh that was exposed...and an odd marking just peeking over the waistline of his shorts.

“What happened?” Riley’s first thought had been an injury. I mean it wasn’t  _ that _ far-fetched for Sam -- around this time of year was when he traded his hoodies and scarves for shorts and a skateboard. But when Sam glanced down and began to turn red in his ears, Riley filled in the blanks all on her own.

“Holy shit!”

Sam pulled his shirt down at record speed, the red tint in his face blossoming into a bright crimson. “Riles…” Sam warned bashfully.

Riley was way,  _ way _ past the point of modesty, however. Her excitement manifested in a loud and exuberant clapping that just made Sam’s blush even  _ worse _ .

“Well there goes my conversation starter,” he muttered hopelessly taking a seat next to her, the red remaining like a stain on his face.

“How?!” She asked excitedly. “When?!” That question wasn’t much better so she cut right to the chase: “Is that from  _ Sebastian?” _

And just like that, Sam went from glowing to  _ blinding sunlight _ of excitement and it all came together. Riley hadn’t seen Sam this  _ happy _ in a very long time.

“We’re taking things  _ slow, _ ” Sam began by trying to contain his own glee and excitement.

“Slow. Mm-hmm.  _ Right. _ You’ve got hickeys that tell a different story, but I’ll play along.” Riley folded her hands together for dramatic effect. “Continue.”

Sam rolled his eyes but it couldn’t deter from the sheer  _ happiness _ in his expression. “You're incorrigible.” He laughed at her antics before quieting down. “This is a little weird.”

Riley was perplexed at that and made a face that said so.

“Me,” Sam continued. “In a relationship with Sebastian. Hiding it from everyone...I don’t know. It's not what I thought it would be like.” Sam seemed to weigh on that for a moment before adding, “It’s better in some ways. But the sneaking around part...I don’t know. I thought by now I’d be over the whole  _ ‘sneaking’  _ phase of my life.”

She could understand that. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s just…” Sam trailed off momentarily but Riley could see it in his face: the light coming back, flooding his skin like the blood in his veins, making him glow with something so deep rooted, people spend their entire lives looking for it. “Being with Sebastian is like...I always feel hot around him. Like I’m just radiating heat from the inside-out. And then when we’re together -- I can’t catch my breath. Sometimes I get dizzy just thinking about it.”

Riley couldn’t help but smile. Sam seemed light enough to float into the sky where the sun belonged. He radiated heat and positive energy, like a star did in the darkness of space.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he added a moment late. “Sometimes we’re a hot mess. Sometimes its kisses and touches and all the mushy shit you roll your eyes over, and then one of us says something stupid, or I trip on my shoes, or say something dumb, and its the old Sebastian all over again. Giving me a hard time with those dry, snarky comments or making me laugh so hard I just want to swallow that smile right off his face. I don’t know. It’s weird. But a  _ good kind _ of weird.”

Riley sat silently. How odd was it to see Sam so off kilter and seemingly lost and found all at once. There still seemed to be something heavy looming overhead, however. Like a dark cloud heavy with rain and thunder, the elephant in the room made its presence known with threatening force.

She could feel a  _ ‘but’ _ coming along and waited patiently for it.

“Sometimes I can’t help but think this is too good to be true. I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop; something to fuck it all up. This is so much more than I bargained for, good and bad, and I haven’t really figured it all out yet.”

Riley reached over with a hand on his arm, and Sam glanced at it for a second before meeting her eye. 

“What does Sebastian say about all of this?”

Sam’s anxiety was  _ palpable. _ “He thinks I need to come out to my parents.” He said the words as if they were casual and not something that could effectively change a huge part of his life. Riley, who was now wide-eyed and frozen in her seat could do little else than stare and keep hearing Sam’s words in her head over and over.

“I don’t want to hide us.” Sam looked at Riley with a weak smile. “I don’t,” he began again. “But...I don’t know. It always feels like it’s not the right time to make it about  _ me.  _ Like I didn’t want to upset mom by moving away after high school because my dad was overseas and Vince was really little. And then I started, you know...hanging out with guys, and something in my head wondered if that was just some void I was trying to fill in by screwing around with guys? Like maybe if I just met the right girl, I wouldn’t have those feelings anymore? Which looking back at now, was  _ so stupid _ , but it is what it is. Then my dad came back, and I thought  _ ‘here’s my chance!’  _ But he was  _ different _ \-- he’s  _ still _ different -- and I didn’t want to upset mom anymore than she was by doing anything too radical, moving away, or putting any extra stress on them that I didn’t need to and just...I got stuck.”

Riley felt the heaviness of Sam’s explanation like a weight on her shoulders, and she wondered how much heavier it was on his.

“I think a part of me always wondered if this whole Sebastian thing was just a fantasy I made up in my head -- like I didn’t  _ actually _ think it would ever happen. But now that we’re together, I don’t want to hide it from anyone anymore. I  _ know  _ I’m in love with him. And I don’t think either of us deserve to feel like we have to sneak around to be together.”

Riley remained staring. Sam glanced over and gave her a look. “Now would be a good time for you to say something.”

She swallowed hard and gathered her thoughts.

_ I think I need to tell my parents. _

_ I love him. _

_ We deserve better. _

“I’m  _ so glad _ I decided to come here for some sort of wisdom and advice,” Sam quipped sarcastically. That effectively did pull Riley from her thoughts however. She reached out a hand to Sam’s arm until the blond turned to her with a weak, manufactured smile.

“Are you ready for that?” Riley asked quietly. Sam didn’t seem too certain, so she rephrased her question with a statement. “You deserve to be happy too, Sam.”

His light seemed to waver. “I don’t know.” He paused. “But I’m ready  _ to be happy. _ ”

She couldn’t think of any other words that fit that time or mood. Instead, Riley just wore a soft smile and gave him a nod.

He heard  _ that _ loud and clear. 

Sam looked over the farm, whether biding his time to think of something else to say or trying to distract himself from his own turbulent thoughts, Riley wasn’t sure. She watched his bright blue eyes scan the horizons, glancing over the fresh fields, new scarecrows, perfectly gridded lines in the dirt, and new trellises.

“You know, this place is starting to look like a farm again.”

She smiled at that. “It’s better. Shane’s been working around the clock to get it going.” It wasn't  _ entirely _ true, but given the amount of work he  _ had  _ put in thus far, he may as well have been working  _ ‘around the clock.’  _ At the mention of Shane’s name, Sam became suddenly very interested in the farm.

“Oh?” He made a dramatic, intrigued noise. “Okay, you’re turn,  _ farmer. _ ” 

Riley rolled her eyes and pushed him away in feigned annoyance. It did little to motivate Sam to change the subject however, and Riley’s persistent smile didn’t help either.

“Is he here today?” Sam asked, glancing around. “I wondered why I hadn’t seen him in a couple of weeks.”

At  _ that _ Riley’s smile  _ did _ fade. “Wednesdays are his day off,” she tried to say as calmly and casually as possible. “He goes to the city on Wednesdays.” For therapy, she thought to herself but didn’t say out loud. Sam didn’t ask, and took what little information his friend gave him as enough.

“How is it going with him here?” It was an innocent enough question. Riley had zero reason to expect the blond to be prying for anything other than an honest-to-goodness answer.

_ Wonderful, actually. _

“Pretty good,” she settled for instead. Riley didn’t meet Sam’s eyes, knowing full well those damned baby-blues would pull more truth out of her than she cared to divulge to her friend at the time. “He works hard. He’s good with the hens…”

“Riley.” She knew  _ that voice. _

That was Sam’s ‘ _ spill-the-beans’  _ voice. That was his  _ ‘who-are-you-kidding?’ _ voice. Oh, she knew that voice much too well and dammit, it was exactly the voice she had a weakness too like some love-sick teen-aged girl with a crush on the cute boy in school. All it took was one glance in Sam’s direction and it gave it all away.

Riley sprouted a tell-tale smile and Sam knew  _ that _ just as well as she.

“Have you made a move?”

She smacked him for that suggestion.

“What?” he feigned innocence. “It’s not that far-fetched, is it? I mean if I’m sneaking out at night to see Sebstian, why can’t you see Shane?”

“It’s complicated,” she responded lamely. A fact that Sam made painfully apparent by the dramatic scoff he gave her. He expected her to retaliate by throwing in  _ something _ extra that explained her word choice, but instead she remained quiet. Contemplative.

It gave Sam an indication that  _ ‘complicated’  _ may not have even been covering the surface of her story.

“More complicated than secretly being gay and in a relationship with your best friend in a tiny little town that is always watching everything you do?” Sam’s voice was quiet and soft, words slow and calculated and Riley could feel everything he was saying in them.

“I just don’t want to put any extra stressors on him while he’s...” Riley’s tiny voice seemed to diminish even further with every word she spoke until it faded out all together. She hesitated to find the appropriate verb. “... _ recovering.” _ She settled on. From the corner of her eye, Sam took a long inhale and just held it for some time before letting out through his nose.

_ “Oh.” _ He didn’t ask any further questions, or make any assumptions. Just a simple, basic,  _ ‘Oh.’ _

“Yeah,” Riley exhaled the word as if it weighed her down.

Then there was silence. Both friends just staring off into the sprouting farm, contemplating their own dilemmas.

“I don’t know if jumping into bed with him right now is a great idea.” 

Sam glanced at Riley for a quick second then looked away, very clearly keeping something from her.

“What?”

He wears a bitter smile. “Sex complicates  _ everything.” _

“What wonderful words of wisdom, Samson.”

“You know what I mean,” he countered. “I’m not an expert in any of this, but you know you’ve always got me to talk to.”

She felt the warmth in her chest spreading throughout her veins. Riley took his arm again and Sam gave her one of his classic, sun-shining smiles.

“And you’ve got me too, Sam.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for this long author's note. If you would like ti skip it, let me just say now:
> 
> Happy new Year! Connect with me on Discord via https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ or twitter @Lizzir.
> 
> \------------------------
> 
> So. I know it's been a while. I'm so very sorry for my absence.  
> Uhh. Yeah. It's been one shit storm after the other. And I don't think any of it is really as an excuse but sense I like to overshare:
> 
> I stopped writing after my childhood friend passed in July. It just really fucked with me. As it is, that was the first time I'd written since January when a friend of mine lost her 3-month-old. Well, then in August, my best friend's mother passed away. Then my roommate ditched but I still have a mortgage you know. I fell down the stairs and almost broke my knee (fuck, that shit was swollen for like three months) then the school year started again. I'm a teacher. New school. New position. Oh my good lord, it is so much worse that the media is telling you. Best friend moved in -- new roommate. My family is constantly making me feel guilty for not visiting (they're overseas) and its just really, really sucked. In all essence of the word.
> 
> And then someone went "Hey Digs, you heard of this tiny little indie game here? It was nominated for Game of the Year. You should try it! It's called Hades."
> 
> Terrible mistake. I haven't put it down since November, I have like 120 hours already, it's so fucking good. (I've been begged several times to write something. We shall see.) And then...I got the absolute best, most supportive, nicest comment from a reader MagicalGirlDrPhil. And shortly after 1.5 dropped.
> 
> So I am back! Might be a little slow, probably every to weeks or so, but I do have a couple of chapters going -- and #18 has some spice, and potentially a one-off that comes with it. Maybe. We'll see how it goes.
> 
> Anywho, I've talked enough of your ear off. If you'd like to chat sometime or even brainstorm and get some sneak-peeks (or talk about completely unrelated things) please join my very small and low-key Discord server at https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ
> 
> OH. And if you like Zelda, I recently left my server with my two best mods and the three of us have branched off to a whole new server
> 
> https://discord.gg/AweaMpURSQ
> 
> Lot's of Love and 2021 wishes,  
> \- Digs


	18. One Step Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Haven’t I done enough to push you away yet?” She wasn’t sure when Shane had moved closer, nor when his voice had dropped in tone. That one question brought him so close to her though, she could almost feel his breath as if it rose from under her skin. “I’ve done so much to push you away…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a pretty shitty week so here's an update to hopefully make it better.

Riley woke up one week later on a Monday morning at 6am. She rose from bed, proceeded to dress, strapped on her new walking boot, and stumbled into the kitchen area without much worry.

Just another Monday morning and another Monday morning routine. Coffee. Rosie. Breakfast. Shane. Maybe another cup around then too.

Her phone began to ping with familiar notifications somewhere between scrambled eggs and a coffee refill. Half of her expected it to be Shane, the other expected just some unimportant, random reminder she’d forgotten. For the possibility of the _first_ choice, she went ahead and pulled the device out of her pocket only to discover it was neither.

 _Moderate thunderstorm warning in your area, starting within 20 minutes_.

Well, _fuck._ She grumbled annoyedly under her breath and hobbled towards the door. Rosie was already whining on the other side for her mother to open it. Whether from feeling the dark clouds creeping in or in search of breakfast herself was anyone’s guess. Riley barely had a chance to even consider such whims before noticing Shane quickly making his way up the dirt path.

“You're early!” She shouted to him from the door. He responded with something she could barely make out so Riley made the choice of meeting him halfway through the field.

“You’re early,” she said again when Shane approached her with a smile.

“You shouldn’t be out here.” He gave her a hard expression that didn’t sit well with Riley initially...until Shane sprouted a smirk and she realized it was part of the game again. Without thinking of it, she smacked his arm with a roll of her eyes.

 _“Jerk,”_ she feigned insult, only broadening his smile. Above their heads a low rumble of thunder loomed threateningly like a warning to earth of the sky’s impending meltdown. 

Shane pointed up with a finger. “I heard that and figured you’d be trying to do my job without me.”

It made a warmth emit in Riley’s chest but she pushed it away just to avoid distraction. Wordlessly the pair maneuvered quickly into prep work. Shane secured the coop roof, double checking the doors were shut and pulled in any feed and bowls into the shed. Riley turned off sprinkler timers and was just making it towards the very center of her field when the first raindrops began to fall. Warm, fat plops of water colliding with her skin and clothes like minute water balloons.

“Did you check if there were any eggs?” She called Shane as he approached her. The raindrops on his shirt were beginning to turn his solid green t-shirt into something speckled and clinging.

“I didn’t go inside,” he admitted. In unison, both of them glanced up at the sky. Dark clouds were rolling in quickly, but the faint light still illuminating its edges and filtering in through cracks in the cloud cover reassured them they still had _a few_ minutes for some emergency egg retrieval.

“We better get them before this thunder spooks the hens too much.” Without any argument on Shane’s part, the pair began moving towards the coop. Shane made it there first and wasted no time retrieving the eggs.

It never ceased to amaze RIley how unexpected weather in the valley was, particularly in the spring. One second there was a thread of sunlight still filtering in between cracks in the clouds, the next it was a torrential downpour and she found herself once more in the pouring rain much like those weeks prior when everything all seemed to be falling apart. Without thought, Shane grabbed her hand and pulled her along toward the house, eggs still cradled in his t-shirt like a makeshift basket.

They made it to the porch overhang much like a gust of wind, watery, mud-caked and rather cold. Riley grimaced at the wet boot exteriors and dark-speckled clothes, fully prepared to make some annoyed comment about the rain or storms in the valley - when Shane did something very uncharacteristic.

He _laughed._

A laugh that started somewhere gentle at first, perhaps one could even say hesitant. Then Riley glanced over with eyes likely wide in startle and the look Shane wore made her sprout a smile and laugh as well. And soon Shane’s hesitant, small laugh was a full-body, rib-aching laugh that bubbled from within his chest and released boisterously out of him like a person who hadn’t laughed in years.

“We’re such a fucking mess,” Shane blurted the words without hesitation and with a similar tone and weight to that of a playful banter. Rosie gave a loud and excitable bark as they entered the house, quickly losing interest as Shane paid her little attention, focusing instead on depositing the fresh eggs in a basket on the table before one of them became Rosie’s next chew toy.

"Excuse me, but I prefer _'a cute mess,_ ” Riley teased with a laugh and flourish, ringing out water from one messy braid on her shoulder.

Shane met her eye and went quiet. He kept a smile on his face that was warm and soft and foreign to the individual that Riley had only ever known as bitter and detached. She hadn;t even considered what his silence then represented until the hue of his skin started to flush and she realized his inability to argue the _“cute”_ comment was inadvertently an agreement.

It made her own warmth flood in her face and she couldn’t help but look away.

“Do you need me to do anything that I can work on during the storm?” Riley met his eye as he asked the simple question. There was something in the look he wore that seemed to tickle the side of her subconscious. There was something behind the awkward hand wringing and pacing of his words and change of subject to black-and-white topics that hinted at something different.

“No.” 

Shane visibly took a long breath and held it for a second before looking away. “I guess I could stay later then,” he started this time looking at his hands. “Make sure I make up the time and…”

“Shane?” Riley’s voice was soft and unassuming, yet hearing her say his name seemed to stop him in his tracks. Still, he didn’t look her in the eye.

Whether it was the raging storm, conversation with Sam the week prior, or just her own stubbornness playing a part, Riley felt the insatiable curiosity to push forward and figure out what exactly this strange exchange would lead to.

Hesitant with the heavy boot and quiet as she could possibly manage in her current state, Riley crossed the kitchenette towards where Shane stood. He gravitated a slight ways backwards whether intentionally or not was anyone's guess. When Riley was close enough for even _he_ to ignore her presence he finally moved.

“I probably shouldn’t be here.”

Those words sounded odd at first and then progressively more problematic every second Riley pondered them.

“Why not?”

Shane met her eyes and gravity around them seemed to shift beneath their feet.

“Because….” Shane started the explanation but then trailed off.

Riley was so close, if she even teetered on her balance, she would touch him. The warmth off her skin seemed to radiate off her wet clothes, scent soft and sweet to Shane. It almost made him dizzy just being so close. Yet, he still resisted.

“I’m a total fuck-up, Riley.” He spoke the words as if they were all the reason in the world for her to run away screaming. He didn’t back away, however.

“I thought we agreed we’re both fuck-ups?”

At that, he sprouted a bitter smirk. “No, I said we’re a _mess.”_ He smiled genuinely at that, but it faltered away back to a bitter emptiness. “You’re by definition, the _opposite_ of a fuck up.” Those mossy green eyes seemed to bore right into hers. She wasn’t sure if they were looking for something or _asking_ her for it.

“Shane…” She’d meant to say something about being self-depreciating. She’d meant to make some quip about that stupid ankle being the most epic of epic failures and by definition, _a fuck up._ But before she’d even managed to get the words arranged in her mind, the lights flickered once then out completely, throwing the room into darkness.

It was eerily silent when standing in the darkness of a blackout. Without so much as the sound of electrical currents through the lightbulbs to fill the void of white noise and distant rain patterns of the roof, it was a bit unnerving to be in such tranquil _quiet._

A loud, thunderous _boom_ and flash of lightning briefly illuminated the farmhouse room and shook the floors they stood on. It briefly showed Riley that Shane was still barely a foot away from her, still and stagnant as if waiting for _something_ to move him from his rooted spot. 

From outside the farmhouse walls, the sounds came back slowly. The rush of wind outside, a haphazard and dangerous force that lacked any musical rhythm but blew dangerously against windows and walls. The whistle of air between unsealed window panes and roof tiles. Gurgling waters rushing through full gutters and pipes.

“Shane?”

A hand touched hers before Riley barely finished the name on her tongue. It made her breath catch and invisible lip tremble.

“Haven’t I done enough to push you away yet?” She wasn’t sure when Shane had moved closer, nor when his voice had dropped but in saying that one question he was so close to her all at once, she could almost feel his breath as if it rose from under her skin. “I’ve done so much to push you away…” He began again, voice low and warm. It pulled her in, like an invisible rope that tied her to him, held her _there_ , just out of reach, right of the precipice of that damned cliff she wanted so _badly_ to slip off the edge of.

“Then _don’t_.”

Shane closed the distance between them before the thought even finished on Riley’s mind, nevermind her tongue. Strong grip tight on her waist and chest pressed against hers, its sucked the breath right out of her lungs, and Shane was eager and smooth to dissolve all thought with the taste of his mouth so desperately on hers.

 _Intoxicating._ Kissing Shane was like a luxurious, heavy liquor that warmed you from the inside -- out. It made her mind cloudy and limbs go limp, until her fingers tightened around the wet stretched cotton of his t’shirt, pulling him closer still. Warm lips like silk against hers, the smell of cinnamon and something spicy, a scent that seemed so familiar yet distinct and _intoxicating_ by every definition of the word. The warmth of a body close to yours, spicy breath, smell of their skin in your nostrils. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed it until it was there, at her reach.

_She wouldn’t let it go this time._

Her body seemed to take over from there, working on its own accord without so much as the care or decency to ask permission of her mind or heart. Her hands moved up, swift and lithe fingers over wet cotton and soft lines of cold flesh beneath until they sunk into the strands at the back of Shane’s neck and pulled him impossibly closer.

Shand groaned, hearty, and strangled, full of acidic need and want and a gasp of breath that begged for so much more. His grip tightened. Hands firm on Riley’s waist, fingers digging into her skin, not enough to injure or hurt but just the right pressure to promise _more._

“Shane,” she hadn’t even realized words were on her tongue until she’d gasped his name out loud.

Just as quickly as that spell swallowed her whole, it spit her right back out. Shane pulled away all at once and with enough speed and force to make Riley sway uneasily on her feet before gathering her barings.

“I-I shouldn’t have done that,” he started quickly with the rising tone of his voice.

_No._

Riley reached out swiftly and purposely, grabbing his hand and tugging him to her until he stumbled up against her, pushing them both a step forward until she found herself sandwiched between Shane’s body and what she assumed with the back of her couch. 

He was so close, she could taste his breath with every exhale he made.

“I...I can’t-”

She kissed him, long and slow and lingering with a hand on the side of his face until Shane forgot the word he’d been trying to spit out.

“You _can._ ” Riley’s voice was low and soft, malleable and decadent like a melting chocolate. Shane leaned his face into her hand and though she couldn’t see it, Riley almost envisioned his eyes pressed closed, holding any resolve he had to fight this _thing_ that was quickly evolving between them.

She could feel his hands against her, her shirt just riding up enough to get the faintest sliver of flesh against flesh. Shane’s thumbs made slow, languid circles against her waist and it took all of Riley’s concentration not to imagine everything _else_ he could do with those fingers, in various corners and crannies of her body.

“You could do so much better,” he started again before Riley quickly stopped _that_ nonsense with another kiss, longer and lingering, until they were breathless and dizzy.

“I could do so much _worse_ than be with someone I want and wants me too.”

Shane groaned with that admission, and this time rather than part, took her mouth and gave her a sloppy, bruising kiss.

_The town would talk._

_The rumors would spread._

And she didn’t give a _damn_ about them, either.

Riley pulled away enough to stand straight. Her eyes were adjusting to the darkness and she could see Shane laser focused on her, lips swollen and red, just slightly parted, full of so many unmet promises. 

Slipping her hand in his, her finger fit so perfectly between his, one would think they were designed specifically for that purpose. She walked a step towards the other side of the room, giving Shane’s hand a tug. His eyes moved from their hands together between them, to the doorway a distance behind Riley. Even he didn’t have to put much thought into what room she was asking him to follow her to.

Seeing his hesitance, Tiley tried to pull him along once more. This time he _did_ speak.

“I haven’t been with anyone — while _sober —_ in years.”

It probably shouldn’t have, but that admission was somehow _endearing_ to Riley and took all the energy she could muster not to sprout the faintest smile.

“Not exactly sure who you think I’ve been with in the couple of years I’ve been in town, but I guarantee you you’re wrong either way.”

Finally. The faintest tilt of his lips upward.

Riley smirked. Shane was already standing taller, taking a step towards her.

A step in the right direction.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come chat with me over fanfiction and the occasional Stardew session at: https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ
> 
> OR, if you like Zelda/general Nintendo games, news, etc in a chill and relaxed environment, you can join me and the best two other admin in the world at the Hyrule Hideout:
> 
> https://discord.gg/AweaMpURSQ
> 
> Lot's of Love and wishes,  
> \- Digs
> 
> \----------------------------------------
> 
> By the way. My dyslexic, bilingual ass needs a beta reader if anyone is interested and more qualified than a marginally literate math teacher. Just throwing that out there in the wind.


	19. Sunshine Through Dark Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the end of spring comes a time for reflection and shift in season for everyone in the valley.
> 
> Maybe one last dance is just what everyone needs this time of year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniffles* This is the last chapter, folks. What a ride it's been. I still have an epilogue but this is the official end. Please stay tuned for my end notes and enjoy Pelican Town's annual flower dance.

* * *

**Chapter 19: Sunshine Through Dark Clouds**

* * *

  
  


Sam stood in front of Riley with his hands in his pockets and visibly shifting his weight from one foot to another. Today wasn’t too much different than any other Wednesday, and he’d done this dance a dozen times. It was just another yearly tradition for Pelican Town and the same routine as always. Even then...today felt different.

Sam let out an anxious breath in anticipation. It was just about the perfect day for an outdoor celebration. Soft clouds in the sky, just enough to occasionally provide some shade without the threat of rain. The air was warm but there was a breeze, and it brought with it the waft of flowers and strawberries, courtesy of Honey Hills Farms. Everything decorated in fresh blooms in all colors naturally possible. All in all, it _should_ have brought to him peace and comfort. Yet...

“You’re going to sweat through your shirt if you don’t relax,” Riley teased lightly as her friend seemed to _buzz_ with energy, excitement, and even some nerves through his powder blue dress shirt. He looked down at her with abnormal softness but she wasn’t entirely sure how much of that was just his allergies making his eyes itch.

Sam let out half a chuckle and fidgeted some more impatiently, but the look he had in his eye and smile that graced his handsome face told his friend there was something more special about today that he’d yet to divulge.

“What are you even nervous about anyways?” She joked lightly giving his tie one last tug. It wasn’t perfect, but that was about as good as her thirty second video tutorial got her and it was still _loads_ better than anything Sam could have achieved himself.

“Nothing,” he lied flatly. Even _he_ knew there wasn’t a frozen chance in hell that RIley would believe it. He smiled again, took a deep breath and metaphorically embraced himself.

“So...you remember that job I interviewed for a couple of weeks ago?”

Riley wasn’t entirely sure what she had been expecting for Sam’s news but this hadn’t been it. “The one in Zuzu?” She did remember it. It had been just about the time she’d finally been freed from any braces and she’d convinced Shane to come on full time to work with her on the farm. Since Sam hadn’t mentioned it since, she’d assumed it went south and wasn’t going to bring it up again.

Sam nodded anxiously. “Well…they offered me a position.”

It took a whole second for Riley to process the significance of that statement. She had to think about exactly what he’d just told her, but once the significance of his news sunk in, it changed _everything._

A job, a change...this was it. This was Sam’s moment, the beacon of hope towards his future in doing something that far surpassed any possibilities that Stardew Valley had to offer him. This was Sam’s chance to create music and make a career of something he loved and had a talent for. It was falling together like jigsaw pieces, perfectly fit for what he wanted.

Yet, he didn’t seem nearly as convinced as he should have, given the circumstances. Riley could see the trepidation in his eyes and in the slouch of his shoulders plain as day. It brought forward more questions than answers.

“That’s amazing, Sam.” It truly was; she didn’t want to undermine the importance of his news. “Why don’t you look happy about it?”

“I am happy,” Sam reassured her vacantly. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck and Riley knew well there was a _but_ just waiting to make its presence known. “It’s just...I don’t know. It’s a kid’s show which is weird, but I’m not knocking it. It’s music, it’s a foot in the door and I’m not complaining about that at all.”

He still hadn’t said it though -- whatever it was that was weighing him down and crawling at the surface of his mind.

“If I take the job…”

“ _If?”_ Riley interrupted with emphasis. Sam sprouted a smile and rolled his eyes. 

“I know, I know. _When_ I take the job…” _Still,_ he hesitated.

It didn’t matter, however. Riley had already pieced together the complicated puzzle that was Sam’s trepidation. In hindsight, she probably should have realized what was biting at him sooner.

“You’d have to move to Zuzu.”

Sam met her eye with a look that confirmed she guessed correctly. It left a weight sinking in her heart even if she knew, this was _exactly_ what Sam needed in his life.

“Production starts in eight weeks. I can commute for a while but I’d have to find a place by then if I take the job.”

“What did Sebastian say?”

Sam’s brilliant, sunshine-of-a-smile fell.

_Ah, so that was it. That was the big elephant in his path._

“You haven’t told him yet,” Riley confirmed without even asking. “Do you really think he’s going to be upset that you got such a great opportunity?”

“No, that’s not it at all,” Sam said quickly. He seemed lost on what to do with his hands or where to stand. “It’s just...I don’t know. Things are _good_ now. We’re in a relationship, my dad’s doing better, Vince has both parents at home, I’m out and proud and it’s great...I just don’t want to mess it up now by moving to the city and leaving him? I don’t know…”

It made sense, at the surface. Moving away meant more distance, more strain on a relationship, particularly one that was in its first season. 

But...this was _Zuzu City_. This was the one place Sam and Sebastian had always talked about moving to one day. The one solution that kept sticking to Riley’s mind seemed so obvious and straightforward, she wondered how that thought never even struck Sam within his whole dilemma.

Riley took two steps forward and pulled her sunshine in for an embrace. Sam naturally returned the jester, his long arms strong and familiar and he hugged her back with just enough pressure and warmth to say all the things that were still left unspoken.

“Your silence in freaking me out a bit here, Riles.” He muttered low when the embrace lingered longer than usual. Riley laughed, but pulled away enough to look him back in the face.

Something was definitely different. It was still her Sam. Her warm, bright, positive energy that radiates warmth and happiness in all the dark and cloudy moments. But he seemed somehow matured too. That spring had molded him not into something new, but a more stable, evolved version of the young man he was before. He was more _settled,_ in a sense. Filled out in the metaphorical, emotional and psychological sense.

_Happy._

“What?” Just like that, the handsome, sunny smile went goofy and lighthearted and she wouldn’t expect any less from him.

“I think you’re overthinking this and just need to talk to Sebastian about it.” There was an irony to Riley telling _Sam,_ of all people, that he was _‘overthinking it.’_ she could also see why maybe the most obvious thought to come to mind may have felt too premature.

_I mean they’d barely been dating a few months to be considering..._

Then again, they’d known each other for _years_ and she had to think that their history counted for _something_ when taking into account traditional relationship milestones.

“Have you seen Shane yet?” Sam asked unexpectedly. 

Riley glanced up and then towards the direction her friend was staring. “No, why?”

She saw him almost immediately, but it was clear as day he’d seen her a long time prior. Shane stood at the end of the clearing, off in the distance under the shade of the Cindersap Forest trees and decorative flowers, but it wasn’t the scenery that grabbed her attention.

He looked _dazed,_ if that was even the appropriate word to call it. He stared at her as if he was watching a miracle unfold or something equally gripping. It made a warmth blossom somewhere in her chest and permeate her bloodstream until it’s settled in her fingers and toes.

“Riles, I’m not an expert or anything but I’d say now is probably a good time to go over there,” Sam smiled even with his voice. She didn’t need him to tell her though because Shane had yet to look away, even when Jas tried to grab his attention. The little girl tugged at his arm but Shane barely even noticed, too entranced instead by the woman approaching him.

“Riley,” it was Marnie’s voice that spoke first. “You look beautiful, dear. Doesn’t she, Shane?”

The pink hue blossomed in Shane’s face before he managed to find a voice, making Riley laugh.

“Well thank you, Marnie.” She watched Shane expectantly and off to the side Marnie said something to Jas and walked away leaving the pair alone. “So, are you dancing this year?” Riley smiled with the best feigned sweetness she could muster, and Shane did all he could not to swallow up that smile right off her face.

Shane took her hand and pulled her closer until she came flush against him and wrapped her arms around his neck with a musical laugh.

“You really are something, you know that, farmer?” His voiced dropped low and husky but it didn’t matter either way because all coherent thought just seemed to fade away into the blur of flowers and music as he kissed her with a presence that made her just as weak in the knees as she was in her bum ankle -- thoroughly wrapped up in a flat boot for safekeeping this year.

He kissed her low and slow with his arms firm around her waist and something that promised so much more if they weren’t currently standing in public view and in the middle of a Pelican Town festival.

Riley giggled uncharacteristically when they separated. She kept her forehead against his, and her eyes lingered closed longer than probably necessary but she didn’t care much for formalities when he held her the way he did and his kiss still lingered on her lips the way they had.

“I take it you like my dress today?”

Shane made a low sound in his throat just shy of a growl and gave her one more kiss before pulling away enough to look her in the eye. “You’re beautiful, Riley. With,” his eyes shifted down just a fraction bringing warmth up Riley’s neck and into her face. “...or _without_ that dress.”

_That_ didn’t need translation.

“Puts any flower queen to shame,” he added with a smirk.

It made her laugh, her glee loud and bubbly and carrying with it the sweetness of late spring and warmth of an approaching summer. “Don’t let Haley hear you, wouldn’t _dream_ of taking that title away from her.”

Shane responded by rolling his eyes and finally separating his arms from around her. Half of RIley wanted him to stay there; to feel the warmth of him close and taste of his breath. The other half knew the festival was just starting and there was much, _much_ more time for all of that later. 

They wandered hand-in-hand between barrels of the Valley’s best flowers and strung together paper decorations hanging from trees. Riley greeted everyone she met, smiling and catching up on new town gossip and news, none of which ever included Shane or Sam.

And she was _glad._ After all the worry she’d had and Shane had imparted as well, it seemed the best way to steer the rumor mill away wasn’t to hide at all -- but rather to make it clear in the daylight that there wasn’t anything worth hiding to begin with.

_Go figure._

* * *

Later when the sun was hanging low and shadows stretching to new lengths and distances, Riley found herself on the edge of the clearing, looking out over the cliffside. She hadn’t meant to be alone, but Shane was dancing with Jas who insisted her godfather danced at least _once_ with her so she could pretend to be a flower queen and he’d reluctantly agreed for her own benefit, much to Riley’s amusement.

They had all night to to continue their _‘conversation’_ anyways.

Off in the distance and the privacy of a secluded ledge, Riley caught sight of a very familiar blond head and his darker companion. Sam sat on an old log bench beside Sebastian, close to his love but lost in what clearly looked like an important conversation.

She smiled at their proximity though. She knew Sebastian wasn’t one for unneeded attention or public displays of any sort, but she could read the closeness in which he sat next to Sam and the relaxed curve of his shoulders as they spoke.

They looked _good_ together. Even from the distance in which she watched, there was something happy and strong between the couple.

“Hey chickadee…” Shane’s voice approached the lone farmer as she watched with growing interest. Riley grabbed his hand as he came up behind her but didn’t turn away from what she was watching unfold. Her fingers laced in Shane’s like they’d been cut to exactly his dimensions. Shane didn’t really see the appeal in witnessing someone else's romantic experimentations, but he did know one thing with absolute certainty.

He kissed the side of her neck and felt her sigh into the tenderness of his touch, even if she didn’t look away from whatever was unfolding down below.

“I love you, you know that?” His voice was gruff and just loud enough that only she could hear and no one else.

She’d meant to respond immediately, but off in the distance Sebastian had just pulled Sam in by that sloppy tie for a kiss and the musical sound of Sam’s laugh filled in more than enough blanks on what had just transpired. She could easily have bet her farm on what they’d just discussed, and by the looks of the way Sebastian leaned right into that kiss, it was clear he’d found a very simple solution to Sam’s dilemma.

_With the end of spring came a shift in season, for everyone in the valley._

Riley abandoned her show and turned to Shane. He was smiling. Wide and charming and she noticed not for the first time that _today was a really good day._

She wrapped her arms around his neck and felt his arms around her waist. 

“Buh, no _‘I love you’_ back?” Shane teased with a gleam of mischief in his voice. It made her laugh just as he pulled her in for another kiss.

“I love you too, silly,” she mumbled gleefully into his kiss. “You know, once upon a time you told me you didn’t like public displays of affection,” she recalled the memory with a quiet laugh.

“I think I can say a lot of things I said in the past might need revisiting.”

Shane’s words piqued Riley’s interest and she made it apparent with a bite of her lip and a rake of her blunt nails down the back of his head. She almost felt his reaction in the quiver of his breath.

“Oh yeah?” She teased once more. “Like what?”

They swayed softly to some far off tune and neither of the couple knew when the music had started or when an embrace had evolved into a dance but it didn’t really matter anyway.

“Like…” Shane moved in close and kissed her slow. Warm, full lips, intoxicating taste, and just enough to promise her more. 

It made her breathless and it made her warm. Her cheeks were pink when he looked at her again. Her voice quivered when she asked, “And?”

That time Shane stopped. He didn’t move and didn’t sway and he stared at her like he’d answered something he’d long been searching for.

“Like maybe there is more to this life. Maybe I _do_ see a future here.”

Maybe there were two suns on the horizon today.

“And maybe I do want all the things I poked fun at when I was in a bad place. The farm, the white picket fence, hell, maybe even more things we’ll get to one day.”

Riley swallowed hard.

“Not right this second,” Shane’s nerves resurfaced and for a split second Riley could almost see him taking back everything he’d just said and more. 

Instead he took a long, slow exhale out of his nose. Something his therapist had practiced with him.

“But one day...” He wasn’t hesitating any longer. “There’s a lot of things I still want -- and I want them with _you.”_

She could work with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been so healing and uplifting to write this story with you all. I hope you've enjoyed it even just a fraction of as much as I have.
> 
> I do have a couple of things I've been dying to know though. As you might have noticed by now, I've made a purposeful effort to never give Riley any physical descriptions. And I wonder now, how everyone's pictured her? If you'd be willing to share, I'd love to know!
> 
> Also, what do you think the epilogue has in store for our Riley and Sam? As you may know if you've read any of my other fics, I usually write the epilogue early on. In this case, I wrote it shortly after the first chapter and while its been edited once or twice, it's pretty much stuck. 
> 
> I can't wait for you to read it!
> 
> Come chat with me over at my Discord server  
> https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ
> 
> And as always, don't forget to leave me some love!  
> \- Digs


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few years have passed and Riley makes a trip to Zuzu city to ask her best friend something very special.
> 
> After all, who else would she ask of something like this?
> 
> [Please see end notes for more info]

**Epilogue**

* * *

  
  


Riley knocked on apartment 406 and waited with excitement and nerves settling in her stomach.

It wasn’t a very far drive to get to Zuzu city, at least not this specific district. In fact, on a day like today it only took her and Shane about 55 minutes to get to the front of Sam and Sebastian’s apartment complex. Yet she hadn’t seen her best friend in a couple of months and despite the fact that they still talked  _ every day _ on the phone…some things were meant to be shared in person.

Loud footsteps echoed from the other side of the door with a recognizable but muffled voice and not a moment later the wooden panel swung open to her sunshine once again.

“Riley!” Sam was  _ beaming _ and he wasted no time to pull her into a hug and squeeze so tight she almost thought she was going to pop but couldn’t do anything but laugh.

“Come in, come in,” he quickly maneuvered out of her way and shut the door behind her. “Welcome to the apartment!”

Riley laughed. She’d been there before. Over a year ago in fact, when he and Sebastian had first moved out of their last shitty apartment and into this nicer one—complete with a spare bedroom that was converted into Sebastian’s office. Riley didn’t correct Sam on it though. She wasn’t here to tear down her friend, nor did she have any desire to do so. 

A lot could change in a year, and it seemed that was such the case in this small, mid-city apartment. She was just happy to see him and see his happiness.

And boy.

She had to stare.

“What?” Sam looked alarmed at her stare. There was something very different about him. Maybe it was the fact that his hair was three inches longer, or that he long ago ditched the hair gel and spikes, or the whole thought that he was wearing his hair in its natural wave and in a short ponytail. He looked more tranquil, calm for the first time in his life... _ happy _ like she’d waited a long time to see _. _

“Hey, Riley,” Riley heard Sebastian’s voice before she saw him. The second she did however she almost shrieked in bewilderment.

“Sebastian!” 

When she’d met him and knew him in his entire life in Stardew Valley, Sebastian McAllester did his absolute  _ best _ to hide his last name. That included covering his freckles with foundation, rimming his pale eyes in liner, dying his surprisingly  _ bright _ ginger locks as black as dye came and he could manage, and at one point even attempting to legally erase his heritage by changing his name. So it came as a shock to Riley when she turned to Sebastian’s voice and found... _ Sebastian. _

The bright sun from the wide open windows brought out  _ all _ the freckles on every inch of exposed skin which made her stare in itself because she wasn’t sure she’d  _ ever _ seen him in short sleeves before today. He didn’t wear the excessive eyeliner either, and overall he looked so much more  _ free _ than she’d ever see him in the Valley.

‘ _ And I haven’t seen him this comfortable in his own skin in a long time.’ _

The memory of Sam saying those words all those years ago almost made her want to cry. She didn’t really get it then. She didn’t see how one person could be so disgusted with themselves to want to hide so much. She hadn’t known those years ago all the measures Sebastian had taken in his teens and twenties to cover up his body and identity.

But meeting Shane, getting to know him and understand how toxic those inner demons could be made her understand a little better.  _ This  _ Sebastian didn’t hide the way he had before,

“Been a while, aye?” He wrapped her into a hug and it was chilling how much he looked like his mother for a second.

“Hey, where’s Shane?” Sam only then noticed the other half of the dinner party was missing as his boyfriend released his best friend.

“Oh, Shane had to check in on something in the city so he dropped me off and should be back in about half an hour or so.” Riley shifted from Sam, tall, and glowy, and looking like a real ray of sunshine — and Sebastian, who’d finally grown into his skin.

They looked  _ good, _ and even better  _ together. _

“Is…” Sam hesitated and rung his hands together, confusing Riley for a minute. “Is everything  _ okay _ with him, or…?”

It took Riley a minute to understand what he was asking. “Oh! Yeah, he’s great. Actually he’s sponsoring someone. Through AA. He’s at four years sober, as of last month.”

That reminded her…

“Listen Sam, I have to…”

The ringing of a phone cut everyone’s attention and all eyes turned to Sebastian as he fished a phone of his pocket and without missing a beat answered,

“Sebastian McAllester, please hold.” Sebastian lowered the phone and looked between Riley and Sam. “Hey, I’ve got one more client to update but I’ll be done in 45 or so?” 

Sam and their guest nodded and Sebastian flashed a smile as he made his way towards his office, closing the door behind him. From beside the office door Riley noticed some of the frames decorating the walls. 

A poster of the children’s puppet morning show Sam wrote and produced music for. A photo of Sebastian getting an award last year for finding some loophole in a fancy firewall for some hot-shot company. A picture of Sam and Sebastian  _ and _ Abigail at the beach. A photo of her and Shane’s wedding.

“Guess that means I get to pick dinner!” Sam rubbed his hands enthusiastically and Riley got a flash of his 22-year-old self.

Her stomach turned and it reminded her of what she needed to ask him. Now that it was just the two of them too, it would be the perfect opportunity. 

“Hey Sam?” She leaned against his kitchen counter. Her fingers twitched and she felt that familiar queasy/excited/fluttering sensation of anxiety flare up.

_ Just breathe, Riley. _

Sam was eyeing her expectantly, not a care in the world. So she took the plunge.

“What are you doing in September?”

_ Silence. _

Sam cocked a brow and Riley could have almost sworn he tilted his head like a dog too. “September?” He repeated. “Like six months from now, September?”

_ The butterflies were quickly evolving to water buffalos. _

“Yes,” Riley clarified. “ _ That _ September.”

Sam twitched his nose and fished his phone from his pocket — still a feet to manage, because the skinny jeans had stayed.

“Mmm…” he chewed on his thumb and flipped through the phone as he sat on a bar stool. She wasn’t entirely sure if he was actually checking to see if some mysterious entry put itself on his calendar or if he was simply amusing her but she appreciated it all the same. “Literally,  _ nothing _ . Why?” When he looked back up at her something was different in her expression.

“Just don’t make any plans, okay?” Riley could feel her heart hammering in her chest. “And the same for Sebastian. Just make sure you two aren’t planning any flights out of the country or something then.”

Riley’s tone seemed calm enough but her words were worrisome at best. 

“Riles, what’s going on?” Sam took a step closer. “What’s happening inSeptember?”

She could see him trying to put it together, trying to piece together all the possible events that could be so significant that Riley would have him save the date six months in advance.

“Well,” she started carefully.

_ Deep breath. _

“I just want to make sure when my daughter is born, her godfather will be there to meet her.”

Sam stared at her. 

One second.

_ Blink. _

Two seconds.

_ And then… _

It started with the recognition in his eyes. That part lasted less than a heartbeat. Then it was all at once like a tree in Winter’s Feast, Sam’s entire body just  _ lit up _ in brilliant, blindly light.

His throat closed up and his mouth moved but no sound came out and…

Fuck. She was going to cry. She could already feel the well of emotions and moisture just on the brink of flooding and she was going to fucking cry again.

“Me?” It was the only sound he managed to sputter. “You want  _ me _ to be the godfather?” 

_ Here are the water works. _

He was on her faster than she really was expecting. Long arms tight and secure and thankfully Sam had always had an impressive build or he probably would have knocked her down with the first hug.

When he pulled away his eyes were red and she could see all the emotion well up in them and that was the final straw for her own floodgates.

“You’re pregnant?” 

Riley laughed at that one.

“And you’re having a girl?” He laughed a watery, sloppy, half-choked laugh. “A  _ baby _ girl?”

Riley sputtered something of a giggle. “As opposed to what, Sam?”

But Sam didn’t even care if she was teasing him. He couldn’t get over what she’d asked him. “You want  _ me _ to be her godfather?”

Riley smiled. “If it makes it easier, Shane is still trying to convince me to name Jas the godmother, and she’s 13.”

Sam laughed and his hand squeezed hers.

He’d never be able to forget this.

Hell, now he’d never even be able to throw out these barstools they sat on because these were the stools he was sitting on when Riley Peters-Walters asked him to be her first-born’s godfather.

“Why me?”

Because before there was  _ Shane,  _ there was  _ Sam. _

“Who else could I ever trust with something like that?”

It started with  _ Sam. _

  
  


  
  


* * *

**_The End_ **

* * *

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Don't cry, Digs.*
> 
> Well my lovelies, Happy Love Day! It was fully unintentional that the epilogue of this fic ended up posted on Valentines, but I can't say I'm complaining. Somehow its beautifully timed, isn't it? I will say, even though this is the end of the official story....I have a good 50,000 words of deleted material. Like fully developed chapters that I ended up cutting because they didn't fit the flow of time in the story. Throughout this story so many of the most amazing comments I got was about the flow of the story -- which is precisely why I have so much deleted material. 
> 
> SO.
> 
> I'll be posting some of it in an additional posted "fic." If you'd like to look out for it, please subscribe to either myself as an author or the Riley Universe since those will be all the Stardew Fics I write that involve the timeline/universe of Riley & Sam. (Sometimes more Sam than Riley, but the boy's gotta shine, right?) For smaller bits and pieces, you'll have to come find me at my Stardew/games/writing/general foolery Discord Server "Deviations" https://discord.gg/Md8xBJJ
> 
> As always, I thrive and get all ooey-gooey over comments, so let me know what your thought?
> 
> Lot's of love,
> 
> \- Digs


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